Halloween Powums

Julia has been writing a brand new book of Halloween poems, but unlike the author's previously cheery, upbeat works, this collection takes a serious turn toward the macabre.  This is no "Halloween yay yay yay" material here, folks.  And here I always thought Madeleine was the creepy one.


I present to you, the latest seasonal collection of powums:

Wich Stuw: Halloween Powums
by Julia Rowe


Now, what exactly does that title allude to?  Wait no longer than page one to find out!:

Wich Stuw
"What a nice smell of pumpkine stuw but I can not have it bekuse I am alurgick to cats.  I do not no what beckame of her but I think she got coockt in the stuw."

(In case you missed it here, readers, because let's face it: this poem is a bit dense, the witch standing next to the cauldron COOKED HER FELLOW SISTER WITCH in the stew.  I'm not *quite* sure what the being alurgick to cats has to do with all of this, but I'm wondering if maybe the witch chef was getting sick of her witchy friend and the witchy friend's cat, so she decided to just off them in the burning cauldron of pumpkine stuw.  Forevermore known as wich stuw.)


Pumpkine
"Pumpkine, pumpkine, I whant to picke a nice big pumpkine."

(Well, that one is MUCH less gruesome.  I guess after subjecting us to the cannibalism {witchabilism??} on the first page, Julia decided to give us a little break with her mild and inoffensive pumpkine powum.)

 Boo!
"Boo said the goast and the girl screem'd.  'Aaaaah!' and now she is a goust."

(Julia was careful to make it abundantly clear that the girl in this poem was transformed into a ghost, hence the same red side-tail on the ghost as on the screaming girl.  I never knew before that a ghost could actually TURN A HUMAN INTO A GHOST just by shouting "Boo!"  Yikes.  That poor girl barely had a chance to know what hit her before she was herself a red-haired, gray-bodied goust.)


The Gravyourd
"The gravyourd is waer pepol are barid like Esmorelda Green on the paige befo this one."

(WOW.  This is HEAVY STUFF from Julia.  How very Edward Gorey of her.  Poor Esmorelda Green, who suffered the misfortune of being "booed" by a goust.  Now she's simultaneously stuck barid in the gravyourd in body, while her spirit - and her red hair - float around looking for other, innocent, unsuspecting victims to BOO! at.)

And we're not QUITE done with Esmorelda yet:

Esmorelda Green
"Esmorelda,' said a wich. She shode young Esmorelda the goust and thar was Esmorelda Green."

(Oh, my.  Esmorelda ALSO ran into a wich before meeting the goust?  So was the wich the mastermind behind Esmorelda's untimely demise?  And is that Esmorelda's lifeless body drawn on that page?  This is getting way too creepy for me, folks.)


Trick-or-Treat
"Ding dong whent the door bell.  'Trick-or-treat.'  'boo!"

(I am shaking in my boots here.  Is that Esmorelda up there at the door?  Did she Boo! someone else and turn them into a goust too?  Or am I just letting my imagination run away with itself.  Calm down, Courtney.  This is just a book of powums.  Stop being such a scaredy cat.)


The final powum gives us a break from the spooky Esmorelda Green story arch:

Jack-o-lantern
"Jack-o-lantern, jack-o-lantern, shiney and orange.  Your as big as a pig."

(I'm just at a loss for words on that one.)