Questions, Questions

Getting ready for swim lessons this morning, Madeleine had an important question.

MADELEINE: Why do you always have to pack UNDERWEAR in the swim bag?
ME: Because.  When we change into your clothes after you take a shower, you need to put on underwear.
MADELEINE: Oh yeah!  Because if you didn't have underwear, then you would REALLY poop in your pants.

Yes.  That is the true reason why we wear underwear.  So that when we accidentally poop ourselves, the poop lands in our underwear and not our pants.  I'm so glad Madeleine has grasped the concept so thoroughly.

MADELEINE: Yeah, Mama, because...what if somebody was holding their POOP for too long, and the poop came OUT, and they weren't wearing underwear, so the poop went on their pants or their jeans??
ME: That would be terrible.
MADELEINE: Ugh.  Mama.  I don't LIKE the name terrible.
ME: Why not?
MADELEINE: I just don't LIKE how it sounds.

How dare I use a name that Madeleine doesn't like?  Next time I'll use a name she DOES like.  Luckily, I found out one of her preferred names during a discussion in the pool locker room today.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Why is Kermit a frog?
ME: Uh...because he is.
MADELEINE: And why are Muppets PUPPETS?
ME: Because Muppets are a very special kind of puppets made by a man named Jim Henson.
MADELEINE: Mama.  I thought you were going to say they were made by Jan Brett.
ME: Nope, by Jim Henson.
MADELEINE: But Mama?  I love Jan Brett books.  I *miss* reading Jan Brett books.
ME: Well, we have a few of her books at home, so you can always look through those if you'd like.
MADELEINE: We only have TWO.
ME: Well, we have two that she wrote, but we have another one that she illustrated.
MADELEINE: Mama?  I really LOVE the name "illustrated."

Okay.  Got it now.  Next time Madeleine envisions a scenario in which a person poops his or her pants or jeans, I will respond thusly: "That would be illustrated."

Madeleine and I discussed yet more words after she did her ginormous cannonball jumps off the diving block in swim lessons (all while yelling "CANNONBALL!" as she plunged in)

MADELEINE: Mama?  Did I make a TIDAL WAVE?
ME: You sure did.
MADELEINE: Mama?  Was it a major tidal wave, or a MINOR tidal wave?
ME: It was a major tidal wave!
MADELEINE: Mama?  I like to pretend minor tidal waves are babies, and major tidal waves are GROWN-UP waves.  And besides.  Why would I do BABY tidal waves?!?

Madeleine sure seems to want to do major cannonballs, but she certainly doesn't seem to want to do major pooping in the toilet.  Lately she has been doing totally MINOR poop.  But good thing I pack underwear for swim just in case she has a minor poop, right?

Meanwhile, Julia and I had a lengthy discussion not about words, but about her favorite Gallop Time mental fantasy: the Mintz family.

JULIA: (galloping with glee across the play basement, a huge smile spreading across her face)
ME: What are you thinking about while you gallop this time?
JULIA: The Mintz kids at SWIM TEAM practice.
ME: Oh.  Do they all do swim team?
JULIA: No.  Only Lily and Giuliana do swim team.
ME: Oh, okay.
JULIA: Because they're the only ones who are the right AGE to do swim team.
ME: But do the older ones swim at college?
JULIA: Uh, well Mom?  I like to pretend that my school actually has a middle school AND a high school AND a college AND a graduate school at it, so Jessica and Justina still go to that school for college.
ME: Oh.  So there's no swim team there, just at the Y?
JULIA: Yes. And Mommy?  I also think about the Mintz's FRIENDS.
ME: Oh, really?  Do their friends have names?
JULIA: (looking at me like I'm a dunce) Yeeees.  Of COURSE they have names!  One friend is named Marla, and she's in third grade, and another one is named Janet.
ME: With a-
JULIA: With a "J"!
ME: Okay.  So there's no Ganet any more.
JULIA: Right.

Wow.  Julia puts some SERIOUS thought into her Gallop Time imaginings.  No wonder she needs to set aside special time each day to gallop.  Otherwise, how would things develop in the Mintz world??

If Madeleine ever comes up with an imaginary Gallop Time thought-world, I wonder what her characters' names would be.  I can guess that one would be called Illustrated, since Madeleine really LOVES that name, but I'm not sure about any of the other characters.  We can be certain there will be no Terrible, though!