A Big Lump

For the past month or so, ever since sandal season arrived, Madeleine has become very particular about the way in which we need to velcro her sandals.  Not only does the edge of the strap need to line up perfectly with the edge of the velcro - no velcro allowed to show, and absolutely no strap left dangling over the piece of velcro -- but the strap itself MUST NOT be laid down smoothly.  In her own words, "I need a BIG LUMP."  The big lump is a necessity, in her eyes; she simply cannot permit herself to leave the house until a big lump is in place on both straps.  I'm not sure what is so appealing about a big lump, nor do I understand what purpose the big lump serves, but all of us in the Rowe household have simply grown accustomed to the fact that the sandals need to have a big lump before Madeleine finds them acceptable to wear in public.

Left foot (to the viewer's right): Big lump in place.  Completely acceptable.
Right foot: No big lump.  Unacceptable for wearing.  Madeleine: "Oh no, Mommy, I need to make a BIG LUMP."

The big lump gets to be a problem when we're in a rush, and I have been known to carry Madeleine borefoot to the car, her sandals in hand, so that I can put her shoes on at our destination and save the time it takes us to get out the door dealing with her big lumps.  However, one helpful new development is that she no longer allows me to make the big lump for her.  She now has to make it herself, after I simply strap her sandals down flat, which saves me at least a little time.  In fact, if I even dare to TRY and make her big lump, she will just unstrap the velcro and re-make the lump herself.

As Julia and I have been home with Madeleine every day over the past week, we are clearly in the know on the newest big lump development.  Ethan, however, had his first attempt at putting on Madeleine's sandals SINCE the big lump rule change yesterday, and was flummoxed by Madeleine's dissatisfaction.  Luckily, Julia was there to interpret Madeleine's frustrated whining for him.

MADELEINE: No!  NO!  I have to (indecipherable whining)!!!
ETHAN: Madeleine.  Madeleine.  I'm trying to strap your sandals.
JULIA: (matter-of-factly) She has to make the big lump HERSELF now, Daddy.
ETHAN: Oh.  Okay.  Go ahead.
MADELEINE: (happy once again, busy manufacturing the lumps in her straps.)

In fact, Julia has been a very helpful translator for Madeleine lately, often able to ascertain what it is Madeleine wants when the rest of us can't.  Yesterday, as I rushed down to the basement to put the laundry into the dryer, then attempted to hang the load of bathing suits to dry, Madeleine was wailing for me, crying out something I couldn't even begin to understand, as I continually shouted back, "Hang on, Madeleine!  I'll be right there!"  Her whining wail got more and more insistent, so I began calling to her to ask what the problem was.  Unable to answer me in a coherent voice, Madeleine continued wailing away to me.  Thankfully, Julia, who was pooping on the potty behind closed doors, was able to come to the rescue, relaying Madeleine's message through the door.  "You FORBOT that one!" she called to me from inside the bathroom.  Aha.  Suddenly all was clear, as I realized I had skipped one page in the book I had read to Madeleine before dealing with the laundry.  Not only are sandals WITHOUT big lumps always noticeable and deemed absolutely unacceptable, but a skipped page within a book is also a gigantic no-no.  Madeleine will remember with 100% accuracy which particular page has been skipped, and even if the book is already over with, the reader MUST go back and read the skipped page, out of context.

What can I say?  Madeleine is just a BIG LUMP of ridiculousness.