Madeleine Chatters in Public

The girls had their first swim team practice of the new season yesterday, and both had a blast.  Madeleine's group swam first, while Julia's group was in dryland training.  After Madeleine was out of the pool, Julia's group dove in, and Madeleine got to sit with me in the lobby and watch Julia's practice through the viewing window.  There were several other parents there as well, although no one in the area was talking at all except for Madeleine.  Therefore, everyone around us could overhear everything that Madeleine said. 

For instance, after Madeleine had complained of being cold for about ten minutes, another mom went and got a dry towel from her son's swim bag to wrap around Madeleine.  It was a truly kind gesture, and Madeleine showed her gratitude by then loudly talking about macabre things through the rest of the practice.


MADELEINE: Mama?  When somebody DIES, do they still have a birthday?
ME: (trying to talk really quietly to encourage her to do the same) Well, the date of their birthday will still come every year.
MADELEINE: (not taking my volume cue) But MAMA?  I mean, if someone DIES, do you still keep CELEBRATING their birthday?
ME: (quietly) Well, you can remember them each year on their birthday.
MADELEINE: But MAMA?  If someone DIES, do you still keep celebrating their birthday and do you keep counting how old they're getting?
ME: No, they don't get any older after they die.  (Trying to change the subject) Boy, are you thinking about birthdays a lot or what?  Are you excited for your birthday?

My diversion didn't work.

A moment later:
MADELEINE: Mama?  If someone DIES, and they lived by themselves, does their house just stay sitting there with no one in it?
ME: Uh, no, usually if someone who lives alone dies, another member of their family will sell their house for them.
MADELEINE: No.  Mama.  They don't have ANY OTHER family members alive.

I decided to spare the lobby full of parents the chance to hear me introduce Madeleine to the idea of a last will and testament, so I again tried to shift the subject from dead people.

ME: Sometimes people who live alone wind up moving well before they die.  You know how Grammy lived in a place with other people around and nurses who helped her?  Well, before that she lived in a house alone, but she decided she was getting too old to be on her own.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  Why was she too OLD?
ME: Well, she just needed more help.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  What was she too OLD to do?
ME: Well, the older she got, the more she needed help with.  And she lived a very long time; she was almost 100!
MADELEINE: Mama, she was 99!  She was 99, Mama.
ME: I know.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  What happens when you get really OLD?

Yes, we went from talking about dead people to really, really old ones.  A *slightly* less grisly subject.  Still not exactly what I wanted loudly broadcast through an otherwise silent room by my 5-year-old, but at least she wasn't making her unrestrained announcements about how people around us look.  (Some previous examples of the aforementioned being "Mama?  Why does he have such a big head?", "That's a CRAZY face!" and "Why do you have mushy, mushy breast-es?")

I guess I should know better than expect anything but creepy talk from the kid who colors her princesses in like this: