Morning Delays

It's one of those days, all right.

These are the kind of impediments that have kept anything from happening in a timely matter.


MADELEINE: (coming into my bedroom upon waking up, wiggling around doing the potty dance) Mama?
ME: Do you need to go potty?
MADELEINE: Yes! I do!  That's why I was wiggling around so much when I was brushing my teeth!
ME: Okay, well go potty then!
MADELEINE: (continuing to wiggle) Uh, Mama, just to tell you: I asked Lilly...uh, Mama.  Just to tell you: I...I...I-
ME: Go potty, honey.
MADELEINE: Mama.  Just to tell you: I asked Lilly about a sleepover, and she said she's FINE with it.
ME: Okay, well maybe one day when you're bigger you can have a friend sleep over.  Now quick, go potty!
MADELEINE: And Mama?  Maybe one time we can have a party and me and Julia can BOTH have friends sleep over!
ME: Yeah, maybe.  Go get on that potty!
MADELEINE: (holding up two fingers) And we can each have THREE friends sleep over!
ME: Okay!  It's a plan.  Go potty, honey!
MADELEINE: (slowly walking backwards towards the bathroom, then halting) Wait.  Mama.  Why did I only hold up TWO fingers if I said THREE friends?!?
ME: I don't know, but go get your bum on that potty!


So, if it took that much effort just to get the morning peeing done with, you can imagine how hard it was to get the kids out the door.

ME: Julia, come on, we have to leave for school.
JULIA: But Mommy!  I don't even have SOCKS on!
ME: Well, go get some.  Quickly.
JULIA: Mommy, how come you didn't pick me out any SOCKS?
ME: Well, aren't you old enough to pick your own socks?
JULIA: But MOMMY!  You never pick out socks for me!  How come you never pick them OUT?
ME: Because I'm a terrible mom, I guess.
MADELEINE: (concerned) You're NOT a terrible mom!  (crawling over to climb in my lap, hindering me from continuing to gather Julia's school stuff.)
JULIA: (coming back with her socks, and sitting morosely by the shoe bin.)  Mommy, what SHOES should I wear?
ME: Whichever ones you want, honey.
JULIA: But I don't KNOW which ones to wear!  I *can't* wear my boots with these kinds of PANTS you picked out for me.
ME: Sure you can. They're called boot-leg pants, which means there's room to fit them over your boots.
JULIA: But I don't LIKE wearing my pants OVER my boots.  I like tucking them IN to my boots.
ME: Okay, then wear your sneakers.
JULIA: But I don't WANT to wear my sneakers.
ME: So wear your boots.
JULIA: I *can't.*
ME: Honey, just pick a pair of shoes and put them on.
JULIA: (morosely and veeeery slowly putting on her sneakers.)
ME: Okay, come on, let's go!
JULIA: WAIT!  Mommy!  I don't even have my hat and gloves on!
ME: Honey, I'm driving you, because it's -2 degrees.
JULIA: But I NEED my hat and gloves!
ME: You can put them on in the car.
JULIA: But Mommy!  Why did you not get my hat and gloves out??  You ALWAYS get them out for me.
ME: Julia.  I'm trying to make sure I don't get you to school late.  Can we just get into the car?
JULIA: (putting on her coat as slowly as possible, all the while looking as if she's being unfairly punished)

Luckily, we actually made it on time, no thanks to either kid.  I think we're still living in winter vacation mode right now, and we need to re-adjust to the idea of actually needing to be somewhere in the mornings.

As I mentioned above, it is literally freezing today.  The temperatures have now bumped themselves up to a comfy six degrees, so we're all in great moods over here!  Last night, when Auntie Shannon got home from work, she immediately announced: "I'm moving to Florida."

I was on my way out to Julia's swim team practice, and I offered Madeleine the option to stay home with Auntie Shannon instead of tagging along.

MADELEINE: But Auntie Shannon? Can you NOT go to Florida until after Mommy gets back?

I vote that we all move to Florida.  Right now.  Enough with winter!  Enough with failing my daughter miserably by not taking her hat and gloves out for her!  Enough with picking out pants that cause the conundrum over what shoes to wear.  It's going to be flip flops and sunglasses from here on out!