Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Infamous Lip Trumpet

Madeleine has recently reverted back to an old (extremely annoying) habit: a compulsive lip trumpeting that is sometimes voiced (making a brrrrpt!) sound, sometimes unvoiced (making a nice old farting sound.)  She frequently intersperses this lip trumpeting with a short humming noise, making her sound like some sort of old machine.  "Brrrrpt.  Mmmm.  Brrrpt."

The need to obsessively lip trumpet sometimes undercuts the seriousness of things she's saying.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Do we have any Gila Monsters around where WE live?
ME: No, they don't live anywhere near here.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  I do know SOMETHING around here that can make you die.  Brrrpt.  Mmmm.  Brrrrpt.  SMOKE STICKS.
ME: Cigarettes?  Yeah, that's true.  But you don't need to worry about gila monsters.


Or:

ME: Madeleine, what are you most thankful for this Thanksgiving?
MADELEINE: Mommy.  (thoughtful) And Daddy.  And Julia.  And Yiayia.  And Shannon and Caitlyn.  Brrrpt.  Mmmm.  Brrrpt.  And of COURSE, Nana and Gramps!


Or:

MADELEINE: (whining shrilly from the play basement)
ME: What's the matter?
MADELEINE: (continuing to whine and throwing her shirt around in anger)
ME: (sternly) Madeleine.  If you need HELP getting your shirt on, you know what to do.  USE YOUR WORDS.  Don't just sit there whining and throwing your shirt.
MADELEINE: (looking chagrined)
ME: You need to use your words.  (beginning to help her with her shirt)
MADELEINE: (guiltily) Next time.  Brrrpt.  Mmmm.  Brrrpt.  Next time I will, Mama.


Of course, a lot of the time, even without the lip trumpet noises, what Madeleine's taking about is a big ridiculous pile of nonsense anyway.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Which part is the LOWEST in our house?
ME: The basement.
MADELEINE: No.  Mama.  Which part is the LOWEST.
ME: I just told you.  The basement.
MADELEINE: No.  Mama.  I mean PLUS the basement.  Which is the lowest PLUS the basement?
ME: Well, the lowest part of our house is the basement.
MADELEINE: No, Mama.  Which is the lowest PLUS the basement?
ME: Well, not counting the basement, the lowest part of our house is probably the landing by the front door.
MADELEINE: No, but Mama.  What WINDOWS can you jump out of?

Why on earth is my child thinking about jumping out of windows?!?

I guess the only reason I can come up with is Brrrrpt.  Mmmm.  Brrrpt.

1 comment:

  1. It was actually slightly curbed this afternoon. Although it required me shoving my entire finger into her mouth every time she did it...so that might not be ideal.

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