Mind-Reading

One of my many jobs as a parent is that of Mind-Reader.  Both girls frequently tell me about things that happened at school, things they've read, or things other people have said to them, without providing the necessary background information.  Thankfully, I am an expert at putting the pieces together on my own, having grown quite experienced with the random-association that my children tend to do. 

Some examples:
#1
MADELEINE: Mama?  Do you know that when it was October ONE, what all the kids thought it was?
ME: What?
MADELEINE: (delighted) SEPTEMBER!
ME: Ohhh, so when you were doing calendar at school, all the kids thought the month was still September?
MADELEINE: Yes!
ME: Did you think it was still September?
MADELEINE: No.  Because I read that it was "O."
ME: Oh, so you noticed that the month began with "O" instead of "S" so you knew it must be a new month?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  And my teacher said "It's not October tenth, it's not October fifteenth, it's October FIRST!"

Apparently that whole calendar ordeal really stuck out to Madeleine, seeing as she's mentioning it to me on November 10.  I guess the change from October to November during school calendar wasn't nearly as life-changing for her.


#2
JULIA: (coming to greet me in the hallway upon me first exiting my bedroom this morning) Mom?  You know what?  This time, I actually WANTED to read the black words, because it was about what you were telling me about!


(I mean, I know the above goes without any need for further clarification, but in my morning stupor, I decided to delve for more details)

ME: What thing was I telling you about?
JULIA: Mmm...I don't remember what it's CALLED, but you were telling me about it on the way home from church.
ME: Can you tell me anything about it, even if you don't remember what it's called?
JULIA: Mmm...well, it's hard to explain.  But I know the person's name was Martin Luther!
ME: The Protestant Reformation?
JULIA: Yes!

And suddenly I knew exactly what "black words" Julia meant.  The historical side-note pages in the "Who Was" books appear in a black, Comic Sans-y font:

Mystery solved, first thing in the morning and all!  BAM!  This mama knows how to get it DONE!


#3
MADELEINE: Mama?  We've been in our new house for a long time so...so...so...so...
ME: So you're used to it?
MADELEINE: So...it doesn't feel like we MOVED.
ME: It feels like it's just our regular home now?
MADELEINE: Yeah.
ME: That's good.
MADELEINE: What's good, Mama?
ME: That it doesn't feel like a strange new place.
MADELEINE: Mama.  You said "strange new place."
ME: Right.  It doesn't feel like a strange new place.
MADELEINE: No, Mama.  You said "A strange new place."
ME: I know.
MADELEINE No.  Mama.  You said "A strange."

ME: Right.  It doesn't feel like a strange new place.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  You said "STRANGE."
ME: Because it doesn't feel like someplace unfamiliar anymore.

After my success with Julia's black words mystery, I never could quite crack this one of Madeleine's.  I can't exactly grasp what she objected to in my saying "a strange new place," but at least once I reworded it to "unfamiliar," she found my statement acceptable.


And finally:

#4
MADELEINE: Mama.  I had a dream that I was wearing those kinds of gloves with no FINGERS like Julia has, EPSEPT mine had CHICKS on them.
ME: Oh, really?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  (thoughtful) But Mama.  WAS I dreaming?
ME: Well, probably, since you don't really have fingerless gloves with chicks on them.
MADELEINE: Because Mama.  I don't know if I was dreaming about it or if my eyes were OPEN.

That's right, folks.  My kids even expect me to get inside their subconsious mind to let them know whether or not they were dreaming or thinking.  This is ONE TOUGH JOB all right.  The powers of mental telepathy are only one of the many superpowers my kids expect their mother to have.  All I can say is these kids make sure to keep me on my toes, every moment of the day!