Julia's First Grade Book

Julia and her classmates worked hard writing and illustrating their very own stories last week, and today, each student got to bring his or her book home.  Julia's story is on a subject she knows very well:

First

The Grade

(aka The First Grade)

by Julia Rowe

I would like to point out that the first graders that MY first grader drew are better illustrations than I myself made in my FIFTH grade "Young Authors" school stories.  I have said it before: my kids have not inherited their artistic abilities from me.

Inside the book is an "About the Author" page:

So, Julia lives in Neebham.  I guess Madeleine is not the only person in the house who is confused by lower case "d" versus "b."

Also, I'm a little surprised that her favorite school snack is donuts.  As far as I know, she has never actually had donuts as a school snack.  I would have guessed that Goldfish are her favorite school snack.  But maybe she's just exerting her wishes here.  Hint, hint, Mom.  I want you to pack me DONUTS for snack.  NOT friggin' Goldfish.


Here comes the story, all about first grade:

"On the frist day of frist grad.  Jasper and Fern ware so exsited."

Oh.  Wait.  I thought this book was about first grade.  Sorry.  Apparently it's about the frist day of frist grad.  At any rate, I am *definitely* exsited to read more!

"Thare techer Miss Winse led them in.  Fern felt old.  'Now class,' said Miss Winse.  'We shall leirn the roles."

Leave it to Julia to have roles be the most important thing about frist grad.  Julia has ALWAYS been a strict role-follower herself.  Unlike her often role-breaking little sister.

"Fern wisperd to Jasper 'This is hard.  But it is fun,' she said.  'Now Fern roule five is no wisporing.  Now exsplane yourself."

Oh, no, Fern!  Now you REALLY got yourself in hot water!  You broke roule number five, and I can see from the illustration that you're getting put in the dreaded "Take A Break" chair!

"I-I was saying your the best techer ever,' Fern said.  'Thank you,' said Miss Winse.  When they were done at schoole the bus came."

WOAH.  Niiiiice job, Fern.  Way to smooth-talk your way out of the "Take a Break" chair!  High five!  (Miss Winse seems to be easily manipulated, if you ask me.)

"Fern and Jasper got good nouse.  They were the best roule folwers ever."

Hooray!  The best ending ever!
Ohhh, Julia, and your randomly applied, unnecessary silent "e"s.


At the end of the book, there is this special authorial dedication:

This book is dedicated to: my family and my aunt's dog Clara
because: my mom gave me my speshel wall stikers for me.

That's right, folks.  This book is dedicated to Julia's family - AND Auntie Shannon's dog - all because I bought special wall stickers for her for Christmas. You're welcome, fellow family members.  I'm happy to be of service.  I intend to buy Julia future Christmas gifts so that you can all get a book dedicated to you next year as well.