A Day in the Life

Madeleine just toddled over to me, stinking of poop, carrying the new Max and Ruby book she and Julia got for Easter. "Wooby!" She pleaded, handing me the book. "Hang on, Madeleine, I need to change you first," I said, picking her up and heading over to her changing pad. Needless to say, she found this completely unacceptable, and sobbed her heart out, punctuating her cries with a pathetic, lamenting "Woooooby!" As soon as I had her on the changing pad and had removed her diaper, she began attempting an escape roll, in the process smearing everything from her changing pad to my hand with gobs of poop.

"Julia! I need help!" I shouted, hoping Julia could help hold Madeleine's legs in place while I wiped.
"Uh, no, Mommy, I'm coloring my ponies, and, uh, this pony is named ARTESANI and she doesn't know how to help ANYONE."

So helpful.

After I had gotten everything clean, I performed one more wipe, this time of Madeleine's nose. I then handed her the tissue and asked, "Can you throw this in the garbage?" "Uh-huh!" she replied brightly, toddling off towards the garbage. As I sat remarking on how wonderful it is that Madeleine can follow simple commands and be such a helpful listener, she returned to me holding a cracked, dyed egg that I distinctly remember throwing away last night. "Aunt egg!" she cried, holding it out towards me.

So, smart enough to understand the command "Throw this in the garbage," yet not logical enough to realize that scavenging through the trash is just disgusting.

As soon as I thought I could sit for a second and enjoy my coffee, Julia piped up with "Mommy? I kind of need to poop." "Go ahead!" I encouraged her, and she trotted off to the bathroom, where she began singing loudly from the pot and shouting to me through the closed door, over the sound of the running dishwasher. "Mommy!" followed by completely inaudible chatter. "WHAT?" I shouted. More inaudible chatter, this time a degree louder. I finally opened the door to see what she was trying to tell me. "Mommy, do you know what I'm singing about? I'm singing that I love to play outside when it's sunny or snowy, but when it's thunderstorming I DON'T like to play outside."

I can see why that couldn't wait until she was out of the bathroom.