Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Reflecting on 2013

Well, as 2013 winds to a close, I decided to ask the girls about their favorite memories and events from the past year.  As I sort of figured, their answers were not particularly reflective of all the fun things we've done over the past 12 months, because kids really have no concept of measuring a year's worth of time.  But the fact that they both had things to list shows that they have at least had good times!

According to the girls, here are the highlights of 2013.


MADELEINE:

1.) Listening to the book that Julia was reading.  (She literally meant the book Julia read her about thirty seconds prior to me making this list.)
2.) Playing "My Little Pony" with Julia.
3.) Rosemary Pool!
4.) Going to school
5.) Picking up Julia from school
6.) Staying home outside
7.) Playing in the snow and making snow angels
8.) How about...me drumming these dolls on this drum?  (whacking her two mini-Barbie dolls on the lid top of an animal crackers container.)
9.) Galloping
10) Going to Plaster Fun Time!

So, basically, to sum things up for Madeleine, the best part of 2013 was: JULIA!  Note how Madeleine was even sure to mention her big sister's very favorite past-time: galloping.


JULIA:

1.) Listening to Christmas music
2.) Spending time with my family
3.) Going to Connecticut
4.) Going to the Christmas pageant
5.) Going to Nana and Gramps' house for their anniversary.  That's something I REALLY can remember.
6.) Sleeping in the camper van!
7.) Swimming at Rosemary
8.) Hangin' out with my aunties
9.) Making, like, a slide show video that's like "I Wanna Frost the Cookies."  Like, my "I Wanna Frost the Cookies" slide show thing?
10.) Being a big GOOFBALL!


And to sum things up for Julia: the best part of 2013 was the most recent set of Christmas-time events she took part in, with a few paltry summer memories thrown in.  I guess it's a GOOD thing if she can only get as far back as the summer in her list of top memories, right?  Obviously there are just too many great times to narrow it down to a top ten.


We spent the earlier part of the day today attending New Years Needham events.  Our first stop was a story-teller, whose opening story was of "The Tortoise and the Hare."  As the narrator described the tortoise, with his big hard shell, and impersonated his slow, deep, speaking voice, Madeleine turned to me in delight and exclaimed, "I think this story is gonna be about DINOSAURS!!" 

Genius on display!

Later in the story-telling extravaganza, the narrator described an old man with a wrinkled brow and knotted hands and a long beard that hung down to the floor.  Right with the program as usual, Madeleine exclaimed, "It's DUMBLEDORE!"

And Harry Potter made another surprise appearance in our next event, a marionette puppet show of "Arabian Nights."  As the hero-protagonist was thrown into the dungeon by the evil sorceror emperor, he was warned by a haunting spirit that the emperor is not to be trifled with.

SPIRIT: He has much training in magic and no one knows how far he delves into the dark arts!
MADELEINE: (squealing with joy) Mama!  The DARK ARTS!  Harry POTTER!

Yes, she truly followed what was going on in all of the stories we heard and saw.  Both girls really enjoyed the marionette show, despite (or perhaps because of) the spooky displays of dark art magic, and afterwards, when Ethan asked Madeleine what she thought of the show,she exclaimed brightly, "LOVED it!!"

I mean, it might not have been as much of a highlight as whacking her mini-Barbies onto the animal crackers container, or picking Julia up from school, but I'm glad to know our New Years Eve activity got a thumbs-up from both girls!

Monday, December 30, 2013

More Random Musings

Random things Madeleine has said to us today:

#1

MADELEINE: (earnestly) Daddy?  Today at the Y, I saw TWO people that I know.  Um...um...Jack, and his sister GRACE.  But when I did NOT see them there yet, I was playing ALONE, playing Harry Potter, by MYSELF, and I was saying "Expelliarmus, Expelliarmus!" running around over and over again.


#2

MADELEINE: Mommy?  I always think that you can CUT the POTTY SEAT out of the bathroom, and if I'm NOT in a place where there's a TOILET in it, you can just CUT the potty seat out of the bathroom and...and...and PUT it wherever I'm SITTING.  Yeah.  (suddenly frantic) Uh, Mommy, uh, I reeeeeeally need to go pee!  (leaping up from the floor and running towards the bathroom.)


#3

MADELEINE:  Mama?  I think the baby at the Y was crying because I was saying "BASKILISK!" to everyone.
ME: Oh, do you think the baby got scared when she heard you talking about a basilisk?
MADELEINE: Well, I think she just HEARD what I was saying.  Like, I was just running around saying: "BASKILISK!" and isn't that kind of LOUD?  And kind of SCARY?  And...what about SKELETONS?
ME: Mmm-hmm.  They're scary too.
MADELEINE:  Yeah.  But...if I see REAL, ALIVE robot skeletons, I try to RUN away, because...it looks FROSTED!


And, perhaps the creepiest, on several levels:

#4

MADELEINE: Mama?  Is it kind of like the CVS?
ME: Is what kind of like the CVS?
MADELEINE: The hospital.
ME: Uh, no, the hospital is not like the CVS.
MADELEINE: No, but is the hospital kind of like the CVS?
ME: No, the hospital is very different from the CVS.
MADELEINE: But I mean the hospital that you go to when they try to fix you up better when you're DEAD.
ME: Well, you don't usually go to the hospital when you're dead.  If someone is very injured, or very sick, they might go to the hospital to see doctors who can help them right away to get better.
MADELEINE: What is very sick or very injured?
ME: Well, do you remember how I had to go to the hospital when I got my burn?  (I figured she really didn't remember, seeing as she was still under two when that happened.)
MADELEINE: Yeah.  From the coffee.
ME: That's right!
MADELEINE:  But where was it?
ME: Where was the burn?  Or the coffee?
MADELEINE: Where was the coffee when it fell on you?
ME: It was on the table, and I knocked it off into my lap.
MADELEINE: And Mama.  Weren't you wearing a tank top and shorts?
ME: I was.  How did you remember?
MADELEINE: Well Mama.  I remember that you went "UGGGH!" and then you had to get into the BATH, but the bath wasn't making your burn go AWAY.


I seriously can't believe she remembers this in such detail.  It must have been as traumatic for her as it was for me.  Or, perhaps traumatic isn't the right word.

MADELEINE: Yeah.  Because Mama.  Do you know what's stuck in my head?  "UGGGH!"  Yeah.  That's what's stuck in my head.
ME: Oh, really?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  Because Mama.  Don't you think "UGGGGH!" is a really FUNNY sound that you made??

So.  Yeah.  Traumatic...OR hilarious.  Whatever it was has made sure to embed the incident of my flesh being burned off into her mind.  Sheesh.  No wonder her artwork is so visually creepy.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Pretend Play At its Best

Madeleine is deeply embedded in the throes of pretend-play creativity.  Julia was like this as a four-year-old as well, although Julia at least seemed to have some sense of social consciousness about it.  Madeleine will launch into pretend play in the middle of a packed room if she feels like it.  On Christmas Eve, while the kids were getting dressed into their pageant costumes down in the lower church hall, Madeleine threw herself, heart and soul, into a pretend play game that attracted the attention of another little boy.  Before long, Madeleine and the boy were racing in large circles around the church hall, occasionally wiping out on the slippery linoleum floor, as Madeleine shrieked, "Hurry!  I'm an angel!  We have to get BABY JESUS!  Hurry up, hurry up!  VOLDEMORT'S coming to GET US!"

She really knows how to cast the true Christmas spirit upon those around her, no?


The game resumed two days ago, without warning, when we stopped by the house of kids Madeleine has never even met, and who are a good five and seven years older than she.  After exchanging the barest of pleasantries with these kids, Madeleine began racing in circles around their dining room table, exclaiming, "Hey, do you wanna play my GAME?  I'm an ANGEL, and we have the Baby Jesus, and VOLDEMORT is in it!  Hurry!  Jesus CHRIST is coming and we have to SAVE him from VOLDEMORT!"

I'm sure the kids didn't think Madeleine was weird at all.


Today, I took the kids to church, only to find out that both church choir and Sunday School were on hiatus for the day.  So that left me sitting in the very front pew of church (usually reserved for Sunday School kids) with my own two girls climbing all over me and fighting over who got to sit in my lap or cuddle me.  But the feuding didn't last for long.  Madeleine quickly took off into fantasy land, and spent much of the entire church service talking quietly to herself.  (May I remind you, we were in the front row.  I'm sure the priest enjoyed the constant stream of one-sided chatter going on while he was giving his sermon.)  At one point, I noticed Madeleine stroking the hand of an elderly woman standing next to us.  I delicately tried to suggest Madeleine be gentle, while yanking her hands away.  No matter.  A second later, Madeleine's hand had wielded itself back over to the hand of our neighbor, and was once again creeping around up and down her hand.

ME: Madeleine, honey.  Be gentle with other people.  Here, move over this way.  (Yanking her hand away once again)
MADELEINE: (not even pausing in her out-loud pretend play dialogue, moving her hand back over and crawling her fingers over our neighbor's hand once again.)
ME: Madeleine.  Come here, honey.  (picking her up)
MADELEINE: (loudly) But there are TEN LITTLE SPIDERS jumping around on her hand!

How nice of Madeleine to include the elderly woman next to us in her pretend play game, without even asking if this was a game in which the woman wanted to partake.  Boy, Madeleine sure can share.  No idea stays entirely to Madeleine's own self.  Let's include EVERYONE!

At any rate, we made it through the service without being TOO distracting, so now we are safely back at home, where Julia is currently thumpily galloping while thinking about fantasy things ("anything can happen!") and Madeleine is in the bath loudly talking her Ariel and Belle bath toys as they engage in all sorts of bath-time adventures. 

Imagination sure is fun!

Friday, December 27, 2013

I Wanna Frost the Cookies

While waiting to frost chocolate gingerbread cookies with Auntie Shannon yesterday, Madeleine came up with a song to pass the time.  See if it doesn't get stuck in YOUR head:





Before long, Auntie Caitlyn and Julia were performing their spin on the song, RAPPAH-STYLE!:




Sweet dreams tonight....I wanna frost the cookies...I wanna frost the cookies...I wanna frost the cookies...

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Hand-Made Gifts

I was the lucky recipient of many special gifts yesterday, particularly the hand-made ones from my daughters.  Julia spoiled me rotten, giving me not one but TWO personally hand-crafted presents. 

The first was a fun, brain-stimulating game:






"Try to make sentins.  P.S. Thars a bag.  Make shor they make sens.  Thank you."

I can't WAIT to try and construct some really interesting, sensible sentinses!  Thanks, Jules! 


My second gift from Julia was a very long book, written inside the pages of a blank journal she was given for her birthday.  The title of this book is:

"Have Fun Littel One" by Julia Rowe


"A Book of Sirprisis."



The story seems to be one of a mother reflecting on the joy of new parenthood:

"You are all I wish't for,' said new mother Jena.  'I loved you the momin't you were in my belly."

This definitely strikes a sentimental chord with me.  I often tell Julia about how much I loved her before I even met her.


"All you can say is 'gugu.'  I think it's sooper sweet.  Oh you are the cutist thing."

Aww.  This book is the BEST.


"Evin though I diyd my hiar you still know me.  And now that you are ten years old I am haveing anuther."

Wait.  Was the mom afraid that her daughter wouldn't recognize her after she diyed her hair?  It looks the same color to me as on page 1.  Did new mom Jena diye her hair to hide the grays?  Or has she always been diying it red?  In either case, I'm glad her baby still knows her, even with her hair diyd.  And also, Jena sure waited a long time to be ready for anuther baby.  Ten years in between pregnancies.  No wonder her hair is graying.


"And now you bourn.  You are 13.  Oh I am so proud.  18 and 8 you are getting to OLD."

I'm just a bit confused.  Did Jena's baby gestate for 3 years?  How is her older daughter 13 when the baby is bourn?  On the other hand, the siblings appear to resume their 10 year age gap on the next page.  And this book is really getting me in the gut.  Julia totally understands the bittersweet sentiment of watching your children grow.  Pride mixed with nostalgia.


"And now there all grone up.  Out the older one looking for a apartmint.  She stayd."

Aww.  They're grone up.  And either living in an apartmint or staying at home.  I'm confused.


"Halloween giving out candy veary nice.  It's Christmas Eve and evrything is perfickt."

And this is the point at which Julia starts to run out of ideas to fill the rest of the pages of her book.  You see, she's stuck here, because the bound book has a specific number of pages.  Now that Jena's kids are grone and living in apartmints, there's not a whole lot else she can do with the story.  But she still has pages to fill.


"Haveing fun is just the key.  And I'll tell you there names.  Lila and Holly."

Oh, good, we finally get to learn the names of Jena's kids.  I've been wondering the whole time.

But what else will Julia come up with to fill the rest of her book??

"A persin in need daz not have greed.  And I found out when Holly was looking for a home."

There is a clear connection between the two pages, no?



"Holly older and Lila younger.  Doing chours is what I clam."

You can tell Julia is even getting tired of doing illustrations.  I like the two lines on the left-most page, one labeled "older" and the other "younger."  That's some masterful artistic work.



"Open up your eyes and look inside.  Moms evreyware should know this."

Know what?  To open up your eyes and look inside?  Or is there going to be a big reveal on the next page about what moms should know??  Let's see!:

"I love my douter you do too! Me and you you and me."

Oh!  Moms SHOULD know that.  This book really taught me a lesson, because I wasn't ALREADY AWARE that I love my douters.


And now Julia really begins grasping at straws to finish the book:

"Are you lisning?  Snow is blisning.  Oh know.  I still have a wreath on the door."

The plot of this book has really gotten off track, here, folks.


"Mom, can I driv in your car?  I think I'll eat a pikol."

WOAH.  I don't know about you guys, but that pikol twist took me TOTALLY by sirpris.  That really came out of NOWHERE!


Hang in there Julia.  Almost done!  Last page coming up!:

"Is this book about Christmas?  It's about love and caring.
Like this book?"

Julia, I *LOVED* it!


I was not the only fortunate recipient of Julia's hand-made gifts.  Madeleine got a few good ones too!  Like:

"Fashon mix and mach.  Fashon, Rock Star, Toy Owner."

Ooh, I would LOVE to dress someone like a toy owner!  Lucky Madeleine!  Wait.  What does a toy owner look like?  Just like a regular kid?

Anyway, Madeleine also got this wacky brain-puzzler:

"Gesing Game: A Have Fun Game.  (Not alwod under the age of 3."

This is major brain calisthenics here. Not only are you supposed to guess in this game, but apparently you are supposed to guess exactly WHAT you're supposed to be guessing.  I'm not sure what to do with this strip of colors at the bottom.  I guess that's part of the whole fun puzzle!  What a game!


The best gifts of all are those crafted with love and care, so I think Julia hit it out of the park!













Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!







Some highlights from this morning so far:


MADELEINE: (upon opening a big Little People playground) Well, we don't NEED this baby LITTLE PEOPLE toy.

(You're welcome, Madeleine.)



JULIA: (on the subject of Santa Claus) Mom?  Is there, like, one VOLUNTEER for every country who delivers all the presents?

(She clearly has noticed the logistical problems of one man delivering gifts to the entire world.  However, rather than jumping to the conclusion that MOM AND DAD supply the gifts, Julia has a happy image of her head of a friendly ambassador to Santa, traipsing about the country dropping off his gifts.  THAT makes much more sense than a magical man with a flying sleigh hitting every house in the world in one night, right?)



MADELEINE: (holding out wrapping paper, waiting for Ethan to take it from her and put it in the wrapping paper waste bag)  Uh, Daaaad.  Don't you even SEE that I'm standing here holding wrapping paper very PATIENTLY??



 And finally:

JULIA: (upon opening the following dry-erase board) Ohhh!  Uh...a making S'MORES kit??





Close! 

Merry Christmas, all!


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Christmas Eve!

Too excited to wait for the real "delivery" of Christmas gifts, the girls have taken to wrapping various items from around the house for each other.  Consequently, there is a pile of completely unnecessarily wrapped "gifts" underneath our tree at the moment.  And, let's face it, who DOESN'T want to open an item she ALREADY possesses when it's something incredible like, say, the plastic pear from our play-kitchen fruit basket, or a single Matchbox car, or an unidentifyable plastic piece to the Polly Pockets (even the girls admit to not knowing what this piece is supposed to be)?  It's TOTALLY worth wasting both wrapping paper and tape on these sorts of gifts.

Today, Julia proudly held up a wrapped gift which looks unequivocally like two pencils covered in wrapping paper.

JULIA: Mommy!  This is for MADELEINE!
ME: (unenthused) I know.
JULIA: And do you know what it IS?
ME: Pencils.
JULIA: Hey!  Now Madeleine knows what it is!
ME: What a problem.
JULIA: (holding the gift up to Madeleine) Madeleine, do you know what this is?
MADELEINE: (confidently) Hay!


Clearly, she picked up on the key word from the above conversation.


To pass the time as they anxiously await nightfall, the girls have been busy playing all sorts of games together.  They built a fort:







They played school, with Julia as teacher and Madeleine as pupil.  Madeleine was instructed to make her own gingerbread figure, and big surprise, she chose to make the Gingerbread Gimnist.  Big surprise #2: her figure looks like a maniacal gingerbread Franken-monster coming to eat us instead of the other way around:






The girls also wrote and illustrated Christmas books.  Julia's is called:




JULIA: Madeleine, don't try to copy my letters, because I wrote them in LOWER-CASE.
MADELEINE: Yeah, because I noticed that your "r" was lower-case!
JULIA: (pointing to the punctuation at the end of "hear") And do you know what THIS is?
MADELEINE: (brightly) Oh!  That's an EXPLANATION point.
JULIA: Yes.  It's an explanation point.  Do you know what an explanation point is for?

I think Julia needs an EXPLANATION on the pronunciation of EXCLAMATION point.  Hardy har har.


Madeleine made a book as well, complete with more freaky drawings:



Sharp-clawed creatures with war paint and floppy spear-head arrows coming out of their hair?  How very Christmassy! 


At any rate, at long last it was time to head off to church for the Christmas Eve service.  Julia played "Silent Night" as part of the Christmas pageant.  I managed to record it while also holding up her music, as there was no music stand, but what I forgot to do was turn the recording device off after she finished, so there is a lot of extra footage that wasn't meant to be recorded.  Julia's performance ends at around 41 seconds, unless you want to watch the camera held at off-kilter angles and footage of the altar floor and what not:




Madeleine made a beautiful, if tired, angel:






And now two tired girls are up in their beds, most likely to be up at the CRACK OF DAWN ready to open gifts!  Merry Christmas Eve!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Jesus and His Hairstyle

The other night, Madeleine expressed her disappointment over being a child of this era rather than of Jesus'.

MADELEINE: (lamenting) But Maaamaa.  Why don't WE get to see Jesus?
ME: Well, Jesus lived a long, long time ago.  Like, more than two thousand years ago.  So you were born WAY after Jesus died.
MADELEINE: But Mom.  I just REALLY, REALLY wish I could see what Jesus looks like!  Because...I don't know what kind of HAIRSTYLE he wears, because...sometimes they show a French braid that goes down his back.
ME: Oh.  Well, you know, the pictures we see are just a guess of what Jesus might have looked like.  Jesus lived so, so long ago that there were no cameras or anything that could show us what anything looked like.
MADELEINE: But Mom?  How did Jesus SEE anything if there were no people and no animals?

Okay.  Nope.  JESUS was the one who was born in the manger.  GOD was the one who made life out of blackness.  Jesus could see.  I know, I know, it's confusing, especially since Madeleine is being told that Jesus and God are one and the same.  But the stories of Creation and the Nativity are separated by, oh, I don't know, a few billion years??

At any rate, Auntie Caitlyn came to the rescue for Madeleine, showing her a plethora of computer images of Jesus.  The images ranged from icons to Renaissance paintings to the actor who played Jesus in The Passion of the Christ.  Madeleine immediately wanted her own picture of Jesus to have and to hold, so as she stared at the computer images in fascination, her Auntie Caitlyn attempted to draw a picture of Jesus.

Aww, how nice of Auntie Caitlyn, right?  

Wrong!  REJECTED. 

Madeleine grabbed a green crayon and began scribbling over Auntie Caitlyn's Jesus face, exclaiming, "No, no, no, that's NOT Jesus!"

Reject Jesus



Madeleine then grabbed the brown crayon out of Auntie Caitlyn's hand and got to work on her own Jesus, carefully studying the computer image as she slowly and diligently attempted to copy it by hand.  Behold, Madeleine's finished Jesus:






I can see why Madeleine scribbled out Auntie Caitlyn's Jesus.  Madeleine's Jesus looks WAY more like the real deal than her auntie's did.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Weekend Excitement!

It was an exciting weekend in the Rowe household, as we got to celebrate and early Christmas with Nana and Gramps.  The girls had worked hard during the week to produce hand-made gifts for their grandparent.  Madeleine created two animal ornaments, one of a monkey and one of a lion, while Julia wrote a brand new poem:







Ethan had requested "nothing" for Christmas, and had gone so far as to elaborate on his request.  "What you can get me for Christmas is a box full of nothing.  Or you can also get me a barrel of nothing.  Or, you know what I'd like?  I'd like a bunch of nothing."  So his parents decided to bestow upon him exactly what he wanted:







Madeleine is particularly fascinated by this gift, wanting to make sure Ethan is cherishing it as much as he should be.


MADELEINE: (wandering into the kitchen) Uh, Mama?  I'm looking for Daddy's NOTHING.  Do you know where his nothing is?
ME: Here.  (handing her the jar.)
MADELEINE: (taking the jar and scampering into the living room) Daaaaaddy!  Here you gooooo!  I got you your NOTHING!

Ethan was also given a set of fake mustaches, and let's be real here: of COURSE the girls wanted to try them on.







So rest assured: even if Ethan wants to be Grinchy about Christmas, his children will find utter and utmost delight in his gifts, as well as in their own!

Today was full of excitement as well.  We had church this morning, during which the choir performed a concert and the Sunday school rehearsed for their Christmas Eve pageant.  I dressed the girls in their Christmas dresses in honor of both the choir Christmas concert, as well as the Greek School Christmas concert going on after church.  Both girls' dresses are red and festive, as you can see in the Christmas card photo in which they wear them:





However, despite the fact that both girls' dresses are red, Madeleine simply couldn't handle the fact that Julia's has white fluff and hers doesn't.  She lamented this fact the entire way to church today, and apparently, couldn't quite get over it at Sunday school either.  While the girls were choosing their roles for the upcoming pageant, Madeleine still had Julia's dress on her brain.  Julia chose to be a shepherd.  Madeleine, when asked, replied that she wants to be: "FLUFF!"

Because I don't know of any Christmas fluff as part of the Christmas story, it looks like Madeleine will have to settle for being an angel.

At any rate, as soon as we were home from church, Madeleine ditched her red dress in order to don her pink sparkly dress with the coveted white fluff.  No reason not to dirty two church dresses in one day, right?!?

The afternoon brought yet ANOTHER highly exciting event: a trip to the jewelry store for ear piercing!!  Julia had been promised pierced ears as a 7th birthday gift, and because Madeleine was also feeling brave enough to try it, we decided to do both girls in one go.

Julia was super brave about the whole ordeal, hardly flinching for a second as she got her earrings in:





ME: Wow, you were so brave, Jules!
JULIA: (laughing) It didn't even hurt!


Madeleine had a different reaction.  She was completely unafraid at first, and sat in the piercing chair in complete stoicism.  And while the piercing tech cleaned Madeleine's ear lobes, she giggled away, telling the tech, "That feels a little FUNNY!"

I was thrilled that Madeleine was taking it all so well.

ME: So, Madeleine, are you gonna be super brave?
MADELEINE: Yeah!  And Mama!  It doesn't even HURT!  It just feels a little FUNNY!

Oh.  Poor, poor girl.  She thought the cleaning was the actual piercing.  Little did she know that she was soon to be stripped of her chipper facade:






I will say this, however: after the actual piercing, Madeleine did not cry.  She DID sit with tear-filled eyes and quivering lip, looking at both me and the tech with wounded accusation.  But she held herself together.  And now she has some beautiful, birthstone-pink earrings!:



Friday, December 20, 2013

Little Miss Random

Madeleine has no shortage of random thoughts going through her head lately.  She even gave our baby-sitter fodder for this blog.  When I arrived home from work yesterday, Madeleine was deeply invested in an exhilarating game of "Cup and the Dove."  Now, while this title may suggest a painting of religious iconography, it turns out that "Cup and the Dove" is more or less a game of chase. 

Our sitter shared Madeleine's explanation of the game with me.

MADELEINE: We are playing "Cup and the Dove!"
SITTER: "Cup and the Dove??"  Who is the cup?
MADELEINE: ME!
SITTER: But...you're moving so fast, you can't be a cup.
MADELEINE: (assuredly) Yes I can.  Cups move REALLY fast!

After our sitter left, I got to fill in as the dove and chase Madeleine, the cup, around the kitchen.  Madeleine occasionally made random bell sounds.  When it was just ONE ring, I couldn't catch her.  But when it was TWO rings ("Ring ring!"), then I was allowed to catch her.  It was FUN TIMES.  What a great game.  And it really has EVERYTHING to do with both a cup AND a dove.


Meanwhile, Madeleine's brain was full of imagery from an imaginary shirt she truly believes she owns this morning.

MADELEINE: (hanging her head, lip drooping) Um...um...um...I wanted to wear my CHICKEN shirt with POPCORN, but I couldn't find it ANYWHERE!
ME: What chicken shirt with popcorn?
AUNTIE CAITLYN: Do you mean a candy corn?
ME: I don't think she has a candy corn shirt.  Or a chicken shirt with popcorn.
MADELEINE: (mournfully) Yes I do, but I can't find it ANYWHERE.
ME: What shirt are you talking about?  Tell me about it.
MADELEINE: It's...it's...it's...it's...
ME: What color is it?
MADELEINE: Um...it's...it's...it's...ORANGE.
ME: And what does it have on it?
MADELEINE: Um...a candy corn, and a chicken and some POPCORN!

I literally have no idea what shirt she is talking about.  I think she dreamed of it or something.  Her aunties took her upstairs to search her drawers, and a few moments later, Madeleine came down triumphantly wearing a navy blue shirt with a peace sign and flowers on it.

ME: You decided on this shirt?
MADELEINE: Uh...this IS my chicken shirt with popcorn!
ME: Where is the chicken and the popcorn and the candy corn??
MADELEINE: Uh...they're HIDDEN!

Madeleine in her chicken shirt with some popcorn and a candy corn.


And, in another display of totally random imaginings, I found this lovely coloring of the manger scene in Madeleine's new Christmas coloring book:


ME: Hey, Madeleine?  I was wondering: why do they all have blue faces?
MADELEINE: Oh!  (smiling brightly) They're BLUEBERRIES!

May the true blessings of the Bethlehem blueberries reach you and yours this holiday season.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

More (Very) Creepy Art

We now have more than one budding author in the house!  Madeleine is working on a book, and she has stayed true to her incredibly creepy artistic style.  I posted the first few pages on facebook last night, but for those of you who have not yet seen (or who just want to see them again), here they are:



I don't even know what to say about the above.  According to Ethan, who was home while Madeleine drew these pictures, the spiky haired, all-red creature on the left-side picture is "Daddy as a hot dog!"  Knowing that information does not AT ALL allay my feelings of creeped-outed-ness about these drawings, however.

Today, Madeleine continued her book, creating the following oh-so-spine-tingling artistic masterpieces:



Okay.  First of all, it's very sweet that the first thing that Madeleine wrote is "I love Mom."  But the combination of this person having no eyes and nose, and seeming stuck in some sort of brown evil freezing potion, with the words "I love Mom.  StopStop Mom" is reeeeeeeally creepy to me.  I mean, I understand that Madeleine was just writing words she actually knows how to spell (we have done a lot of work lately with spelling both "love" and "stop"), but OH MY GOD, this soul-less, face-less child with a wide open, screaming mouth is going to HAUNT ME FOREVER!  JUST LET HER GO, MOM!  PLEASEPLEASE MOM!


Oh my.  So.  How is it that even when Madeleine draws a SMILE instead of a SCREAMING O-MOUTH, her creature is still totally, bone-chillingly freaky?!?  I am so scared of this robot-human with an electronically pulsating orange in place of a heart.  What is it even doing?!?  Why are its eyes gazing heavenward instead of at the viewer?  (Though, come again, I might pee my pants if it was staring directly at me.)  And what are all those little orange drawings surrounding Evil Robot-Man??  They scare me.  Perhaps even more than Evil Robot-Man does.


Just.  What?  What is this?  A virulent bacteria seen under a microscope?  A near-to-exploding cosmic entity?  All I know is that when Madeleine STARTED drawing this picture, it was of a mountain and all the little people atop the mountain.  How it became this fiery orb of DEATH is beyond me.




According to Madeleine, the text that accompanies this picture is: "We make the world's BIGGEST, GIANTEST balloon!"  All I can say is: if I saw that balloon floating around in the sky, I would RUN FOR MY LIFE in the opposite direction.  It's like the giant Pillsbury Dough Boy from Ghostbusters.  I'm scared for humanity, should that balloon get released into the sky.




And, finally, a nice cheery picture of a very tall Christmas tree.  Except: why is the treetop angel lying DEAD with her head spiked against the the top branch?!?  Madeleine tried explaining it to me: "So, Mama, they're still PUTTING the angel ON the tree, so that's why she's SIDEWAYS."  That doesn't help, Madeleine.  I will be forever creeped out by the vision of this broken-necked, ghoul-angel.  WHY IS HER HEAD AT THAT ANGLE?!?


Aaaanyways...a brand new, jolly Christmas book from the Rowe household, folks.  Hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have.