Thursday, November 30, 2017

Artwork!

Oh boy!:



I can't wait to see Madeleine's work, especially if it's done in her signature creep-tastic artistic style!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

The Singing Problem

Madeleine's conundrum of the day:

MADELEINE: Mommy?  I reeeally love singing while I'm going to the bathroom, but the problem is, when I'm in the bathroom for a long time, it's when I'm pooping.  So if I'm singing songs while I'm pooping, then I have to wipe, and THEN I have to wash my hands, and when I'm washing my HANDS, I have to count to TWENTY, and counting to TWENTY means it interrupts the song I'm singing.

Ugh, that IS such a problem.  I *hate* when my need to wash my hands interrupts my poop time singing.

Perhaps I should teach her that the song "Happy Birthday" is roughly twenty seconds long, so she can sing that while she washes and she'll know she's hit the correct number of seconds for prime de-germing.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Sharing

Walking home from school today, I asked the girls about their day.

ME: So, did either of you get to share about our trip to North Carolina?
MADELEINE: I did!  I got to go FIRST!
ME: You did?
MADELEINE: Yes.  But...(turning sullen) I didn't get to say ANYTHING about Owen.
ME: Why not?
MADELEINE: Because the teacher only lets you share ONE sentence!
JULIA: So why didn't you make your sentence about Owen?
MADELEINE: BeCAUSE.  I said "I went to North Carolina."
JULIA: (with knowing authority) You could have just said "I went to North Carolina to visit my  new cousin Owen."  That's still one sentence.
MADELEINE: No!  The teacher was just like, "It's time for questions and comments."
ME: What kind of questions did the kids ask?
MADELEINE: (sighing with deep grievance) Do I *have* to tell you?
ME: Okay then.  How about you, Julia?  Did you get to share about the trip?
JULIA: I got to share my video of me doing the 50 butterfly.
ME: You did!?  That's so cool!  Were the kids impressed?
JULIA: (in annoyance) I don't know.  I wasn't LOOKING at peoples' faces while the video was playing.
ME: Well, what kinds of questions did they ask?
JULIA: (in annoyance) I don't remember.
ME: Did anyone ask if you won?
JULIA: I *didn't* win!
ME: Yes, you did.  That was the video from your medley relay, that you girls won.
JULIA: No it wasn't!  It was my 50 fly!
ME: It was the 50 fly leg of your relay.
JULIA: (whining) Well you didn't TELL me that!
ME: Okay.  So, were you feeling so proud watching yourself swim on the video?
JULIA: (turning sullen) I was feeling like I have BAD FORM.
ME: Okay then.  I'm just gonna throw in the towel here on getting you girls to share anything about your day with me.
BOTH GIRLS: (continuing to walk in silence)

I mean, seriously.  It's like I'm torturing them for information.  No wonder they don't remember what questions kids asked.  They probably just said "Do I *have* to tell you?" when asked anything about the subject.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Homemade Gifts

I'm not sure the girls have put enough homemade gifts under the tree yet:



The tree just went up last night.  And we've already got a pile o' presents underneath, courtesy of our crafty children.

Madeleine is also hard at work making presents for the homeless.  Inspired by a video she watched at Sunday School today about a family living in poverty, she has decided we should descend upon a homeless shelter with homemade gifts.  And maybe some real gifts too!  So far, she has made or collected:

-A paper ornament.  (Because apparently Madeleine assumed one must have a Christmas tree even if one has no home)
-A cardboard cane made out of an empty wrapping paper tube (I'm sure that will be sturdy enough to support the weight of an injured human)
-A pile of coins from her piggy bank (She's not giving dollars, because she's saving up)
-Some old socks she has outgrown (Who doesn't want teeny socks with holes??)

Watch out, folks.  This kid is gonna change the world.  One cardboard cane at a time!

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Let it Snow?

Last night's bedtime snuggles conversation:

MADELEINE: Mommy.  Isn't it STRANGE that it doesn't snow in San Francisco, but it snows in NEBRASKA?
ME: Why is that strange?
MADELEINE: I don't know.  It just sounds like it should snow in San Francisco, but not in Nebraska.
ME: Well, it doesn't really snow much in California.
MADELEINE: Wait.  San Francisco is a CITY?
ME: Yeah.  It's in California.
MADELEINE: It is??
ME: San Francisco is a city, and Nebraska is a state.
MADELEINE: But doesn't Nebraska seem like it SHOULDN'T get snow?
ME: It can get really cold in Nebraska.
MADELEINE: But Nebraska has, like, lots of COWS and animals and all these farms.
ME: Well, Nebraska has a lot of farmland.  So in the winter, when the snow covers the farm area, it helps moisten the soil, so that in the spring the crops can grow.  Crops don't grow as well in really dry, hot areas, so-
MADELEINE: Mommy?  I'm not really very interested in learning about FARMS.
ME: Oh.  But-
MADELEINE: I'm more interested in learning about, like, Pilgrims and Native Americans.
ME: Well, farming has a lot to do with the story of Pilgrims and Native Americans.
MADELEINE: No, I mean, like, learning about their HOUSES, and what it was like on the BOAT, and in the tee-pees, and stuff.


Sheesh.  Okay.  I guess I'll just shut up about the farms already.



Thursday, November 23, 2017

11th Birthday

Happy, happy 11th birthday to this kid!:


In case you're wondering if she has outgrown her need to gallop whilst thinking of the Mintz family now that she is 11, the answer is nope!  In fact, Julia spent a good chunk of our morning in Charlotte galloping in Auntie Caitlyn's backyard.  Curious as to what the Mintz are up to this Thanksgiving?  Why, they're in North Carolina, too!  Are you shocked?  I am!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Madeleine the Rebel Girl

One of Madeleine's favorite gifts she received for her 8th birthday is this book from Auntie Shannon:



The book is made up of one-page stories of history's most influential women, with an illustration and salient quote opposite the text:




Madeleine recently finished the entire book, and was delighted to find that the last page is a blank entry for the reader to write her OWN rebel girl story.  And boy, did Madeleine go to town on hers:




Madeleine Rowe
Swimmer

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Madeleine.  Madeleine loved to swim.  But when she turned 8 things got hard.  The Tsunami swim team, the swim team she did not do in the summer, started doing things like 300s strait!  And they got pretty serious about flip turns.  But Madeleine's mind was buserk and creative.  She did things like sing songs in her head and make up games that helped her accomplish what her coaches asked.  Madeleine said she would be on the swim the swim team as long as her sister, Julia, was on it.  Madeleine's mind was so buserk that she aimed for a new, crazy goal: breathing only once and then NO TIMES on a twenty five.  She accomplished one breath - but then she wanted to do more.  Madeleine then accomplished no breaths on a dive twenty five!  She kept soing it and got new times on each one.  17.40.  17.8.  But Madeleine's best time was 17.5.  She told her mom every time she got a new time.  Madeleine's mom was so impresed every time she heard.  Madeleine is a great swimmer and is still swimming today.  And even when times get tough, Madeleine still keeps swimming.  She wants to insipe other young rebal girls who are just like you.

Born October 2, 2009.



Well, I'll tell ya, this *definitely* insipes me.  How about you??

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The Underwear Song

After I had gotten in the shower this morning, Madeleine emerged from bed and wandered into the bathroom.

MADELEINE: Mommy!
ME: (poking my head around the shower curtain) Yes?
MADELEINE: Like my song?  (singing progressively higher and higher) Underwear, underwear, uuuuunderwear, Underwear, underwear, uuuuuuunderwear, Underwear, underwear, uuuuuuunderwear.
ME: Great!
MADELEINE: So Mommy.  How high can *you* sing underwear?


I have had laryngitis for the past week+.  I think Madeleine has asked me to imitate some sort of singing or sound effect she is making up at least once per day.


ME: Not very high, because of my sickness.
MADELEINE: Oh.  Yeah.  I forgot.  (thoughtful silence)  Well, Mommy, can you at least do this?  (singing at a normal pitch) "Underwear, underwear, uuuuunderwear?"
ME: (imitating her) Underwear, underwear, uuuuunderwear.
MADELEINE: (encouragingly) That's pretty good!


All right!  Thanks for fluffing me up a bit, Madeleine!  I needed a little confidence-booster and she sure delivered.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Genius Comments

Genius comments of the weekend:


While watching Holiday Baking Championship:

JULIA: Wait!  Duff spells his name with F's?  I thought it was D-O-U-G-H!

Yeah!  Just like pizza duff.


JULIA: Naval Academy?  Does that mean he's a NOSE doctor?

Yup.  Just like I'm suffering from all this awful post-naval drip.


While eating lunch:

MADELEINE: Mommy?  If you're being HAWAIIAN, M & Ms are really COCONUT.

Oh, okay.  I'm so glad she told me that, because I've always wondered what M & Ms are when I'm being Hawaiian.


While watching a Thanksgiving show:

MADELEINE: Sometimes I suck on my fingers SO hard, it feels like I'm gonna BREAK MY CIRCULATION.

Um, maybe just don't do that.  Not just because of the circulation, but BECAUSE IT'S GROSS.

Friday, November 17, 2017

American Girl Dolls

This evening, in the car, the girls decided to bicker over the worthwhile topic of whether or not Julia is younger or older than Madeleine's American Girl Dolls.

MADELEINE: Julia, can you believe that some of my American Girl dolls, except, like, not Willa and Baby Lily, are OLDER than you?
JULIA: Madeleine, in the books, American Girl dolls are, like, NINE or ten so they're NOT older than me.
MADELEINE: No, but Julia, the ones that aren't from the books.
JULIA: Wait, how old is Madeleine?*
MADELEINE: She's TEN.
JULIA: Well, if she's ten, then I'm older than her, because I'm ALMOST eleven.
MADELEINE: Wait, Julia, when's your birthday?
JULIA: November 23rd.
ME: Madeleine, you don't know when Julia's birthday is??
JULIA: She NEVER remembers my birthday.  She's always like, "Wait, Julia, when's your birthday again?"
ME: Really??
MADELEINE: Okay, so Madeleine's birthday is...November 5th.
JULIA: December 5th?
MADELEINE: November 5th.
JULIA: (scathingly) Madeleine, it's already PAST that.
MADELEINE: Oh!  Okay...uh...
ME: Wait, Madeleine, do you know my birthday?
MADELEINE: (proudly) August 31st!
ME: Do you know Daddy's birthday?
MADELEINE: Uh....uh....uh...
ME: You should really know the birthdays of the people in your family.
MADELEINE: (ignoring me) Madeleine's birthday is...TOMORROW!
JULIA: (in utter despair) No!  It CAN'T be tomorrow!
ME: Madeleine, I really think Julia wants Madeleine to be younger than her, so can you just make Madeleine's birthday after November 23rd?
MADELEINE: (sighing in annoyance) Fiiiiiiine-uh.

*To make things extra confusing, Madeleine the human named one of her American Girl dolls Madeleine.



I can understand why Julia was so frustrated.  I'd be pretty ticked off if I found out my sister's doll was older than me, too.  I mean, here I'd be, thinking I'm the oldest kid in the house, and then WHAM! I discover that non-human Madeleine is actually older than me, edging me out by just a few days.  Good thing human Madeleine was amenable to changing non-human Madeleine's birth date to keep Julia in her rightful place as oldest child, human or otherwise.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

American Girl School

Today in American Doll School, Madeleine is the music teacher, singing and drumming to her very attentive students:




Madeleine is kind of a jack-of-all-trades teacher for her dolls.  Sometimes she's the class teacher, sometimes she's a specials teacher, and sometimes she's a reading teacher who reads aloud from her own school media books to the American Girl dolls.  I have to say, Madeleine is captivating in any teacherly role she plays for her dolls.  They never even make one peep as she reads or teaches them; instead, as you can see in this video, they just sit there in rapt attention.  Madeleine sure runs a tight ship in that classroom!

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Singing in the Shower

While I was sitting in the locker room after Madeleine's swim team practice, I thought I heard her calling for me from her shower stall.  

ME: Madeleine?  Are you calling me?
MADELEINE: No.  
ME: (peeking my head into the shower) I thought I heard you.
MADELEINE: Oh!  You might have heard me singing QUIETLY, because I always do that when I'm in the shower.
ME: Oh, you do?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  This time, it's about a Pilgrim and a Native American, and the Native American is named Meadow Vole, and the Pilgrim is named Rosie, and they're BEST FRIENDS.

Ah, so this is a historically realistic song, I see.

I figured that since she'd been singing for awhile, she must be almost done with her shower.

ME: Have you done your shampoo yet?
MADELEINE:  Uh, no.
ME: Okay.  Did you do your soap?
MADELEINE: Uh, not yet.

So she was essentially standing under the water and singing.  I helped her get a move on with her shampoo, then went back to wait on a bench near the showers.

Next time I checked on her, I guess the Pilgrim and Native American story had ended, because she was instead singing "Refrigerated Veggies."

ME: Are you all done?
MADELEINE: Uh, no, sorry.  I was distracted.


I then went into the shower stall and finished her up, because at this rate, we were going to go through the Rowe Girls' Greatest Hits before she had even gotten started with cleaning herself.  I mean, I'm all for the singing, cause both Ethan and I are known to break into song at any given moment, but you gotta be able to multi-task here, kiddo!

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Take a Deep Breath

So, plans went awry this evening when the dinner I had left for Julia fell through and she JUST.  COULDN'T.  COPE.  Julia gets a ride home from Honors Band at the same time that I'm dropping Madeleine off at swim team, so I always leave a dinner for her and she calls me once she's home to let me know she's safely in the house.  I had left her a quesadilla for dinner and a note saying there was salad in the fridge.  Unfortunately, our house cleaner, who mentioned to me that she cleaned out our fridge today, must have thrown the partially-used bag of salad away, and that set a catastrophe in motion for Julia.  She called me, per usual, and things just kind of fell apart from there.

ME: Hey, Jules.
JULIA: There's no salad!
ME: There isn't?  None in the fridge?
JULIA: No.
ME: Okay, shoot.  Well, why don't you wash a pepper and cut it up?  You can have that for a veggie instead.
JULIA: But I don't know HOW to cut a pepper!
ME: Well, do you want to try cutting it yourself, or do you want to wait until I get home?
JULIA: But if I wait 'til you get home, I'll get a CRAMP!
ME: I don't think you will.  I'll be home within the half hour.
JULIA: No, I have to have it sooner than that!
ME: Do you want me to stay on the phone with you while you try cutting it?
JULIA: (grudging silence)
ME: (waiting patiently)
JULIA: Which KNIFE do I use?
ME: Okay, if you look at the knife block, you can use one of the knives on the bottom-most part of the block.  Those are steak knives.
JULIA: The SHORT ones?
ME: They should be a regular length.  Sometimes someone puts the short-bladed ones in there, so if you find one of those, put it back and try the one next to it.
JULIA: But you mean the WEIRD-LOOKING ONES?
ME: The ones with the serrated edges.  The kind of bumpy edges.
JULIA: The short, WEIRD-LOOKING ONES?
ME: What do you mean, weird-looking?
JULIA: Like, the teeny tiny ones!
ME: You should have one with a regular sized blade with bumpy edges.
JULIA: You mean the LITTLE, WEIRD-LOOKING ONES?
ME: Okay.  Describe the knife to me.
JULIA: I can't.
ME: Is it a really short blade, or a regular sized one?
JULIA: It's really small and skinny with bumpy edges.
ME: Okay.  I don't know why it looks small to you, but that sounds like the right knife.
JULIA: How do I even CUT a pepper?
ME: Do you have a plate to cut it on?
JULIA: Hang on.  (clanging around the cupboard) Okay.
ME: So, before you cut it, try to visualize the center of the pepper, because that's where the seed pod is.  So you want to cut off a slice from the side.
JULIA: I can't do it!  It didn't work!
ME: So, you want to-
JULIA: (on the verge of tears) I cut it in HALF by mistake!
ME: Okay.  So, you just want to get the seeds out now.
JULIA: But I can't do it!  It won't work!
ME: Do you see the seeds?
JULIA: Yes.
ME: So, you want to-
JULIA: (wailing with tears) I did it ALL WRONG!  I can't have a vegetable now!  This was the LAST PEPPER!
ME: Okay.  So you cut it in half?  Is it in two pieces?
JULIA: I can't do iiiiiiit!
ME: Then why don't you just wait until I get home and I'll do it for you.
JULIA: It will be too LATE by the time you get home!
ME: Honey, you don't have swim for another hour.  You have plenty of time.
JULIA: No, I don't, because if you're gonna be home in a half hour, it will be a half hour until swim, and I need to get READY for swim!
ME: I'll be home WITHIN a half hour.  Probably in about 15 minutes.
JULIA: That's too LAAAAAATE!  It takes me like TWENTY MINUTES to eat peppers!
ME: (taking a big, meditative breath) Okay.  What would you like to do?
JULIA: I caaaaaaan't cut it!  I cut it in HAAAAAALF!
ME: So it's in two pieces?
JULIA: I don't know how to describe it!
ME: (with as much patience as I can muster) Okay.  So, tell me what the pepper is like right now.  Is it in two pieces, or is it in one piece with part of it hanging off, or did you cut a piece all the way off?
JULIA: I don't know how to describe it!
ME: (taking a deep breath) Okay.  Do you want to wait until I come home?
JULIA: It's in TWO BIG HUNKS!
ME: Okay.  So what you want to do is cut a piece off of one of the hunks, to start with.
JULIA: I can't!  The hunks are too big!  I have NO IDEA HOW TO DO THIS!
ME: (taking another deep breath) What would you like to do?
JULIA: I'll just have NO vegetable tonight!
ME: Do you want to wait until I get home?
JULIA: No!  THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!
ME: Okay.  I'm going to be leaving the Y in about two minutes, if you want to wait for me.
JULIA: I can't cut this!  It's TOO HARD!
ME: (breathing deeply and summoning all my patience) What would you like to do?
JULIA: (grumpily) Wait for you to cut it for me when you get home.
ME: (releasing my breath) Okay.  Well, I'll see you soon.


OMG.  That was a RIDICULOUS amount of emotion and energy wasted over a bleeping pepper.  I guess my kid is old enough to be home alone for 15 minutes but clearly not old enough to handle the emotional trauma of attempting to cut up a vegetable.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Honors Chorus Performance

Julia got to leave school early today to get to our town's Senior Center with her fellow Honors Chorus members.  The singers put on a concert of patriotic music in honor of Veterans Day, and because the concert didn't start until 3pm, Madeleine and I were able to swing over right after school and attend.

When we arrived at the Senior Center, Madeleine looked around at the audience and then asked discreetly, "Mommy?  Is this place for OLD PEOPLE?"

ME: Well, this is called the Senior Center.  It's a place where Senior Citizens, who are usually people over age 60, can get together and-
MADELEINE: And PAAARRTY??

Yeah.  Close.


My tall and lanky Julia was way in the back row, without risers, so I could only catch a glimpse of a portion of her face from time to time, as you will see in this video of a really lovely canon the group sang:



Oh, hi, Julia!  Oh, wait, you're covered up again.


Another of the songs the group performed was a medley of anthems from the various branches of the US Military.  The chorus director asked veterans to please stand when they heard their song so that we could acknowledge them.

MADELEINE: (leaning over to whisper to me) Wait, who has to stand?
ME: (whispering back) Anyone who served in the military.
MADELEINE: (pausing to think, then leaning back over to whisper) Wait, so, uh, did you?

Does this kid know me at all??


The highlight of the performance was a sing-along, in which chorus members got to integrate themselves within the audience.  Julia, Madeleine and I enjoyed singing all together, although Madeleine wanted to know why I was singing with such a wobbly voice, and I tried to explain vibrato to her.  All in all, it was a really sweet concert, and I'm so glad I was there to at least hear, if only partially see, Julia in performance!

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Thanksgiveing Chart

This morning at church, the girls once again joined me in the choir until the beginning of Sunday School.  Julia, as usual, sang along with the music she knows, and Madeleine sat in the pew trying to be as quiet and non-disruptive as possible.  Now that Halloween is over, Madeleine no longer sat drawing witches instead of paying attention to the Liturgy.  This Sunday, she sat and drew Thanksgiving pictures instead of paying attention to the Liturgy.  Luckily, I had only two interruptions during the course of my singing; one to ask me if I could serve as a model with my hair tucked behind my ear, and a second interruption to tell me she forgot what one of the things she drew is called.  (FYI, it's a cornucopia.)  By the time the kids headed off to Sunday School, Madeleine had created this masterful "THANKSGIVEING CHART":





"Some familys like to serve a turkey for dinner."

"A cornacopia will often be a Thanksgiving item."

"Give thanks to parents" (oooh, look, there's me with my hair tucked behind my ear!!  So proud to have modeled that!!)

"A Thanksgiveing feast sometimes might have a pie for dessert."

"You might where special clothes to honor the native americans and the pilgrams."  Nuh-uh.  I ain't wearing no pilgrim costumes for Thanksgiveing.  But to each her own.


"Bonus!  Try traceing your hand on a peice of paper.  You can make a turkey!  After you make the face, you can color your turkey in!  Have fun!  Happy Thanksgiveing!"


Okay, well now I'm all set for Thanksgiveing, because Madeleine's handy-dandy chart filled me in on everything I'll need in order to be ready!

Friday, November 3, 2017

The Nutcracker

On our walk home from school, Madeleine told me about the upcoming mini-performance of The Nutcracker that she would be doing in music class.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  Do you remember how Julia did The Nutcracker when she was in second grade?
ME: Yeah, in music class?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  Well, just to tell you, my class will be doing it in six to seven weeks.
ME: Oh, great!
MADELEINE: But Mommy?  I'm feeling a little APPREHENSIVE about it, because I *really* want to be Clara, but I'm afraid I'll get a part that I don't really want to do.


In order to calm her own apprehensiveness, Madeleine decided to put on her own version of The Nutcracker for the baby-sitter this evening.  By the time the sitter arrived, Madeleine was dressed in her reindeer onesie, ready to put on The Nutsmacker, in which she would play the role of Mara.  It's a bummer that I had to go to a work event and miss the grand performance of that one.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

The Shower That's Right There

After Julia went out to the pool deck for swim practice this evening, she suddenly began beckoning at me through the glass of the viewing window.  I went out on deck to find out what was so urgent.

ME: What's up?
JULIA: When you put my stuff in a shower, will you pick the shower that's all the way down near the bathroom stalls?  That's my favorite shower.
ME: Okay...the shower on which side of the room?
JULIA:  The one that's on (gesturing vaguely) that side.
ME: But what side do you mean?
JULIA: Like, the one that's on (gesturing vaguely) that side.
ME: Okay, hang on.  Which way are you imagining you're facing?  Facing the lockers, or the door?
JULIA: Like, if you're, like...facing the DOOR.
ME: Okay, facing the door, and then which side is the shower on?
JULIA: (gesturing vaguely) That side.
ME: But which side do you mean?  The side with the bigger showers, or the side with the smaller ones?
JULIA: The side that's like, (gesturing vaguely) right there.

Clearly, Julia was not able to register the fact that I could not see the vision of the locker room that was inside her brain and orient myself towards the direction she was gesturing.

ME: I still don't...I can't...hang on, let's try this: is it the shower directly next to the bathroom stalls or across from the stalls?
JULIA: It's right next to the stalls.
ME: Oh, okay.

I hung her towel on the hook and put her shampoo and conditioner inside the shower directly next to the bathroom stall.  Fingers crossed that I interpreted all her ambiguous descriptions correctly and did, indeed, secure her the favored shower!