Madeleine Got Back

So, this morning started off with an unexpected request from Madeleine.

MADELEINE: Mom?  What's funny?
ME: What's funny?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  What's funny?
ME: Hmmm.  (thoughtful)

Madeleine clearly felt the need to guide her slow-witted mother towards the right answer.  She decided to prompt me.

MADELEINE: Mom?  TICKLING is not funny.
ME: Tickling is not funny?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  Tickling is not funny.  What's funny?
ME: Hmmmm...

WAY too slow on the uptake, Mom.  Madeleine was compelled to help me even further.

MADELEINE: Mom?  Can you say: "I like big BUTTS and I can not lie!"
ME: "I like big BUTTS and I can not lie.  You other brothers can't deny."
MADELEINE: (cracking up) That's FUNNY!

Yes.  Yes, blog readers.  I am ashamed to admit that I, like Ross and Rachel on "Friends," once sang that opening line to my girls to make them laugh.

And they have never forgotten it since.

To make it all worse, Madeleine could NOT let the subject go this morning.

MADELEINE: Hey Mom?  Remember this?  "I like big BUTTS and I can not lie!  Other brothers...can...not...lie."
ME: I do remember.

Literally, two seconds later:
MADELEINE: Hey Mom?  Remember this?  "I like big BUTTS and I can not lie!  Other brothers...can...not...lie."

Literally, two seconds later:
MADELEINE: Hey, Julia?  Remember this?   "I like big BUTTS and I can not lie!  Other brothers can not LIE!
JULIA: I knoooow, Madeleine.  Can you STOP saying that?

Proud parenting moment, here.  Of all the hundreds of songs I have sung to my children, I am *so* glad that this is one of the stand-outs.  Don't forget to subtract extra parenting points for the fact that I *know* my kids think butts are hilarious, and I chose to introduce them to the opening line of "Baby Got Back" anyway.

Luckily, Madeleine had thoughts other than butts on her mind later this morning.  After Julia's swim lesson, Madeleine opted not to do her usual activity of coloring in her My Little Pony book while Julia showered, and instead decided to stand outside the shower and provide Julia with conversation and entertainment.  She even came up with an absolutely riveting guessing game.

MADELEINE: Julia, now tell me, what am I thinking about? (scrunching up her face and squinting her eyes mysteriously.)
JULIA: Umm...are you thinking that your shirt says SIMBA because it begins with an S?  Because it DOESN'T.  It says "Sassy."
MADELEINE: No, that's not what I'm thinking.  I'm thinking of a HOT DOG!

A few moments later, Julia had her own thought in mind.

JULIA: Okay, Madeleine, what am I thinking about?
MADELEINE: (bright with hope) Um, a hot dog?
JULIA: Nope.  I'm thinking that I'm SO excited to go to Atlanta on vacation!

Madeleine didn't care to talk about vacation.  She was ready to jump right on back into the game.

MADELEINE: Okay.  Julia, so tell me.  What am I thinking about?
JULIA: A hot dog?
MADELEINE: (delighted) YES!!!

Man, you've got to be a genius to keep up with Madeleine's thought process.  What a great brain workout.

Of course, talking about hot dogs led Madeleine to start dancing around the locker room singing "Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog!" until she wiped out on the wet floor and got sad because the knees of her pants got soaked.

But, hey.  At least she wasn't singing "Baby Got Back."