The Bathroom and What Happened In It

So, after a ridiculous series of bungled attempts to get our new bathroom vanity delivered and installed, we finally have it up and running, as of this morning.  It looks like this:

Of course, because we have only one bathroom, I had been holding my pee with greater and greater desperation as the plumber completed his job.  In fact, when he asked for a dustpan to sweep up the sawdust and debris from the removal of our old vanity, I hurriedly assured him I would deal with the mess.  As soon as he was out of there, I ran into the bathroom and attempted to simultaneously use the toilet (which you can see in the corner of the above picture) and admire our new vanity.

Apparently I am incapable of doing both things at once.  I wondered what on earth I felt spattering my feet, when I looked down to see that I wasn't seated well enough on the toilet seat and was in fact peeing OVER the seat edge and all over the floor, and, humiliatingly, my own feet.

My sudden exclamation of "Oh my God!" alerted the whole household to the fact that something was amiss in the bathroom.

JULIA AND AUNTIE SHANNON: (in alarm) What's wrong?!?
ME: Uh, nothing, I just peed on the floor by accident.

Yeah, so that was my shining moment of the day.  Little did I know it was about to get better!:

Julia decided to tell her swim teacher what had happened.  Like, apropos of NOTHING, she just decided to announce, "My mom peed on the floor today!"  What's even more awesome is that the lifeguard was not alone, but instead in the company of other pool staff.  Julia gaily told me, "I just told them you peed on the floor today!" as we were exiting the pool after Free Swim. 

Wow.  I am SO GLAD that everyone knows about my little misadventure.  In fact, in case Julia has *forgotten* to tell anyone else, here I am blogging about it: I PEED ON THE FLOOR AND ON MY FOOT TODAY.

I'm so classy.

Now, I know, we all have our little embarrassing bathroom failures from time to time.  Even Madeleine, who is, at long last, pretty much past the potty-accident phase, has a few slip-ups. 

Like the one she had earlier this week.  She had an "underwear problem."  By which I mean:

MADELEINE: Mamaaaa!  I have an underweeeear problem!
ME: What is it?
MADELEINE: Uh, look. (pointing to her underwear, on the floor, with a big plop of poop inside them.)
ME: (incredulous) You pooped in your underwear??
MADELEINE: (non-commitally) Uh, I guess so.

I just LOVE it when people leave poop-filled undies on the floor for me to pick up and deal with.  That way, we ALL get to share!  Their underwear problem becomes MY underwear problem!

I don't know which is the better experience: cleaning up Madeleine's "underwear problem," or peeing all over my foot and having Julia tell young adults that I barely know ALL about it.