Monday, June 3, 2013

Questions and Teachers

These are the kinds of questions my girls think are urgently in need of an answer as I'm battling heavy traffic through major intersections and/or rushing to get someplace on time:

"Mama?  What color are LETTERS?"

"Mama?  What's homeless?"  (upon being told it means to have no house) "No, but what IS homeless? No, but WHAT is homeless?"

"Mama?  What if there was a rule that everyone who HAS a car is not allowed to drive, and only people who DON'T have cars would be allowed to drive?  What would that be like?"

"Mama?  What is that thing that can be GOOD or it can be HORRIBLE and it goes in a little cup and you DRINK it and it's like in a bath and the TOP can be off?  So, can you GUESS what it is?"

"Mama?  Why is it Sunday?"

"Mama Mama Mama look look look at that!  What IS that?"  (asked about many different things, all of which I couldn't safely turn my head to look at because I was driving.)

Curiosity is a beautiful thing.  It's unfortunate that I don't have all the answers to questions like "What does PINK spell?" because my kids are certainly hungry for explanations to all kinds of world mysteries.

On another note, now that the busy weekend is over, we are back into the regular routine, with Julia off at kindergarten and Madeleine using me as a place-holder friend to play with.  The fun-filled, action-packed game I got to partake in this afternoon was "School."  This is a game that Julia initiated with Madeleine, in which Julia is the teacher and Madeleine the student.  In typical big sister fashion, Julia is in charge of everything that goes on in the game, and in typical little sister fashion, Madeleine readily complies.  Part of their school game is for Julia to assign Madeleine Math Work (in elementary school speak, a "Math Must-Do.")  Julia sits with Madeleine to help her work through the addition and subtraction problems, so today, Madeleine got to take the happy leap from student to teacher, creating a math sheet all for ME to work on:


I was instructed to come sit down at the work table to complete my math must-do, and my teacher Madeleine sat down beside me to guide me through the problems.

MADELEINE: Okay, so, what does ten PLUS equal?
ME: Ten plus what?  Plus what number?
MADELEINE: Uh, Mama, can you guess TWELVE?
ME: Um...twelve??
MADELEINE: Yes!  Okay, Mama, draw a 2 in this box!
ME: (drawing a 2) Like this?
MADELEINE: Yes!  Okay, now I gotta make the 1... (drawing the 1 after the 2 to make not 12, but 21.)

My teacher sure knows the ways of the world.

After my math worksheet was complete, I was still not off the hook from playing school.

MADELEINE: Okaaaay!  Come to the rug!  It's MEDIA TIME!  (hopping and wriggling around)
ME: Do you need to go potty?
MADELEINE: No.  Uh...I will just go to the bathroom.  (running off)
ME: Okay.
MADELEINE: (shouting from the bathroom) Mama?   Uh...I mean...FRIEND?  Can you put the POTTY SEAT on?  Because...teachers need to use a POTTY SEAT.
ME: Okay!  (putting the potty seat on)
MADELEINE: Okay.  Now, can you get me on the potty, honey?
ME: (lifting her onto the potty)
MADELEINE: (peeing and then hopping down) Now can you wipe myself?
ME: Okay.  (wiping her)
MADELEINE: Mama?  Uh, FRIEND?  Pretend I speak in LANGUAGE.
ME: Okay.

She's such a brilliant teacher that she doesn't only speak English, she also speaks in LANGUAGE.  WOW.

After peeing, my teacher Madeleine was able to commence Media.  I got to sit on the rug while my teacher read a book to the class:


I got to listen to "The Rainbow Fish" like it's never been told before.  Complete with new dialogue.
MADELEINE: "Oh, NO!" cried the Rainbow Fish.  "What am I gonna do NOW??"

Let me tell you, it was a MUCH more dramatic version of the book than I have ever heard.

Luckily, I was finally able to make my escape once Madeleine was deep into the middle of reading "The Grinch."

ME: Um, teacher?  Can I please go get myself some coffee?
MADELEINE: Uh - YES.  Okay, kids, Media Time is over.  It's time for you to go get your COFFEE!

Freedom!

Despite growing weary of playing school, I have to say that I'm really looking forward to spending more time with the girls now that I'm finished with work for the school year.  Instead of rushing off to teach as soon as I've brought Julia home from school, we Rowe girls will now have free time in the afternoons to play together.  I hope Julia will come to understand that extra time with her is truly the best gift I can receive at the end of my teaching year, because she completely dissolved into a sobbing mess yesterday as she tried, in "secret," to make me a piano recital teacher gift, only to get stuck on the balloon letter "M":


I'm gathering this was supposed to say "I love you Mom," but when her "M" came out like a "W" all hope was lost.  Attempting to fix the current drawing was out of the question, as was starting anew on a fresh piece of paper.  It was just a total and utter failure.

My kids are NOT perfectionists.

2 comments:

  1. I remember when I used to put my kindergarten teacher on the potty and wipe her. Ah, the good old days.

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    Replies
    1. Right, not a perfectionist like you were!!!

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