This morning, as we watched "The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That," Julia was harboring a secret feeling of guilt that she suddenly felt the need to confess:
JULIA: (looking at me nervously) Mom? I...kind of feel like...I don't really like the way Sally and Nick sing.
ME: Yeah, they have kind of stinky voices, don't they?
JULIA: (relieved that she's not a terrible, horrible person for her criticism) Yeah. They don't, really, like, get in the LINES.
What a great description of out-of-tune singing. Just like coloring that doesn't stay within the lines. I always love when kids, lacking the proper expressions of speech, will convey an idea in their own way, like when Madeleine started wailing that the pink marker was "turning off" because its ink was drying out.
In other news, Julia had an INGENIOUS idea in the middle of lunch time today. She decided she wants to make a movie, so she scurried up to the printer in my bedroom to get some blank paper. Settling down to draw a DVD, she started dreamily imagining her new movie.
JULIA: Well, Mommy, CAN we make this into a movie? Well, maybe we'll have to ask Daddy, because he knows this kind of stuff. Because I need him to make this into a real movie. Do you think we CAN do that?:
Yes, Julia. All it takes to produce a movie these days is a piece of paper and a marker. Just draw the DVD cover and the paper is magically embedded with all the movie footage and you can stick it right into your DVD player!
ME: Well, honey, you can't make a real movie on piece of paper. You would have to burn it onto a DVD.
JULIA: Well, how would we do that?
ME: Well, we'd have to buy a blank DVD.
JULIA: But, like, how will it get a NAME on it? Like, Daddy will go buy a blank DVD and then he'll be able to see the NAME on it?
ME: Well, you'd be the one to come up with the name. It wouldn't be on the DVD yet. Because, first, I'd have to actually film your movie with my video camera.
JULIA: Oh. (looking starry-eyed.) Well, so, Mom? What should it be ABOUT?
ME: Well, that would be up to you. You'd have to come up with an idea.
JULIA: But...Mommy? HOW, when you're watching a movie, does it turn into SOMETHING ELSE?
ME: What do you mean?
JULIA: Well, like, it's a MOVIE, and then it turns to something else.
ME: Do you mean like when it changes scenes?
JULIA: Yeah. How does it do that? Are there, like, little strings that pull it along to the next part?
Wow. Does Julia know the DVD process like the back of her hand, or what??
Madeleine has proven herself an equally brilliant child of logic, starting the following conversation on our drive home from dropping Julia at school today:
MADELEINE: Mama? PANTS can't get married.
ME: Pants can't get married? Yup. You're right. Pants CAN'T get married. Only people can get married.
MADELEINE: Well, Princess Smartypants is just a MEAN princess, so she can't get married.
ME: Oh.
MADELEINE: (thoughtful) Well, she's just a NICE person, actually.
ME: Oh, okay. She's nice, huh?
MADELEINE: (thoughtful again) Well...she DOESN'T have a HORN.
ME: She doesn't. That's right.
MADELEINE: Because...she's NOT a PONY.
ME: No. She's not a pony.
MADELEINE: Yeah. She's just some PANTS.
At least Madeleine is completely confident about whatever she says, no matter how illogical. Even earlier today, as she asked for a band-aid on a tiny little non-bleeding cut on her ring finger, she was CERTAIN that she knew what was what.
MADELEINE: Mommy? I need a band-aid for THIS finger.
ME: (examining it) No, this cut isn't bleeding. It doesn't even need a band-aid.
MADELEINE: (looking up at me gravely) Well, Mama. It SURE does.
Okay. That settled that, and on went the band-aid. At least, in order to combat Julia's constant questioning of how everything works and whether or not she should be apologizing for thoughts and deeds, I have another child who lives with COMPLETE conviction of her own understanding of ALL things.
Oh Moodooloon.
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