Dinner Talk

Just a normal old night at the Rowe dinner table.


JULIA: Mom?  Remember that book you wrote when you were a kid that was about baby-sitting but it's not ACTUALLY about baby-sitting??
ME: Yeah.  I was a pretty stinky author.  But I thought I was really great.
MADELEINE: Why did you think you were a really great ARTHUR?
JULIA: Because, Madeleine.  Kids ALWAYS think they're so great at things, then when they grow up they're like, "Oh...actually, this isn't so great.  It's pretty dopey."
ETHAN: (who had not been contributing to the conversation, since he had been taking a quiz on his phone) Wow.  I just took a really hard quiz and I did not do so well.
JULIA: Hey Mommy!  Can we play that QUIZZING game, where we make a quiz and other people take it?
ME: Uh, not tonight.
MADELEINE: Wait, what about that game where you draw something, and you have a partner, and the other person has to try and GUESS it??
JULIA: You mean "Pictionary?"
MADELEINE: Oh, yeah!  Fictionary.  That's what it's called.  Can we play that?
ME: Honey, it's gonna be bedtime soon.  We'll play another night.
ETHAN: Okay, I have a game.  I'm thinking of something that's brown and rough and natural?
JULIA: Poop?
ETHAN: No.
JULIA: Dirt?
ETHAN: No, but it is something you find outside.
JULIA: Rocks?
ETHAN: No, rocks are more gray.
JULIA: Uh...TREE BARK!
ETHAN: Yes!  Good job.
JULIA: Okay.  I'm thinking of something, and it's a LIQUID.
ETHAN: You can give more details, too.  Like, you can say whether it's natural or artificial.
JULIA: Is artificial something that's, like, MADE by someone?
ETHAN: Well, artificial means the ingredients are made by someone.  So, like, orange juice is NOT artificial, because oranges grow in nature.
JULIA: (completely flummoxed by this point) Well, is coffee artificial?
ETHAN: Is the thing you're thinking of coffee?
JULIA: (deflated) Yeeeessss.
MADELEINE: Okay, now it's MY turn!  (staring directly at Clara the chihuahua) It's little and it's cute and it's HAIRY.
JULIA: Clara!
ETHAN: Madeleine.
MADELEINE: (delighted) JULIA GOT IT!  Uh, Daddy, it was Clara.  JULIA GOT IT!

And if this isn't enough detail about our dinnertime conversations, as I sat here typing this I just overheard the discussion between Ethan and Madeleine in the kitchen.

ETHAN: (flustered) Hang on a minute, Madeleine!  Pull your underwear back up and get your hands outta there.  I have to be dealing with the food here.  I need to deal with the food before I can take a look at your bum.  

Don't you all wish you could be here as our lucky dinner guests?!?