Madeleine's Games

Madeleine has been chock-full of ideas for new games lately, even if she borrows the title of some long-standing, pre-existing games from time to time. 

For example, Monday's backyard adventure was entitled "Soccer."
Unlike the real soccer, however, this game of soccer did not involve the kicking of balls at all.

Here is how Madeleine's version of soccer was played:

The goalie (me, at the start of the game) had to stand at an invisible goal.  The other players (Julia and Madeleine) took turns trying to throw a ball over my head and into the invisible goal.  (Said goal was basically anywhere in the yard that was beyond my reach.)  If I managed to catch the ball or bat it back at the players, no goal was scored.  As long as either girl tossed the ball without me catching or touching it, a goal was scored. 

Needless to say, the girls scored a LOT of goals.  Things weren't quite so fair once the girls got a turn at goalie, however.  Madeleine, as goalie, got to the point of near-frantic tears after the ball had sailed over her head one too many times.  "NO, MAMA, can you NOT throw it OVER MY HEAD?" she demanded desperately.  Julia, as goalie, took her missed-catches with grace, although she quickly decided that being the ball-thrower was MUCH more fun than being goalie.  "Uh, Madeleine, can Mommy be the goalie again?  Mommy, can you be the goalie, because it's SO MUCH FUN when YOU'RE goalie!"

So after their short stints at the invisible goal, the girls went back to tossing balls every which way to rack up an unbelievable amount of points while I half-heartedly attempted to stop their goals.  This game was such an enormous hit that Julia has spoken of it dreamily on several bedtime occasions this week.  "Mommy?  That was SO fun playing soccer in the backyard.  You're the BEST goalie ever!"

If either girl ever plays real soccer, I have a feeling they won't find the process quite as easily rewarding.


Yet another of Madeleine's games is played en route to and from Julia's school and home.  This game doesn't have an official name, but Madeleine usually refers to it as the "Getting Ahead of You" game.  In this action-packed, fun-filled game, Madeleine repeatedly drops behind me on the sidewalk, only to suddenly go blazing past me and ahead of me to prove that SHE'S the fastest.  The best part of this game is that I am required to announce my imagined superiority: "Oh, boy, I'm way ahead of Madeleine.  I'm the fastest!"  Then I must loudly register my dismay when she passes me: "Oh, boy, Madeleine got past me AGAIN.  How is she SO FAST?"  Let me tell you: it is a BARREL of fun.  Who wants to walk to school together at an even pace when you can pretend your 5-year-old is repeatedly beating you at speed-walking? 

Julia didn't take to this game so well once she was included.  At first, when Madeleine attempted to blaze past both of us, Julia's competitive edge COMPLETELY over-ruled her sense of compassion, and before I knew it Julia and Madeleine were elbowing each other out of the way until Julia had securely blown past her sister and Madeleine collapsed on the sidewalk in tears. 

After I spoke to Julia about this, she was more compliant in letting Madeleine burst past us, but she made sure to verbally register her malcontent.

MADELEINE: Okay, Mama, pretend you think you're ahead of me.
ME: Okay.  Wow, I'm WAY ahead of Madeleine!  I'm the fastest!
MADELEINE: (sprinting past me)
JULIA: (offended) Well, Madeleine is just a little SASSY-PANTS, isn't she?!?

Shortly thereafter, Madeleine came to this decision: "Uh, Mama, I think I wanna play this game only with YOU, because it's more FUNNER with only you."

What can I say?  I'm just the most coveted player around in all these made-up games. 


The final game that Madeleine recently made up makes the least amount of sense to me.  This game is called "Loser."  Madeleine never even properly explained the instructions to me; she just started playing it on the way to pick up Julia and expected me to be able to join right in.

MADELEINE: Okay, Mama, you're SIX in loser.  Mama?  Why do you have to be a NUMBER in loser?
ME: Uh...I...uh, I don't even really know how you're supposed to play loser.
MADELEINE: Oh.  You just do Kung Fu!
ME: I don't even know how to do Kung Fu.
MADELEINE: Mama.  SERIOUSLY!?  You don't even KNOW that you do a FULL SPLIT?

I didn't know that.  But luckily, Madeleine demonstrated for me by jumping in the air and straddling her legs apart.  I guess NOW I must know Kung Fu.

Maybe next time I'll be able to participate a little more fully in "Loser."  Since I am pretty much an expert in losing to the girls when we play together, I bet I'll be pretty awesome at that game.