MADELEINE: Mama? How can birds with NO WINGS fly?
ME: Well, birds without wings couldn't fly. A bird needs its wings to fly.
MADELEINE: Well Mama...it COULD, if you put HELIUM in it!
ME: It could float if you put helium in it. But to fly, you need wings. The only things that can fly have wings, like a plane has wings, and birds have wings, and some kinds of bugs have wings.
MADELEINE: Well Mama. What ELSE has wings?
ME: Well, a bat has wings.
MADELEINE: And OWLS have wings!
ME: Right, owls can fly, too.
MADELEINE: But Mama. Why does a squirrel have a BIG thing that looks like wings that's just a TAIL?
ME: Well, there is such thing as a flying squirrel.
MADELEINE: What a heck?!? A flying SQUIRREL?!?
ME: Yes, there's an animal called a flying squirrel.
MADELEINE: Well Mama. A flying squirrel sounds like it's NOT REALLY REAL.
ME: It is real. We can look at pictures on my computer tomorrow.
MADELEINE: But Mama. Why are squirrels scared of PEOPLE because people are so BIG?
ME: Well, because compared to a squirrel, people kind of look like giants.
MADELEINE: But Mama. Why are dinosaurs MEAT-EATERS?
ME: Some are meat-eaters. A T-Rex is a meat-eater. But some others, like the brachiosaurus - the dinosaur with the long, long neck - would eat plants or leaves off of trees, just like a giraffe.
MADELEINE: Well Mama. I know WHAT kind of animal would be a meat-eater: a LION!
ME: Yup, that's right.
MADELEINE: But...birds are NOT meat-eaters.
ME: Right.
(unless they are carrion scavengers...)
Conversation with Madeleine while I showered at the Y and she sat on a bench outside the stall:
MADELEINE: So Mama? What names am I going to have for MY kids when I grow up to be a mommy?
ME: Well, that's up to you. What names do you think you'd like to give your kids? Do you have any favorite names?
MADELEINE: Well Mama...is BUBBLES a name?
ME: Uh, yeah, I guess Bubbles can be a name.
MADELEINE: Is Glitter a name?
ME: What? Is River a name?
MADELEINE: No. Mama. GLITTER.
ME: Uh, no, Glitter is not a real name.
MADELEINE: Is RIVER a real name?
ME: Yes, it is.
MADELEINE: Mama. Is SHOWER a real name?
ME: Nope.
So I guess that narrows it down to Bubbles and River as my future grandchildren...
Conversation with Madeleine at home:
MADELEINE: (drawing in the air with her pointer finger) Okay, so, Mama. Guess what I DRAWED?
ME: I don't know. What?
MADELEINE: No, guess!
ME: Uh, a mermaid?
MADELEINE: Nope.
ME: A butterfly?
MADELEINE: Nope. Mama, I'll give you a hint. It has WAVES.
ME: Um...an ocean?
MADELEINE: (delighted) Yes!! (air-drawing again) Okay, NOW what did I drawed?
ME: Um...a mermaid?
MADELEINE: Nope. It has WINGS.
ME: A butterfly?
MADELEINE: Nope.
ME: A bird?
MADELEINE: (gleeful) Yes!! (air-drawing again and poking her fingers on the walls) Okay, Mama, guess what I drawed that makes DOTS and LINES?
ME: I have no idea.
MADELEINE: Uh, Mama, can you say "Hands?"
ME: Hands?
MADELEINE: (overjoyed) Yes!! (resuming the air-drawing) Okay, Mama, now guess what I drawed?
ME: Uh...a mermaid?
MADELEINE: Nope!
ME: Can you give me a hint?
MADELEINE: Uh, no. No HINTS on this drawing.
ME: Um...a...um...a butterfly?
MADELEINE: Okay Mama. I'll give you a hint. It's something who has a cousin that's DIEGO.
ME: Dora?
MADELEINE: (beaming) YES!!
I stunk at that game. I needed a hint on every drawing. If only she had drawn a mermaid or a butterfly, I would have been right on the money. But also, to be fair, her air "drawings" were about as useful as her "So Julia. Guess what I'm thinking about?" game.
Conversation with Madeleine after reading her a bedtime story about a mommy mouse who tells her baby mouse how much she loves him:
ME: Madeleine, did you know that this book was a present for you from Cynthia? She gave it to you when you turned one!
MADELEINE: Well Mama. I don't think it was my birthday present.
ME: It was! This is the book Cynthia gave you for your first birthday. Isn't that sweet? What a nice story, huh?
MADELEINE: Well Mama. I just don't like that...that...that...that OLD BORING book that has TWO MOUSES in it.
Oh. Okay. Way to tell it like it is, Madeleine. Beware, future shoppers of Madeleine's birthday gifts: she won't be afraid to shut them down if they're old and boring.
And, finally, Madeleine's explanation for why she couldn't wear her white sandals this morning when we were heading out to drop Julia off at school:
ME: Okay, Madeleine, come here and get your sandals on.
MADELEINE: (on the verge of panic) Uh, no, Mama! NOT my sandals! I need shoes that are ROYALTY!
ME: Well, get SOMETHING on your feet and do it quickly.
MADELEINE: (running up to her room to grab her sparkly pink dress shoes)
ME: Okay, quick, put them on!
MADELEINE: Well Mama. Do you know WHY I needed shoes that are ROYALTY? Because I'm a PRINCESS in my dress. So Mama. Do these shoes look like ROYALTY?
ME: They sure do. C'mon, let's get out the door.
Princess Madeleine, in her royalty
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