Say What?

Actual things that have been uttered, in completely seriousness, around the Rowe household today.


#1
MADELEINE: So Mama, do you want to be in front or in back?
ME: Honey, go sit down.  You need to drink your milk.  We're not doing a conga line right now.
MADELEINE: (crest-fallen)

#2
MADELEINE: (admiring her hardened clay snowman that she made at school) Mama.  When I look at my snowman, he looks SO delicious, I just want to EAT him.
ME: You can't eat him though, honey.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  He's made of DOUGH. The teachers said.
ME: Not the kind of dough you can really eat. 
MADELEINE:  Actually.  Mama.  It wasn't DOUGH.  It was...
ME: Clay?
MADELEINE: (brightly) Oh!  Yes!  It's made of CLAY.
ME: Yeah, you definitely can't eat clay. It wouldn't be good for you.
MADELEINE: (crest-fallen)

#3
MADELEINE: Mama!  This is for you.  I made this picture for you at school!  And Mama. Will you look at it RIGHT NOW?
ME: Sure.  (Unrolling the piece of paper to look at this):

ME: Oooh!  It's beautiful!
MADELEINE: (delighted) It's Elsa POOPING!
ME: Oh.  Great.
MADELEINE: Oh, and Mama?  On the picture, smell the poop.
ME: Mmm.  It smells good.
MADELEINE: Yup.  Smells like gingerbread!


#4
MADELEINE: I'm gonna put you riiiight here so I can hold the remotes.
ME: Okay.
MADELEINE: I was talking to the apple.
ME: Oh.  Sorry.