Bedtime Craziness

While Ethan and I spent the bulk of our day taking measures to eliminate the pantry moths from our cupboards, the Aunties took Julia and Madeleine to the movies.  The kids had a blast, and came home ready to keep the fun rolling.  Julia was, therefore, dismayed to hear me ask her to do some reading in her bedroom.

Let me first take a step back and explain that yesterday, Julia had a mini-meltdown about the fact that she has only read 3 of the 10 media books she took home for the summer.  Despite my assurances that she hasn't even been out of school for a month, she decided to take the doomsday perspective and assert that there was NO WAY she would be able to finish 7 more books before the first day of school.  So I promised to help her find reading time every day to plug away at book #4.  The problem with the plan is that there is always something else Julia would rather be doing when I remind her to read.  For example, earlier today:

ME: Why don't you go read a chapter before you head out to the movies?
JULIA: But I wanted to GALLOP!


God forbid I break up gallop time. 

So, anyway, I suggested Julia do her reading when she came home from the movies.  She got through a chapter, and I told her that at bedtime she could split between reading another chapter and having me read a chapter of the book we're working on together to her.

Julia opted to, instead, wake up Auntie Shannon from a nap to ask her to make s'mores.  By the time Julia was ready for bed, it was well past the usual bedtime, so I told her all she had time for was her own independent reading.  Cue an unhappy girl whose bedtime dreams went awry.

Meanwhile, Madeleine couldn't get the memory of a movie preview she'd seen in the theater out of her head.  Specifically, she couldn't stop thinking of the part in the movie trailer for "Sing" where some animals begin singing "Baby Got Back."  Which meant Madeleine spent her time after dinner repeatedly exclaiming, "Oh, my gosh, look at her butt!"

None of us could take it anymore.  Plus, she was totally stalling on getting ready for bed.  As was Julia.

JULIA: (coming out of her bedroom) Daddy, do you wanna look at my class list for next year?
ME: GO READ.
MADELEINE: Oh, my gosh, look at her butt.
ETHAN: I'll look at it tomorrow.
JULIA: Caitlyn, did you know-
ME: GO READ.
MADELEINE: Oh my gosh, look at her butt.
ETHAN: Madeleine, go brush your teeth.
MADELEINE: Oh, my gosh, look at her butt.
JULIA: But Daddy?
ME: GO READ.
MADELEINE: Oh, my gosh, look at her butt.
ETHAN: Madeleine, have you brushed your teeth yet?
ME: No, she's too busy singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie."
MADELEINE: No.  It's "Oh, m-"
ETHAN: STOP.

Silence

In any event, Ethan finally gave Madeleine an ultimatum: if she wanted him to read her "Harry Potter" for bedtime, she had to stop the butt talk.  Which do you think won out?  Snuggling with Daddy and listening to "Harry Potter," or butts? 

It was totally the butts.  And boy, was Madeleine devastated to learn that Ethan was really serious about no "Harry Potter" if she didn't stop with the butts.  I offered to give her a snuggle before bed since she had lost her chance with a story.

ME: (snuggling Madeleine)
MADELEINE: (wailing and baby talking) Hawwy!
ME: Well, you blew it, honey.
JULIA: (coming out of her room)
ME: GO READ.
JULIA: But I wanted to see if Madeleine's-
ME: She's fine.  Go read.
MADELEINE: Hawwy!  Hawwy!
ME: Sorry, honey, but you blew it with the butt talk.
MADELEINE: But-
ME: Wouldn't you think it's annoying if somebody else kept saying the same thing over and over and over?
MADELEINE: I don't know.  I'm not Daddy.
ME: Okay, well then I'll have to try it.
MADELEINE: Okay.
ME: Okay, well then I'll have to try it.
MADELEINE: (giggling)
JULIA: (entering Madeleine's room) Mommy?  Is it okay for me to ask a question if it's RELATED to something I read in the book?
ME: Okay, well then I'll have to try it.
MADELEINE: (cracking up and totally defeating the point of my experiment)

All of the above carried on for some time, but at long last Julia was reading in bed without getting out a million times to ask people questions, Madeleine's tears settled, and both kids have another shot tomorrow night to actually have us read to them for bedtime.

Until then, it's back to the pantry moths as I try to get "Baby Got Back" out of my head.