More Books!

Julia was hard at work on her third book of the Lydia series today, "Merry Christmas, Lydia."  In fact, she got into such a writing frenzy that she managed to compose her LONGEST CHAPTER EVER!

JULIA: Mom!  Mom!  Let me show you how long the last chapter is.

ME: Okay.  How long?

JULIA: Wait.  You have to watch.  I'm gonna show you.  So.  It's this page, and this page, (turning) and this page and this page, (turning) and this page and this page, (turning) and this page and this page, (turning) and this page and this page, (turning) and this page and this page, (turning) and this page and this page, (turning) and this page and THIS page.

ME: Wow!  That's sixteen pages!

JULIA: I know it's sixteen pages.  I already COUNTED them!

Apparently just *telling* me her chapter was sixteen pages long was not nearly as exciting as showing me each individual page so I could literally see the chapter's length.  Way to go, Jules!  Sixteen hand-written pages in a spiral-bound notebook: that's no slacker feat!

Madeleine has continued with her illustrated pages, as well.  I took a good guess as to what was going on in each drawing before having Madeleine give me the formal explanation.

My guess: It's a clown, all decked out for a parade.  Or trick-or-treating.  Or some such foolery.

MADELEINE: Okay.  So, it's Kit.  She's on her bus.  She gets to be the LEADER of the cheer-leaders.

Oh.  I guess this is still tying back into the one random page of her "Julia Tells the Truth" book, in which Kit and her famous cheerleader mother are hard at work passing on the cheer-leading tradition.  Clearly they succeeded!  Kit is the LEADER of the cheer-leaders now!

My guess: some spotted leper is sitting at a table while the angel of death hovers in the sky just above.

MADELEINE: So, um, Kit's working on the piano she also gets to do.  And the little girl fairy up there is sprinkling PIXIE DUST in Kit's hair.  Even though she's being a BUTTERFLY.  And down here is Kit.  She's trying to play on the piano, but she STARTLED her by having the pixie dust in her hair.

Oh.  That's what I meant.  Pixie, angel of death, leper, Kit with inexplicable spots on her head, whatever.

My guess: A little girl sees a ghost coming out of a door and screams "AAAAAHHHH!"  It also looks like she either has ghosts in a thought bubble, or there is a conglomeration of ghosts floating right above her head.

MADELEINE: So, um, in this picture, so, like, um, so, like, you see THAT thing?  That's a ghost lying in her BED.  And Kit SCREAMS.  She's thinking about a ghost!

All right!  I'm giving myself a congratulatory pat on the back for getting so close to the REAL story shown in this illustration.

My guess: An O-mouth ghost is slowly floating away from a bunch of falling pumpkins that threaten to roll over him.  Except that they would probably just roll THROUGH him, right?

MADELEINE: Um, so it's like...it's a picture with them getting SUCKED UP by the ghost.

Oh.  Um.  Okay.  That's a lot more macabre than what I interpreted.

My guess: It's a ferris wheel!  With a dazzling light on top.

MADELEINE: Um, so it's like...a PICTURE with the cheerleaders saying "Five, Six, Seven, Eight!  Kit saved the day!" cause she shouted to her dad that she HAD to do it.  Get frozen like the other girls had to get frozen.

Wow.  I was WAY off.  I definitely did NOT see the concept of frozen cheerleaders in this illustration.

My guess: The girl is either painting at an easel or putting a shirt on a pair of legs that have no arms or head attached.

MADELEINE: It's a picture of her doing art.  She's painting a SUN.

Oh.  My first guess was the better one.

My guess: The girl is at a spinning class with her headphones on, ready to pick her bike and rock out to her workout, when a sheep and a bunch of bunnies wander into the gym.

MADELEINE: So, like, um, Kit's mom gets pets for Kit.  Um, so, THREE twin bunnies, and one doggie.

Well, I got the bunnies right.  But what are the things with unicycle wheels on them?  Are those bunnies too?  I'm so confused.

My guess: The girl is triumphantly, albeit hands-lessly, standing atop a reindeer with a bunch of bunnies keeping her company.

MADELEINE: It's a doggie, and the little bunnies, and the doggie gets her skipper ripper so it could TAG a bunny.
ME: What's a skipper ripper?
MADELEINE: So, like, a skipper ripper is one of the DEAD DOGS' legs, and -
ME: Is this a real thing, like from a movie, or did you make it up?
MADELEINE: Uh, I made it up.  So, like, um...it was dead cause someone ACCIDENTALLY dropped a knife on a doggie that was walking by, and it made a hole, and the doggie's, um...and when...and it STARTLED the dog, and he fell over, and he was dead, and one of its legs came off so the other doggie that came by found it and put TWO batteries in the hole, and it made the leg TAG bunnies.

Oh my God.  My child is a sociopath.

And finally:

My guess: It's a bunny woman, with striped tights, and horse hoofs for feet.

MADELEINE: Okay.  So.  It's Ruthie and Kit's...uh, it's Kit's mom, and the little baby is named Harry, and there's a glowing light, and it turns the mom and baby into BUNNIES.  And Mama? You see that?  That was the GLOOMING light.

Yeah.  Or it's that.  I was close.

Holy cow, Madeleine.  What the heck goes through your brain!?!?