Monday, February 29, 2016

Star of the Week

Well, today was a big day for Madeleine.  To start with, the Tooth Fairy visited last night; even though Madeleine knows the Tooth Fairy is just Mommy and Daddy, she insists upon the dollar NOT appearing until overnight.  Yesterday, Madeleine lost yet another front tooth, leaving her with this gaping hole in her mouth,:

and leaving her one dollar richer this morning.

The second piece of big news is that after waiting for a long six months, it is *finally* Madeleine's turn at school to be "Star of the Week." 

She got to share her "All About Me" poster and answer any questions the class had about herself.  It sounds like she did a bang-up job with her answers, too.

ME: So what kind of questions did your class ask you about your poster?
MADELEINE: Well, someone asked why Montreal is my favorite place.
ME: And what did you say?
MADELEINE: I said, "because I like it."
ME: Did you tell them we went there on vacation?
ME: What else did the kids ask?
MADELEINE: Well, someone asked why swimming is my favorite thing to do.
ME: What did you say?
MADELEINE: I said, "because it's fun."
ME: Did you tell them you're on the swim team?
ME: Oh.  What else did the kids ask about?
MADELEINE: Well, the teacher asked me to tell her about my family.
ME: What did you tell about us?
MADELEINE: Well...I just told who everybody was in my family picture. 
ME: Did you tell everyone how old your sister is, or what her name is?

Sounds like she really went above and beyond to elaborate upon every picture on her poster.

At any rate, the week has just begun, and Madeleine has still to bring in her favorite book for the teacher to read, as well as to bring in a favorite item from home for a show-and-tell.  It's a swell life being a kindergartener!

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Fashion Forward Madeleine

Over the past few days, I've gone through a bin of Julia's outgrown clothes in sizes 6-7, washing a bunch of items and putting them into Madeleine's dresser drawers.  Madeleine was SO excited to sort through them and pick out an outfit of new-to-her clothes today. 

After a lot of labor and a lot of hard thought, here is what Madeleine came up with for today's fashion statement:

The hairstyle was her own idea, as well: what she refers to as "bunny ears."  If I don't do the pigtails high enough on her head, they're simply not bunny ears.  Only one bunny ear got a special bow today, because it's her "lucky bunny ear."

What do you think, folks?  Is she runway-ready or what?

Friday, February 26, 2016

United States Quiz

Well, Julia's obsessive studying of her United States placemat has paid off big time.  Today she had a quiz, in which she needed to label the state she had reported on at the State Fair, as well as that state's capital.  Following several other questions about the USA, including the country's capital and the names of the country's regions, was this Bonus Question:

Well, well, well.  Thanks to her daily perusal of the states while eating breakfast, Julia knew all fifty nifty United States:


Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Universe. And More.

Madeleine has come to the age-old, epic question of what existed before there was existence.  Specifically, she wanted to know how, if God created everything, but God wasn't ever born, He just always existed, how did God even come to be?  This reminds me so much of my struggles to wrap my head around the idea of what could have been going on before the universe was created.  I simply cannot grasp the concept of "nothingness."  How can there be nothing?  Isn't there always some sort of space?  How can there literally be nothing of any dimension or existence?

Anyway, I tried to explain to Madeleine that this whole thing is a mystery to all of us.

ME: Well, the thing it, Madeleine, not even scientists truly understand WHAT was there before the universe.  It's a mystery to everyone what it was like before anything was created.
MADELEINE: Yeah, and it was just all BLACK and NOTHING and invisible GOD.
ME: Yes, right.
MADELEINE: And God I picture like a CLOUD.
ME: Like a cloud?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  And whenever you say "God has powers," I imagine a yellowish-orangish lightning bolt that's 2-D.

Wow.  That's a very specific and interesting image.  I wonder why the lightning bolt is only 2-D.  Maybe because only our particular universe is in 3-D.  God's realm isn't.

Speaking of lightning bolts, we had a massive thunderstorm last night whose cracking booms of thunder woke up the entire house.  I actually woke up screaming, because the sound startled me so greatly.  Before I knew it, Julia was in the bed with me, freaking her anxious little head off.  Madeleine was much mellower, staying in bed and simply commenting, when Ethan checked in on her, "I bet that thunderstorm woke the whole FAMILY up!"

Today, as we reminisced about the thunder, I told the girls about how I had actually screamed.  Julia described her reaction.

JULIA: Well, I was, like, kind of awake during the earlier thunder, and I was thinking, like, "Oh, GREAT, a thunderstorm."  And then when that BIG boom of thunder came crashing down, I sat BOLT UPRIGHT and I was like, "Is our house falling down??"

Luckily, nothing fell down around us, and we were all eventually able to catch another few hours of sleep.  I thank God and his 2-D lightning bolt for keeping our world's dimension from getting hit!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Madeleine's Homework

Well, yesterday I posted on facebook about needing to supervise Madeleine while she does her homework.  Because she has become so skilled at reading and writing, she doesn't need me to read the homework instructions aloud to her, and she has taken to completing the assignments when I'm not even in the room with her.  Hence, my discovery yesterday that she had responded to the question: "Write a sentence about something you did over school vacation" with "I did sumthing with my fingrrs."

ME: Madeleine?  Uh, I think you need to re-do your first homework question, because I think it needs to be an actual activity you did over vacation, not just that you did something with your fingers.
MADELEINE: UGH!  But MAMA!  I don't even KNOW what else to write!
ME: Well, why don't you write about our play-date at the Listewniks house?
MADELEINE: I already DID!  That's when I was doing something with my fingers!
ME: Um.  What was it you were doing with your fingers?
MADELEINE: I don't remember.
ME: You don't even remember?
ME: Was it part of a game with the other kids?
MADELEINE: No.  I was, like, just...PUTTING my fingers together and playing something by myself.

Today, while I was at work, Madeleine took it upon herself to work on her "All About Me" poster for school, without even the help of her baby-sitter.  I have to say, I learned some interesting things about Madeleine upon seeing her completed work.  For instance, I had no idea that this is what she wants to be when she grows up:

When I grow up, I want to be: a bascitball teacher.

I never would have expected that Madeleine, having not even ever played bascitball, would have aspirations to be a bascitball teacher when she grows up.  Although, I guess, the last time I checked, she wanted to be a barber, and she doesn't have any experience in that area either.

Then there is the question of one wish.  What sorts of dream does Madeleine have for the world?  If she could be granted just one wish, what would it be?
If I had one wish, I would wish for mommy to stay alive.

Okay.  So.  I am incredibly touched that she would use her one and only wish on me, simply because she loves me so much that she wants me around always.  However, this phrasing kind of makes it sound like I'm on the brink of death as we speak.  Before I get some concerned phone calls from the school administration, I think I'd better have her add the word "forever" to the end of her sentence.  And, yeah.  If I had been with her while working on this, I could have possibly persuaded her to wish for a cure for all sickness, or an end to poverty, or something a little less creepy sounding.

Although...creepy-sounding kind of fits.  It is an "All About Madeleine" poster, after all!

Monday, February 22, 2016

Pop 'n Play!

Julia made Ethan a board game for Valentine's Day, and tonight we finally got around to playing it.  It was a heart-filled adventure!

Pop 'n Play!
Kiss: Your true love is giving you a kiss attack!  Go back 4 spaces.
Cupid: Cupid has struck you with an arrow.  Rush to the hospital.  Play again when someone's heart has popped.
Ball: Your stop for a dance!  Go back 2 spaces.  Then act out a dance of your own.

In case you're still confused, Julia provided us with even more instructions.

Pop 'n 'Play
3-6 playes
Ages 4+
INCTUDES: 1 envelope, 2 paper clips, 6 hearts, 6 playing chips, 1 game-board, 1 instructions manual

"Player thinks of a number between 1-10.  If one player guesses the number on they're first 3 tries, they go that many spaces on the board.  If not, the next player gets a try.  When all 3 guesses are wrong, that players heart will pop.  It can come back when player guesses the right number.  Face challenges as you make your way across the board.  First player to 'Win' space wins."

Well, Julia and Ethan laid out the game together, but seeing as it's intended for 3-6 playes, I had to jump on in as well.  We certainly did face a few challenges as we made our way across the board, like the time that all three of us wound up in the hospital after landing on "Cupid."  We weren't really sure how any of us could get back into the game, seeing as nobody's heart could pop unless any of us could take a turn making guesses, and none of us could take a turn because we were all sequestered in the hospital.  So Julia threw in a surprise twist and announced that every player got an invisible "Get out of Hospital Free" card.  We all experienced a popped heart or two (or many), but I'm happy to say that we also all enjoyed a stop at the ball, as well as a kiss attack.  So all in all, it was a successful romp through the Valentiney world of "Pop 'n Play!"  This reviewer gives the game four stars!  I mean hearts.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Book Covers

Recent Book Covers by Madeleine:

"Lila Jenifiyre and Lilly":
"i'm Jenifiyre"
"i'm Lila"
"i'm Lilly"


"Hary Poter and the acsudint spell"

Did the spell acsudintly make Harry blonde with perfect vision?  Or is that another wizard, unhappily enchanting a critter, a pencil, and a flower?

And finally, this next illustration bears no title, but I have taken the liberty of naming it:


Madeleine's keepin' it creepy.  'Sall good.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Late Night for the Girls

Last night, as Ethan and I were heading out to chorus rehearsal, I said my good-byes to the girls.

JULIA: (running over to throw her arms around me) Bye, Mommy!  I loooove you!  Have fun at chorus!
ME: I love you too, honey.  (Calling across the room) Bye, Madeleine.  I love you.  I'll miss you!
MADELEINE: (not taking her eyes off the television) I love you too.  I'll...PROBABLY miss you too.

Turns out it was more than probably.  According to Auntie Shannon, Madeleine sobbed broken-heartedly from the moment she was in bed until 9:30 pm, wailing: "I miss MAMAAAAAAAAAA!"

At one point, Shannon went in to try and calm Madeleine down.

AUNTIE SHANNON: Honey, you need to stop crying because you're going to keep Julia up.
AUNTIE SHANNON: Well, why don't you try reading a book until you calm down enough to get to sleep?
MADELEINE: (through wailing sobs) And get it SOAKING WET???

Auntie Shannon then went into Julia's bedroom to make sure the sobbing wasn't keeping her awake. 

It wasn't the sobbing at all that was keeping Julia awake.

AUNTIE SHANNON: Julia, is Madeleine's crying keeping you up?
JULIA:  (head emerging from under her comforter) Uh...well, I've just been thinking about the MINTZ, so I didn't even really notice her crying.

It was a late night all around.  Luckily, this evening, while I was at swim team with Julia, Madeleine didn't reprise her "I miss MAMAAAAAA!" routine and went right to sleep for Ethan.  I can't do anything about Julia deciding to think about the Mintz, but at least I can guarantee one kid got to bed on time!

Monday, February 15, 2016

Story Pirates Show

Since all of the Rowes are off from work and school for President's Day, we had a fun family outing into Newton to see:

The Story Pirates

It's kind of hard to explain exactly what Story Pirates are without seeing a show, but they are some sort of a mix of comedy troupe, improv group, farcical song and dance ensemble, and children's entertainment.  Needless to say, our kids LOVED it.  After each story skit, during the applause, Madeleine would loudly exclaim, "That was SO FUNNY!"  She even went to far as to make a Tony the Tiger-like announcement during the final applause: "They're GREAT!"

The highlight of the performance was probably the point at which the Story Pirates took story ideas from the audience.  Both Julia and Madeleine raised their hands with eager earnestness every time a call for plot or character ideas was posed to the spectators.  Although Julia didn't get called on, Madeleine had her big chance come to life.

STORY PIRATE ON STAGE: Okay, so the flying alligator is going to pull the tree down to the ground so that Larry the Lion can get free.  How long should this take?
STORY PIRATE WALKING THROUGH THE AUDIENCE: (pointing at Madeleine's fervently raised hand) How long does it take?
MADELEINE: (confidently) One minute.

That was it!  Her big moment to shine.  And she comes up minute?!?

The Story Pirates played it out well, however, pantomiming their push and pull of the tree, with one of them exclaiming afterwards, "Wow, that was a full minute!" Madeleine was thrilled to hear her idea on stage.

To cap off the fun outing, we bought the girls each a Story Pirates tee-shirt, so you may be seeing Julia and Madeleine garbed in a skull and crossbones sometime soon.  Arrrghh, ahoy, mateys!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Fast as a Cheetah

Could this kid possibly be more FULL OF IT??:

Friday, February 12, 2016

Julia's Dream

Julia has a dream to change the world:

"My dream is to stop polution and to help the poor.  Maybe we could start walking to places more, and maybe even bring back covered wagons.  And everyone could donate clothes and food to the poor.  We could do more things by hand instead of using machines from factorys. Also, maybe people who are very welthy can give to the poor.  I will try very hard to stop polution and help the poor!"

If anything, maybe all the car-drivers stuck behind the covered wagons will get fed up enough that they'll decide to get out and walk instead!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Wild Kratts Discussion

Yesterday, during dinner, Julia and Madeleine had trouble seeing eye-to-eye on the subject of the Kratt brothers (from the tv show "Wild Kratts.)  An excerpt of their debate was posted on facebook, but here is the full transcript:

JULIA: I think that Chris and Martin are Americans.
MADELEINE: Julia! They're NOT Americans!
JULIA: Yes they are!
MADELEINE: No, Julia, they're NOT Americans!
ME: (intervening) What do you think they are, Madeleine?

ME: Well, honey, they ARE humans.  But that doesn't mean they're not Americans.  They don't have, like, Australian accents, right?
ME: And they speak with American accents?
JULIA: (butting in) Yes!  They do!
ME: So then they're probably Americans.
MADELEINE: But MAMA.  They didn't live a long, long time ago!
ME: Huh?  Wait, do you know what "Americans" means?  Are you thinking of "Native Americans?"
ME: Well, that's true.  They're not Native Americans.  But "Americans" means people who live in America.  You're an American.  We're all Americans in this house.
MADELEINE: Oh.  I *forgot* that's what it means.  I thought it meant "Native Americans."

 I have so many questions.  First of all, does she not know that there are still Native Americans around today?  Granted, there were a lot MORE of them a long, long time ago, but it's not like the race no longer exists.  And does she not realize that Native Americans are, indeed, human?  It's like she's thinking of them as some prehistoric species that is now extinct, like the dinosaurs (and her grandpas.)  

Sigh.  Just as Julia used to mix up the word "mannequin" (which she called a "loser") and "African American," leading to some unintentionally culturally insensitive exclamations, Madeleine is now proclaiming that Native Americans are not human.  

Open mouth, insert foot.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016


I guess writing "Thias Stories" inspired Madeleine in her authorial ambitions, because today she was back at work, creating an entirely new book.

by Madeleine Rowe

"I was bilt and grat.  the best."

That is definitely one happy looking snowman.  This is going to be a grat, uplifting story, I can tell.

"ho no i got smollr and smollr and..."

Uh-oh.  Or perhaps I should say Ho no.  This is not turning out to be the happy winter story I expected.


Wow.  That sun is SERIOUSLY close to that snowman's head.  I would be screaming for help, too.  I'm surprised it didn't light the snowman on fire.

"and then sping cam"

It looks like sping turned that jolly snowman into a big blue puddle.

"and that was the end of me"

Wow.  Madeleine had to gall to go and KILL the protagonist.

And then we have this little about the author, complete with a "photograph" of Madeleine:

"Madeleine is a cool girl.  She like's to read.  and rit.  she is very creaative she love's everaone.  p.s. it's good."

Monday, February 8, 2016

Thias Storis

The newest addition to the Rowe family library:

Thieas Storis
by  Madeleine Rowe

If the title "These Stories" doesn't grab you right off the bat, I don't know what will.

Chaptr 1: kute bunye

"We wr having a grate - time and then we saw a litl BUNye so we - disdid to mace him uor pet.  and we deckoraytid a box and cept him ther.  it was grater then it - alredy was.  We gave - him - food and we payd with - him OH - NO Wat - shoold - we - name - him.  Oh Oh i - have - an - idea.  howe - about - ooo - kute bunye.  that - is - a - grate - idea."

Chaptr 2: for - you - that's - not - good -
"We wr - just - adouwte - to - giv - kute bunye - his - snak.  and then ooo OH - NO - were - is - kut - bunye.  but we wr just - adouwte - to - crye and then uor perrint's found - him and then we didint and - then we - gave - him his snak.  "'well kid's i - thinck we have - to - go - to bed.'"  so we did.  and then daddy snord so loudly that we coudin't sleep.  in - the morning it was a nice butifl day.  "That's - not - good - for - you" kute bunye was eating a choclit - chip - coocy.  and that is not good for bunye's.  so we stop't him just - in - time!  We wr so luky."

Chaptr 3: frst day of school
"it was icksiding.  today was the frst day of colij!  We also have time beafor we have to fedd kut bunye.  and we sang..."Colij colij we get to go to colij."  We wr a - litl - bit - .. skard.  Wen we got ther....WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!  and wene we got home..we had ivin mor fun."

Wow.  This book covered a whole range of issues, from the dilemma over what to name the bunye to the last-minute life-saving methods that prevented kute bunye from eating a choclit-chip-coocy to the attempt to balance colij life with the feeding and care of kute bunye.  I feel like I've been through a marathon with these characters, especially kute bunye.  Bravo on such a powerhouse of a novel, Madeleine!

Saturday, February 6, 2016


Julia was up before the sun - literally - this morning, so excited was she for the YMCA Districts meet.  In fact, even though I got up at the miserable hour of 6am (on a Saturday! - the things we do for our children...), I found a chipper Julia seated at the dining room table, eating breakfast in her team bathing suit.

This morning's meet held all events for girls in the 9-10 age group.  Julia was one of only 4 girls from our YMCA branch who qualified in this age group, which also made her one essential leg in both relay groups.  In addition to the relays, she swam in the individual 50 yard butterfly, her favorite (and best) stroke.

First off, let me start out by saying that our team was unique in having only four swimmers.  Most of the other YMCA teams had swarms of (really, really fast) swimmers who had qualified for Districts.  So many that one team actually had 5 relay teams in one event.  In addition, the fact that these other teams had so many solid swimmers allowed them to choose the cream of the crop for their "A" relay.  Our team had only one relay, which was automatically our "A" relay, and they were swimming against some really powerful combinations of girls.  So the fact that they didn't place dead last is really pretty remarkable, and furthermore, they wound up placing right in the middle of the overall pack.  Something to be very proud of!

Madeleine felt differently.  The queen of unfiltered criticism was not impressed.  As we watched the medley relay, and watched Julia swim her butterfly leg, close to the pack but not passing anyone, Madeleine declared, "Julia is NOT doing her best."  No matter that Julia actually tied her PR in 50 yard butterfly during that relay.  She didn't win, so in Madeleine's mind she was a loser.

Speaking of winning, Julia's next event was the butterfly, and she was in Heat 1 out of 7.  Typically, the heats go from slowest seed times to fastest.  Julia had the second-to-slowest seed time of all the swimmers.  However, she managed to rise to victory in a number of ways.  #1, she won her heat, securing herself a spot that was NOT second-to-last, #2, she wound up placing 28th out of 38 swimmers, so was in fact 10th-to-last, and #3, she swam a new PR of 44.05 seconds.  She, and her parents, were pleased.  In fact, Julia seemed not to even notice that there were six other heats after her own.

JULIA: Mommy, I won in butterfly!
ME: I saw you win your heat!

Later on, at home

ME: I'm so proud of your swimming today.
JULIA: (beaming) I just can't believe that I came FIRST in butterfly!

Don't worry, Madeleine was sure to spoil the sense of pride.

MADELEINE: Well Julia?  In the one *I* was watching, you came in LAST.
ME: Well, that was in the relay, and she didn't come in last, because there was another swimmer on her team after her, and they came in 5th in their heat.
MADELEINE: Yeah but Mama?  When Julia was swimming, I saw that she was in LAST place.

Madeleine is always good for a morale boost.

Julia's final event was the freestyle relay, and she managed to get her team from last place in their heat to second-to-last, catching and passing a girl in the next lane.  So all in all, the meet was a success and we are proud of our little swimmer!  Even if Madeleine is not.

One thing I am not proud of, however: Julia proved, yet again, that she is not to be trusted taking her shower and changing by herself.  She left her team bathing suit at the Districts pool.  At least she waited until the meet season was over with to lose the one item she actually really kind of needs to swim with the team.

Congrats on making so much improvement this season, Jules!

Friday, February 5, 2016

State Fair

We are currently in the midst of a winter storm in our neck of the woods, but our town happened to be one of the only in the area that did not call a Snow Day.  Julia couldn't be happier, because today was the long-awaited State Fair.  Time to tell the school community about how it all goes DOWN in Arkansas!

Before parents got to view the various dioramas, we were treated to a performance of songs and facts about the 50 states, including the catchy "Fifty Nifty United States," sung by the entire third grade:

Julia was able to work through her nerves in delivering her interesting fact about Arkansas, though you can kind of tell that she couldn't get away from that microphone fast enough:
After the performance, parents were invited into the cafeteria to peruse the dioramas.  Kids and projects were grouped by region of the U.S., and in addition to the individual dioramas, there were collaborative posters about each region.  Julia added her own special touch to the Southeast Region:

And here she is posing proudly by her diorama:

It became very clear to me, during the perusal of the dioramas, that many of the kids had likely had parental help on their projects.  Julia's hanging pieces of poop  stalactites were very clearly the work of a child artist.  And while her diorama may not have been the most artistically impressive of the bunch, I am very proud to know that she put in lots of hard work all on her own!  Hooray for the Fifty Nifty United States!

Thursday, February 4, 2016

The Mouse Book

So, perhaps our unwanted house mouse experience this past fall had a heavy influence on Madeleine, because this is the book she took out from the media center at school today:

"Caring for Your Mouse."

It was a pet care book, and a veeeeery long one at that.  And, of course, Madeleine insisted on reading the entire thing to me for her bedtime story.  I'll tell you, I learned a lot about mice tonight.  I also learned how far my patience can be stretched when the bedtime book is going on foreeeever.

This was the best part, offering an unnecessary elongation of the page we were on:

MADELEINE: (reading) Whiskers also help a mouse to fight-
ME: to "fit."
MADELEINE: Huh?  Fit?  What does that mean?
ME: Like, to fit into something, or through something.
MADELEINE: Huh?  I don't get it.  What do you mean?
ME: Like, so, do you fit in your pajamas?
MADELEINE: (befuddled silence)
ME: Okay.  What does it mean if a mouse can fit through something?
MADELEINE:'s not TOUCHING anything?
ME: Mmm, not really.  Okay.  Here's another example.  Can you fit through the crack underneath your door?
ME: No.  What??  No.  You're telling me you can fit underneath the crack of your door?
ME: Look at your door.  Can you fit underneath the crack between the door and the floor?
MADELEINE: Uh...oh, THAT door?  No.  I can't.
ME: Can a mouse fit under it?
ME: So that's what "fit" means.

I can't even comprehend how she suddenly thinks she doesn't understand the meaning of that word.  And apparently she was thinking of that *other* door under which she can fit. 

The story took so long that I told Madeleine I would only stay and cuddle her for a quick few minutes.  Luckily, she squandered the opportunity further by deciding to yap at me and not fall asleep while I actually was there.

She had really important things to talk about, I guess, like this:

MADELEINE: Mama?  The movie "Minions" should have come out FIRST, because Gru-
ME: Wait, you've seen "Minions?" When?
ME: Aww.  I wanted to rent it sometime and watch it with you!
MADELEINE: I'm sorry, Mama.
ME: (making a pretend sad face)
MADELEINE: Well, look on the bright side, Mama!  You still have two wonderful daughters!

Can't argue with her there.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

The Groundhog

Madeleine's class talked about Groundhog Day today, but Madeleine wasn't buying any of the hocus pocus about the groundhog failing to see his shadow.

MADELEINE: Mama?  At school, they said it would be early spring because the groundhog didn't see his shadow, but I was like, NO!  It's not early spring because of the groundhog.  It's early spring because of GLOBAL WARMING!

Take that, teachers.  Madeleine's dealing you a little dose of reality.

And then there was this discussion.

JULIA: (showing off her haircut that Auntie Shannon gave her)
ME: Your hair looks so cute!
MADELEINE: Aww.  I really want Auntie Shannon to cut me BANGS
AUNTIE SHANNON: Bangs are a big pain to manage, Madeleine. 
JULIA: Yeah, Madeleine, plus if you want to grow them out, you have to have them hanging in your FACE until they're long enough.
MADELEINE: I just really like bangs.
JULIA: How come in the olden days, bangs, like, used to be, like, totally the fashion?
AUNTIE SHANNON: I feel like bangs WEREN'T the fashion in the olden days.
MADELEINE: (amazed) You were alive in the olden days?!?

Yup.  She knows about global warming, but can't understand the concept of Auntie Shannon knowing anything about history without having lived through it.