A Reflection on Genes

As Madeleine is getting older and really coming into her own as a person, it's extremely interesting, as a parent, to see the ways in which she and Julia are similar and in which they differ greatly.  Clearly, both girls don't hesitate to transplant themselves into fantasy land no matter where we are, and neither is shy about bellowing out made-up songs as we stroll through the grocery store or do puzzles in the quiet library.  On the other hand, Julia is so averse to telling an untruth that she went through a phase of paralyzing fear when asked even the simplest of opinions:

ME: Julia, did you have a good day at school today?
JULIA: (hesitating nervously) Um...do YOU think I had a good day?

This was coupled with the phase of feeling the compulsive need to recant her statements if she wasn't 100% sure she deeply and passionately felt something:

AUNTIE SHANNON: Julia, I'm so sad I have to leave!  I'm gonna miss you so much!
JULIA: I'm gonna miss you too.  Um...actually...um...I'm not SURE if i'm going to miss you.

Then we have Madeleine, who will confidently assert to me, "Mama, don't worry, I'm SURE I won't fall down!" as she takes off running down the sidewalk, only to completely face-plant a few steps later.  But does that stop her from taking off running once again, assuring me of her certainty that she won't fall?  Nope, and neither will she grow more hesitant after the next face-plant.  Madeleine really knows how to seize the bull by the horns as she barrels her way through life.

Another thing that interests me, as a parent, is the realization that so much of a child's personality and skills seem to be genetic.  There are many inherent skills our girls seem to have, and several difficulties, that clearly come from one parent or the other.  One glaring example is Madeleine's artistic prowess and fine motor skills.  Ethan himself has a lot of artistic skill, whereas I can't even cut in a straight line.  Madeleine absolutely, most definitely does not share any of my fine motor (dis)abilities.  In case you think I'm exaggerating, let's just take a look here at a book I made in THIRD GRADE:

Eight years old, and I can't even color in my OWN lines that I drew.  And let's not even talk about that flying turd with octopus legs that's supposed to be a camel.

Contrast this with my 3.5 year old Madeleine's ability to color in the lines:

Julia doesn't seem to have the same mind-blowing artistic power that Madeleine does, but I can say with certainty that even she, in kindergarten, can draw a person better than this:

Aside from the turd-shaped camel, what on earth made me think a little girl would tower like a giant over a camel?!?

Then there's the whole issue of sleeping.  Ethan falls asleep so easily he's practically a narcoleptic, while I have suffered from insomnia for the majority of my life.

Here's a picture of Madeleine when I went in to check on her last night:

Meanwhile, Julia was in and out of her room for at least the next hour, then announced to me triumphantly as I came downstairs this morning, "Mom, I woke up at FIVE-EIGHTEEN this morning!  I didn't know how to put on the shows we usually watch, so I just put on Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood."

Enough said.

Another thing I seem to have passed on to Julia, besides the difficulty sleeping, is an interest in language and a love of writing.  I was a total Julia as a kid.  I probably used up as much printer paper writing my own little books as Julia does now.  Granted, I never wrote anything as captivating as "Well That Kid Wasn't Poty Chrand Eauf," but isn't it every mother's dream to see her child excel beyond what she herself was able to do??

In the area of athletics, it's a mixed bag.  Ethan has INCREDIBLE balancing skills.  He also has great technical ability, and spent most of his youth ski racing.  I think, unfortunately, I have granted our children with my terrible balance and complete lack of grace.  As many of you know, I am a runner, and I think Madeleine shares the long-distance running interest.  Every single day, she runs both to and home from Julia's school when we go for pick-up.  She also wipes out an average of 4-5 times per trip.  I still wipe out, myself, when I'm out running.  I mean, you've seen the gymnastics and ballet videos, folks.  Our kids definitely seem to share their mommy's utter lack of poise.

And then there's the musical realm.  Both girls LOVE music.  That comes as no surprise, but it's also hard to say which parent they most resemble in this area.  I mean, I studied music composition, but Ethan is the one who tends to walk all over the house singing without even realizing he's singing.  So when Julia is playing with magnet people and bellowing away a made-up song, I can't say for sure which parent she is more like:



Another thing both Ethan and I seem to have passed along is our perfectionism.  As much as I wish both girls could feel pride about everything they do, unfortunately, they both have a tendency to be hard on themselves for ridiculous reasons.

Yesterday Madeleine had a complete melt-down over this:

"Mommy!  I need you to make an O for me!" (pointing at the "o" in "mom")  That's NOT an O!  I can't make an O!  That's...that's...that's...that's NOT an O.  That's a HEAD!"

And this morning, Julia had a complete melt-down because the pumpkin paper-bag puppet she randomly decided to make, in her words, "DOESN'T look CUTE!"

Personally, I think this pupkin is REALLY cute, but maybe I'm just a biased mom.

And, finally, while both girls are their own worst critics, they do both share a love of performing, whether it's a dance show or a music recital.  In fact, Julia is SO excited about her kindergarten class's upcoming performance in a June school assembly that she has been giving me previews of her class's song already.  For those of you who want a sneak peek, I got her to sing it on video today:




No matter what skills they possess and what they have in common with me, one thing is for absolute certain: I love those little klutzy singing paper-wasters with all of my klutzy insomniac heart.