The Winners Are...

The girls had some note-worthy remarks throughout the day today.  I present to you the award-winning comments in each category:

Most ridiculous way to ask me for something:

#1
MADELEINE: Mama?  I'm STILL thirsty.  So please may you get me a drink?

#2
JULIA: (sweetly) Mommy?  If you WANT, if you'd like to, can you do me a Mad Libs?

Oh, yes, I want, I want!  How kind of her to offer for me to do something for her.


Best innocent object getting blamed for a kid's frustration:

MADELEINE: (at the piano) UGH! 
ME: What's wrong, honey?
MADELEINE: I'm trying to play my SCALE with both hands!
ME: And you're having trouble?
MADELEINE: Yes.  (scowling) Because...the piano is MEAN!

I hate it when the piano is mean.  What a jerk.


Genius of the year award:

#1
JULIA: (while doing a celebrity word search) Oh!  Wait, Mommy.  I think I know who this is!  So, I know Mark Twain was a famous person, so is this his wife?  (pointing to the name "Shania Twain.")

Well, they're only separated by, like, 130 years, so I can see how she would think they might be husband and wife. 

#2
MADELEINE: Mama?  There used to be an ANIMAL in the tub, but I forget what it was called.
ETHAN:  A centipede.
MADELEINE: Oh yeah!  Mama, there used to be a CENTIPEE in the tub.
ME: A centipede is a bug.
MADELEINE: A bug??  A centipee?  It's a BUG?
ME: Yeah, it's an insect.
MADELEINE: (brightly) Oh!  I thought it was an ANIMAL.
ETHAN: It is, honey.  It's an insect.
MADELEINE: (staring in blank befuddlement)

I wonder if the centipee has chicken pops.


Most creative description of what DIDN'T happen to a lost object:

MADELEINE: (bemoaning her missing piano book)  I wonder where it WENT.  I had it on the piano.
ME: I know, honey.
MADELEINE: It COULDN'T have just WALKED away!

Apparently this description wasn't good enough for Madeleine, because she decided to become more elaborate.

MADELEINE: It couldn't just...go into a RIVER and then...at night a STORM comes...and...and...and it goes into a WATERFALL.

True.  I *highly* doubt that's what happened to her piano book.


Most ambitious desire:

JULIA: Mommy?  Next time you buy paper, can you buy ONE pack for Madeleine and one pack for me?
ME: Uh...sure.
JULIA: Yeah.  Because I'd really like to write, like, a HARRY POTTER-length book sometime.

I can't wait to try and staple that together.

And finally:
Most random comment:

MADELEINE: (after several minutes of silence as we lay snuggling at bedtime) Mama?  I've ATEN a cooked mushroom before.
ME: You have?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  A COOKED one.  So...I've aten a mushroom.  (thoughtful silence) It was brown.
ME: Oh.  Okay.
MADELEINE: (lapsing back into quiet and falling asleep shortly thereafter.)


What sorts of wacky words will tomorrow bring?  Stay tuned!