Vacation End and Heading Home

Well, the Rowes are heading home from TN, but we still got in a 1/2 day of vacationing before heading out.  We went to one if our most-frequented restaurants for breakfast, Flapjack Cafe.  While Julia, Ethan and I have tried more than one different item over the four mornings we ate here, Madeleine stuck steadfastly to her tried-and-true bear pancakes:

For some reason, today her bear pancakes were served well before the rest of us got our meals.  I remarked that Madeleine would be sitting around bored by the time we got our own breakfasts, but I should have known better.  Madeleine launched into a whole narrative with her bear.  His name was Tedeleine.  He really wants to go to Massachusetts.  He's never been there.  He has only been to Tennessee.  So as Madeleine ate him bite by bite, she reassured him that he would travel to MA inside her belly.  And that's not all Tedeleine would get to do.

MADELEINE: You'll get to see what it's liking living underwater when you go in the toilet, Tedeleine!

So, yeah.  She was definitely still eating when the rest of the meals came.

We spent the next few hours in Knoxville, at the McClung Museum of Natural History and Culture:

We enjoyed exhibits on Ancient Egypt, Cherokee history, and Evolution.  Madeleine sat down to watch a video on the history of Native people in Tennessee and the struggle to keep Cherokee culture thriving after colonization and the Trail of Tears.

MADELEINE: Why did they make a video to make us NOT PROUD to be American?
ME: Well, it's important to know the story so we know how hard we need to work to keep the Native American culture alive.

Madeleine later came up with a solution.  "I wanna be the President, so I can just make the rules of, like, NO fighting and wars and just have peace on Earth."

I am 100% behind this future candidate's platform.

We headed to the airport after touring the museum.  Julia packed her Ziploc of ethnic people in our checked suitcase, and Ethan convinced Madeleine to put her ridiculously unnecessary pile of ducks in there too, so this time we got through security without a hitch.  We are all sad to bring our vacation to a close, but happy we got to have such a fun week all together!

Vacation, Day 7

Today is our last full day of vacation, and it was a busy one.  We woke up and hit the road to get breakfast at a French creperie in Knoxville.  Madeleine, who has eaten a crepe exactly once in her lifetime, stubbornly insisted that she HATES crepes and made this grumpy face all through breakfast (which she ate in entirety, BTW):

Afterwards, we drove along the Tennessee Scenic Highway, which took us past some stunning views, into Cumberland Gap National Park area.  We briefly crossed into Virginia, where we used the public restrooms in a campground area, and into Middlesboro, Kentucky, where we stopped for lunch.  The cool part about Middlesboro is that it's a city inside a meteorite crater, so we were surrounded by a ring of mountains.

We took a different, equally scenic route back to our hotel.  Some of the sights from our drives:

Back at our hotel, we spent a few hours at the water park, where Julia faced her nerves and rode on the wild and crazy "Wild Vortex," which begins with a straight vertical drop inside a tube and winds around several loops before shooting the ride out to the bottom.  I was okay with skipping that one!

When it came time for dinner, we Rowes had one of the creepiest, most bizarre experiences ever.  We planned to eat at one of the hotel restaurants, called "The Hidden Trail." The hotel is made up of two resorts, across a busy street from each other.  The restaurant we were planning to try was in the resort across the street.  We had seen people taking a hotel shuttle to and from the other resort, but we figured we would just walk the short distance.

When we got across the street, we had to tread up a steep hill, at the top of which was a parking garage.  There was a cacophony of shrieking sounds coming from inside the garage; my guess is that it was birds, but it sounded like a screaming banshee or howler monkeys killing each other violently.  There was a random car or two parked within the garage, but otherwise no sign of humans.  There appeared to be no way out of the parking garage except through a door with unspecific markings.  The door opened into a stairwell, but there was no clear indication of where to go to get to the restaurant.

At this point, Julia became legitimately FREAKED OUT.

JULIA: (in rising panic) I don't want to go in there!!

We reassured her that it was fine, and we all ascended a flight of stairs and came out on the next floor of the parking garage.  Again, two or three random cars were parked in the garage.  Upon exiting the garage, we came to an outdoor parking lot full of cars.  We even saw some signs of human life; far ahead of us, two people dressed all in black were walking towards the resort building.  Unfortunately, they were no longer in sight as we got closer to the building, as if they had vanished into thin air.  We walked by the resort's water park, which, unlike the one at our building, was completely abandoned with no water running.

ETHAN: (turning back to me) This is like a scene from "The Walking Dead."
ME: Uh...yeah, I know.

We entered the main building and approached the hotel's front desk.  Loud music was playing over the speakers, but not a single person was behind the desk.  We made our own way over to the hotel restaurant, which had a chalkboard sign saying "Please wait to be seated" beside a big sign proclaiming: "CLOSED."

Okay then.  Mission "Hidden Trail" was a bust.  Where were all the people??  How were there cars in the lot if everything was closed?  And where does the shuttle actually take people if not to this resort??

We had to walk back through the Screaming Banshee parking lot and down the creepy stairwell again, and at this point, Julia was losing her poop with terror.

JULIA: That hotel gave me a definite vibe of clowns.  Hang on.  NO!  I don't want to go through the parking garage again!  It sounds like clowns are MURDERING PEOPLE in there!!
MADELEINE: (reasonably) No, it sounds like half-human half-kookaburra hybrids are shrieking because some person is sticking a knife up their throats, and monkeys are cheering, Julia.

We made it back to our non-haunted side of the street in one piece and decided to just re-visit one of the restaurants we liked best on our trip.  And, hey, we had a little spine-tingling adventure before dinner, which made the night extra exciting!

Vacation Day 6

We had a busy day in Tennessee, hitting attractions in both Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge.  But first, we sat down to breakfast in one of our hotel restaurants.  While we awaited our food, Madeleine gave everyone in the fill a new name.

MADELEINE: Mommy.  You're Mister.  Julia is Mister Mister.  Daddy is Mrs. Mouth.
JULIA: (snapping to attention mid-conversation with Ethan) I'm Mrs. Mouth?
ME: No.  Daddy is Mrs. Mouth.  You're Mister Mister.  I'm Mister.

Julia and Ethan burst into laughter upon hearing this.

MADELEINE: (leaning in conspiratorially) And I'm Butt!

Mrs. Mouth, Mister, Mister Mister, and Butt headed up to Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg, where we saw all kinds of sea life:

We even got to ride a glass-bottomed boat to observe the sea life below us!

After the Aquarium, we headed to MagiQuest in Pigeon Forge, where we engaged in a magic-themed Escape Room:

We had to give ourselves Magi Names when we registered.  Mine was Elf.  Madeleine was Maddog.  Julia and Ethan were Mister Mister and Mrs. Mouth, respectively.  We didn't manage to complete each quest, but we all had fun!  Tomorrow is our last full day, so we will see what adventures lie in store!

Vacation Days 4 and 5

Yesterday, we Rowes visited Wonderworks, an interactive museum in Pigeon Forge.  This distinctive building appears as an upside-down structure:

Inside, we got to explore all kinds of phenomena, from the sensations of an earthquake to immersing our hands in ice cold water to feel how icy the ocean was when the Titanic sank to gusts of 74 mph hurricane winds.  During the hurricane experience, Madeleine's body was hit so hard that her dress blew up around her waist, leaving me to grab the fabric as fast as I could and hold it back down over her undies.  We also got to explore a gallery of Optical Illusions, try out simple machines like pulleys, and take part in apace-themed attractions.

Julia and Madeleine have such strong arm muscles from all their swimming that the challenge of the pulleys was a piece of cake for them.  No matter how great or little mechanical advantage the various pulleys had, the girls were able to lift themselves up well off the ground:

Madeleine especially loved the space area. Not only could she and Julia pose as astronauts:

but we got to go on the Astronaut Trainer ride, which spun us upside down and every which way to simulate zero gravity.

After Wonderworks, we got dinner in one of the heavily touristy areas of town, meaning we had to park a significant walk away from the restaurant.  After we had made the trek back to the car, Julia came to a horrifying realization

JULIA: Oh my God!  I left my retainer at the restaurant!
ME: Where? On the table?
JULIA: On my napkin, under my kids' menu.

Julia and I began the long walk back, and I warned her that there was a chance the retainer had been thrown away when the table was cleared.  Julia's response was to begin sobbing, even as we sped-walked back to the restaurant.  Thank the Lord that the busboy had spitted spi retainer and brought it to the front desk.  Disaster narrowly averted!!

We are spending today enjoying the hotel resort, which has both indoor and outdoor water parks, an indoor arcade, and Adventure Center.  The girls hit the arcade first, where Madeleine won
an unreasonable amount of ducks:

After breakfast, they tried out the Ropes Course in the Adventure Center:

Now we're hanging at the outdoor water park, cooling off in the 90 degree heat.  After all the driving we've done lately, it's nice to have a day staying put at our hotel!  'Til later!

Vacation Day 3

Today we drove into the Smoky Mountain National Forest and enjoyed the stunning scenery:

We parked at Clingman's Dome and spent the afternoon hiking.  Our first endeavor was a half mile up to the Observation Tower.  It had been Madeleine's choice to start our journey by heading up there, but after several minutes of steep uphill, she was having second thoughts.

MADELEINE: Ugh, this is TIRING!
ME: You were the one who wanted to go up here.
MADELEINE: Yeah, but now I changed my mind!

She stuck it out, however, and it was worth the effort once we got to see the views from the top:

After descending the half mile, we embarked on a 2.2 mile hike through the woods.  The first 1.1 miles were a continuous downhill, which began to wreak havoc on my knees.  Madeleine gave me words of encouragement as we made our way down.

MADELEINE: You're getting better at doing this, Mommy!
ME: Thanks.
MADELEINE: It's just Ninja skills.

Throughout the entirety of our hike, Madeleine did not stop talking for one second.  I would like to thank her for keeping ususafe from bears and any other creatures who might have bern scared off by thevsound of humans.s She alternated between narrating every step of the journey and describing the various rules of Ninja moves, which she has mastered, thanks to her time playing on the big rock at her school playground.  "This is EASY level," she would announce, when she felt the trail was not up to her Ninja move standards.  "It's hard level for you, though, Mommy.'

Because of my achy knee, Ethan offered for us to turn back early, but I declined, since the kids were enjoying themselves so much.

MADELEINE: It's okay, Mommy.  We can go back if you want.  I'm certain it will be just as fun, maybe even MORE fun, going the other way!

Nevertheless, I persisted.

When we got to the official trail turning point, I led the way on the ascent.

MADELEINE: Can I go behind you, Mommy?
ME: Sure.
JULIA: No, can I go behind Mommy?
MADELEINE: But then I'll be THIRD, and I was already third on the way down!
JULIA: But I don't want to go behind Madeleine!  She wipes out too much!

As if on cue, Madeleine promptly wiped out.

We settled on an order of Julia, me, Madeleine, Ethan.  Madeleine seemingly did not care if she was stuck in third place again, as long as she got to go directly behind me.  So all was well.

After a day of activity, I think we are all going to sleep well tonight!

Vacation: Days 1 and 2

Well, the Rowes are down in Tennessee for a family vacation, and we have had a day and a half of fun.  Getting here was a bit more stressful than we had hoped for, however!  To begin with, one of our carry-ons got flagged for a more extensive search at security.  I had been on guard because I had a container of non-dairy creamer in my purse.  I thought there was a chance a cylinder of white powder might be deemed suspicious, but once it went through the X-ray machine and down towards the collection area, I breathed a sigh of relief.  Immediately afterwards, Julia's backpack went through and was sent to the suspicious side of the moving belt.  We had to wait for all other suspicious bags that were in line before Julia's to be checked, so it was awhile before the guard began rifling through hers.

Here is what the offending item was:

Julia's collection of people, sold by ethnicity.  She has the Native American family, Caucasian family, Hispanic family, and so forth.

The guard turned the Ziploc bag of people over and over with a look of bafflement on his face.

GUARD: Where did you get these??
ME: Uh, Lakeshore Learning?
GUARD: (shrugging) Okay.  Have fun with them. (Putting them back in Julia's backpack and handing the backpack to us.)

The next snag in our travel was the fact that our first flight took off over a half hour behind schedule.  We wound up landing in Atlanta with 15-20 minutes to catch our connecting flight to Knoxville, and we needed to get to a gate three terminals away.  We took the train across the three terminals, then discovered our gate was one of the furthest ones from the train stop.

ME: We have to run!
ALL OF US: (running like idiots in flip-flops and backpacks through the airport.)

We arrived at the gate frantic and panting, only to discover our flight hadn't even started boarding.  Oh.  Hi everyone.  We weren't just sprinting like maniacs for no reason.

So all worked out and we spent the afternoon at the water park at our hotel:

In the evening, due to the fact that nothing but a curtain separates the living area from the sleeping area, Ethan and I watched a TV show on his computer with one earphone each:

Today we went to the zoo in Knoxville, and we had so much fun that we spent almost the entire day there!  Here are some of the highlights:

We we're so pooped after a full day of walking, exploring, and sunshine that we came back to the hotel so we could all lie down in bed for an hour before heading out to dinner!  We will see what adventures tomorrow has in store!

Sword-Fight

MADELEINE: Who wants to have a sword fight?
JULIA: I'll have a sword fight!
MADELEINE: Okay.  And Julia?  If my sword isn't in the air, aim for my SHIELD.
JULIA: I thought we're supposed to hit our swords against each other, not hit each OTHER.
MADELEINE: Uh, yeah.

(clacking sound as plastic rods hit against each other)

MADELEINE: Ow!  Ow!! 
JULIA: Oh!
MADELEINE: Ow!  Hang on a minute.  (scampering off to her bedroom and re-emerging a few minutes later.)
JULIA: You're wearing GLOVES?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  So I don't hurt my hands.  Okay.  Let's go!

(clacking sounds as plastic rods hit against each other)

MADELEINE: Ow!
JULIA: Ow!
MADELEINE: Wait, just - OW!
JULIA: Oh - whoops - OW!
ME: Oooooookay, sword-fighting time is over!  Put everything away!  We're ALL done with that now!

No major injuries reported.  Here is Madeleine's fool-proof sword-fighitng outfit:

Bike helmet, cotton gloves, plastic play-school teacher wand, and paper-plate shield.  INVINCIBILITY.

Madeleine's Spells

Madeleine decided to become a magician this morning, creating spells and reciting them while holding her plastic wand.  It appears that in order for a spell to be successful, it must consist of a rhyming couplet.  According to Madeleine, as long as you recite this couplet while holding the plastic wand, the spell will work!

Madeleine's first spell magically transformed our surroundings from Massachusetts to Utah.  Surprisingly, Utah looks EXACTLY LIKE our backyard in Massachusetts.  I would have had no idea that our location had switched states if Madeleine hadn't told me!

Here's the magic spell she used:

Hate the date? 

Change the state!

And voila!  We were no longer in Massachusetts.  

Madeleine took some magical steps to change our political landscape as well.

It isn't Lent

But please change the President!

Madeleine informs me that Donald Trump is no longer president.  I can't believe it was that easy to replace him! We should have done this a year ago!

Furthermore, Democrats have a HUGE leg up in the next election:

I'll make you a note

if you make Republicans not vote!

Madeleine also asked around to find out what sorts of wishes we in the Rowe household had, so that she could come up with appropriate spells.

MADELEINE: Okay, Mommy, Julia, what do you wish for?

ME: Uh...no more poverty.

JULIA: No more clowns!

I got my wish with this spell:

There will be open doors

if you help the poor!

And for Julia, Madeleine recited:

There's no need to frown
If you banish clowns!

Phew!  I am SO glad there are no more clowns.  Now Julia no longer has a reason to come into our bedroom a million times at night to tell us she's scared aboya clowns!

Championship Meet

Yesterday was the much-anticipated Regional Championships for the Summer Suburban Swim League.  Julia could not have been more excited.  She had trouble falling asleep because she was so looking forward to the morning, and she wound up waking up for the day at 4:30 am.  She then proceeded to follow Ethan and I around when we awoke at 6, chattering manically at us about every thought that crossed her mind.  Madeleine, meanwhile, was still asleep shortly before we needed to leave for the meet, and when I went into her room to wake her up, she groaned, "I don't WANNA get uuuuuuup!"

Happily, we made it out the door on time and to the meet with Madeleine much more energized than she'd felt at her wake-up call.  Julia fought me on staying still for two seconds to allow me a photo of her and her sister, but I finally pinned her down after warm-ups:

The preliminary meet is always held in the morning, then the top six swimmers in each event advance to finals, which is held in the afternoon.  Madeleine made finals in her two events, the 25 yard butterfly and the 25 yard freestyle, and her freestyle relay advanced to finals as well.  Julia made finals in her 50 yard butterfly, was in 7th place, and therefore an alternate, in her 50 yard breast stroke, and her freestyle relay also advanced to finals.  Great, right?  Except for the fact that the overcast sky and light drizzle turned into a downright torrential downpour during the final two events of the preliminaries.  I was on deck as a timer and got utterly soaked, even through my (supposedly) water-proof raincoat.  When I returned to the team's tents, this is what I saw:

And this is what I heard: two verge-of-tears panic-induced kids, both of them mine, wailing about how scared they were and how much they wanted to go home. 

Luckily, they didn't have a chance to wail for long; in an effort to expedite the start of finals, the officials decided to call the mid-day round of warm-ups immediately after the last heat of prelims ended.  Usually there is an hour-long break, in which families and swimmers can get lunch and rest a bit, but instead, the finals were slated to begin within the next 15-20 minutes.  I took my girls to the locker room to warm up their bodies in a hot shower, and then watched them in the pool with their team as rain pelted the water so hard it looked like someone was throwing pebbles into the pool. 

The conditions had calmed a bit by the time Madeleine was up to swim her 25 yard fly.  She had finished 3rd in the prelims, but somehow managed to out-touch the other five swimmers and became the first place finisher and winner of the event!  Julia's buttefly finals followed soon after, and she finished in 4th place, the only 11 year old against five 12-year-olds.  Madeleine then came in 2nd place overall in freestyle, and her relay finished 3rd, while Julia's relay finished 4th.  It was a successful day overall, despite the mid-meet freakout and the soaking misery that the spectators and swimmers endured.  Julia forgot all about her prior panic and announced cheerily throughout the rest of the day, "I had SO MUCH FUN at the meet!"  Clearly, all it takes is winning a few medals to push thoughts of the weather apocalypse to the back of her mind.

Madeleine was given the team mascot, a balloon shark, to take home.  She named him Henry:

He didn't last very long though.  Here he is this morning:

RIP, Henry.  We'll always have that car ride home from the meet in our memories.

BTW, if you look closely, you can see that Madeleine attempted to patch the hole in Henry with postage stamps, because she "didn't feel like going downstairs to get the tape."  She has since payed her very annoyed mother back for the cost of wasting three of our stamps on a shark balloon.

Congrats, girls, on bravely going forth and swimming your best, despite the most unideal of conditions!

Hollywood Swimmer

This summer, because our town's pool is under renovation, the summer swim team has had to practice in several various nearby pools.  One such pool is in Brookline, and this facility clearly has a rich history.  In the lobby of the pool building hang black-and-white photos from the earliest days of swim team and swim lessons at this aquatic center.  Madeleine came across this picture today:

MADELEINE: Hey Mommy!  I think one of those girls is in "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants."  The one under the coach's RIGHT arm.
ME: Hmm.  You think she's one of the actresses from that movie?
MADELEINE: Well, it LOOKS just like her.
ME: Which character does she look like?
MADELEINE: The one who plays Bailey.  I think it IS her!


The actress who plays Bailey is named Jenna Boyd, grew up in Texas, and was born in 1993, well after the above photo was taken.  But hey, maybe they're long-lost relatives or something.  What do you think?