The Return of the Contrary

I have a Julia, Julia Quite Contrary on my hands this morning.

ME: Come here, Julia, let me do your hair.
JULIA: (whining) I want you to do it in heeeeeere, Mommy.
ME: Julia, I'm thinking you're not going to do Lunch Bunch today, because you're acting way too cranky and contrary, and I think going to Lunch Bunch will just be too much for you.
JULIA: Fine, Mommy, everything you want me to do, I'll do it.
ME: Then please come here so I can do your hair.
JULIA: Mommy, you should just RIP my hair out!
ME: Julia, this is the kind of contrary behavior I'm talking about.
JULIA: No, Mommy, you're being mean to me! We're being mean to each other! We're FIGHTING!
ME: I'm not being mean to you, Julia. I've been very nice to you all morning. But you're being very cranky to me.
JULIA: Fine, Mama. You should just EAT me.

This contrary behavior is the result of a nasty cold she's had for the past four or five days; not only is she feeling lousy during the day, but her sleep has been very interrupted. She is not a pro at blowing her own nose yet, and has been waking us up multiple times per night needing water for her coughing fits or needing her nose blown. And yesterday during the day, we discovered who was the true champion nose-blower in the house:

JULIA: Mama, can you blow my nose?
ME: (helping her blow her nose and then wiping it.)
JULIA: Mama, why do you always yank? Daddy doesn't yank.
ME: I guess Daddy's just better at blowing noses than I am.
JULIA: (consolingly) Yeah, yeah, Mama, you're right. Daddy does a better job at blowing my nose than you do.

Harsh.