For some reason, when Julia goes into the bathroom to poop, it becomes social hour. Ironically, she must have the door closed in order to poop peacefully (though thankfully she no longer needs to strip off all her clothes in order to go), yet she feels the urgent need to chatter away at me the entire time she is in the bathroom behind closed doors. And it doesn't just stop at chatter. She wants a whole conversation. If I don't respond, she'll continue yelling through the door, asking my opinion on whatever she is talking about, or sometimes, lucky me, waiting for my answer to some guessing game she made up. This morning was an especially blabby one.
JULIA: (from behind the closed bathroom door) MAMA? Sometimes, when I'm wearing my clothes on the potty, I wish I didn't have my shirt on, because I'm worried the sleeves will get in the potty. But when I'm wearing short sleeves like my jammies today, I feel happy, because then I know my sleeves WON'T go in the toilet.
ME: Oh. Great.
JULIA: Yeah. MAMA? Did you know that yesterday, when me and Madeleine were outside with Tamara, we saw a SPIDER on the slide? And I didn't just go down the slide, I waited until the spider moved, and THEN I went down the slide.
ME: Oh. That was smart of you.
JULIA: Yeah. Because I'm not SCARED of spiders anymore, but I think my SISTER might me.
ME: Oh, I see. (Wondering whether or not she would pause in her chatter so I could start grinding the coffee beans without offending her.)
JULIA: Yeah, and sometimes, when I'm in my bed, and when I was maybe three, I would think there was a TYRANNOSAURUS REX-
COFFEE GRINDER: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
JULIA: And I think that maybe it's too scary for my sister so we should wait until she's older.
ME: (silence)
JULIA: So CAN YOU, MAMA? Can you GUESS what it is?
ME: (racking my brain, trying to imagine her thought process... something scary that Madeleine has to wait for... a movie perhaps...) Uh... "The Dark Crystal?"
JULIA: YES! Because do you know what Madeleine might be scared of?
ME: Uh, the Skekses?
JULIA: YES! Even though we're loving Skekses!
-A little interjection here - Julia decided some time ago that ours is a family of loving Skekses. But that is a subject for a different day and a different blog article.-
ME: Oh, yeah, we are.
JULIA: Yeah, because we-
COFFEE GRINDER: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
JULIA: And that's what I used to think. MAMA! I'm gonna START now!
ME: Start wiping?
JULIA: Uh-huh! Mama, did you know that I really don't like it when I feel like I have to poop or pee when I JUST started playing? Because I know then it's going to be a long time that I'm in the bathroom, just sitting there, because sometimes I think I'm done but then I STILL have to poop-
COFFEE GRINDER: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
JULIA: Okay, Mama? Mama? MAMA? Come see my POOP!
ME: Wow! You did a foot long.
JULIA: Yeah. But Mama, did you know I used to think it was called a FOOT LOG?
ME: Yes, I remember that.
JULIA: Yeah, because, well, Mama, a poop DOES kind of look like a LOG.
ME: Okay, how's it going with your wiping?
JULIA: (hopping around, bare-bummed, in the kitchen) Uh, I didn't start yet.
ME: Okay, please wipe and wash your hands.
JULIA: (hopping around inside the bathroom, bare-bummed.) Mama? Did you know-
ME: JULIA. WIPE. WASH YOUR HANDS.
JULIA: Oooookaaaaaaay.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This entire thing craacked me up. I especially liked what the coffee grinder had to say on the subject matter....and the fact that it didn't phase Julia's endless chatter for even a second. AND the fact that you were able to still manage to guess the appropriate response to whatever the heck it was she was thinking/talking about at the time!
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