Nonsense

Both kids took forever to fall asleep last night, most likely because they could sense, with that inherent perception kids seem to have, that Ethan and I were having some friends over for the evening and desperately wanted the kids to provide us with a smooth and easy bedtime.  While Julia opted to display her insomnia by getting out of bed a million times and dawdling around in the living room where we adults hung out, Madeleine was at least able to stay in her bed, although my attempts to snuggle her to sleep were fruitless.  She simply had too many inane, unintelligible things to talk about.

Like this:
MADELEINE: Mom?  Is a puzzler REAL?
ME: A puzzler?  What's a puzzler?
MADELEINE: The GRINCH has a puzzler.
ME: Uh, no, it's not real.
MADELEINE: Is it not betend?
ME: Right.
MADELEINE: But Mom?  It's not real but it's NOT betend?
ME: Uh, it IS pretend.  It's just part of a story.
MADELEINE: Mom?  In the morning, Julia has to remember to DRAW me a puzzler.
ME: Um.  Okay.
MADELEINE: Mom?  When it's the next TODAY, Julia needs to draw me a puzzler.


Or this:
MADELEINE: Mom?  Today we had a really cool thing that has a FLAT bottom but I don't remember what is it called?  I think it's called a WHACKER.
ME: A whacker?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  Mom?  What is it called?
ME: I don't know.  Tell me more about it.  What do you do with it?
MADELEINE: You put it down on the floor.  And it makes a cool SOUND.
ME: Do you whack a ball or something with it?
MADELEINE: Nooooo!
ME: Where was this thing?
MADELEINE: Um.  At school.
ME: And what do you do after you put it down on the floor?
MADELEINE: Um, I was just MOVING it around.
ME: What color is it?
MADELEINE: Mom.  It was RAINBOW colors, Mom.
ME: Was it a popcorn popper?
MADELEINE: Noooooo!

I never did figure out what she was talking about.


It's not like she doesn't talk nonsense even when it's not late at night.  Half the time, during the day, I have no idea what she's asking me for, either.  For instance, it took me an unnecessarily long time to understand exactly what it was she wanted for snack yesterday.

ME: Madeleine, what would you like for snack?
MADELEINE: Um...a Golden Graham.
ME: A Golden Graham?  You had a bowl of Golden Grahams for breakfast.
MADELEINE: No, I want a GOLDEN GRAHAM.
ME: You want Golden Grahams?
MADELEINE: No.  A GOLDEN GRAHAM.
ME: Do you mean a graham cracker?
MADELEINE: No, I want a GOLDEN GRAHAM.
ME: Do you want Teddy Grahams?
MADELEINE: Um, no, a GOLDEN GRAHAM.

Given that Madeleine has had SO many different names for various foods, it wasn't at all obvious to me what she was trying to ask for.  Take into consideration the following foods that have had their own Madeleine-ism pronunciations over the past years:

meatballs: eatballs
turkey burgers: burkey burgers
pancakes: mancakes
graham crackers: bam crackers, later graham crappers
Golden Grahams: golben grahams
granola bars: golan bars, later gamola bars

Well, it turns out that what was once a golan bar and then a gamola bar is now a Golden Graham.  After all my attempts to connect her snack desire to a food that has the word "graham" in it, I finally discovered that what she wanted was not at all related to either the cereal or the cracker.

I can understand why she got the terms mixed up, however.  A Golden Graham really does bear an uncanny resemblance to a gamola bar.  Take a look at them side by side.  Can you even tell which is which?!?: