Big Girls, Driving Disasters, and New Songs

I guess being around a bunch of adult relatives and a teacup chihuahua this weekend threw Madelene back into a tailspin of confusion, because she no longer stands firm in her conviction that she is a big girl.  As she put it to me, with perfect clarity, this morning: "Mommy, I'm just a little girl, because I can talk out of my little outlet hole."

Her big girl status does not appear to be the only thing she's confused about today.  As we got ready to head out to Framingham to bring our car in for an oil change, Madeleine announced to me out of her little outlet hole, "Yeah, we need to get in the car because we have to drive all the way to Atlanta!"

Poor kid.  A weekend away with so much crazy stimulation seems to have done a number on her powers of logical reasoning.

Speaking of powers of logical reasoning, the kids got a taste of their own mother's lack of said powers, as I drove around for an hour like a buffoon through Framingham and surrounding towns trying to find our Kia dealership.  It would have really helped if I had been on the correct road, but unfortunately my befuddled brain got mixed up as to which major road the dealership sits on, and, genius that I am, I seemed to think that if I just kept reversing direction on Route 9 and driving by the exact same scenery over and over again, the dealership would magically appear before me.  By the time I realized I actually needed to be on an entirely different road altogether, we were over a half hour late for our appointment.  Lucky for me, the kids were not only extremely patient with my display of buffoonery, but they were also my support group of cheerleaders in the backseat.

ME: Oh my goodness, I have NO idea where this place is.  We're so late.  I am just TOTALLY lost.
JULIA: Well, it's okay, Mama, don't be worried.  Once we find the Kia dealership you'll feel JUST FINE!

At certain points, I enlisted Julia's help in searching for street numbers, since I knew the address of the place we were going and knew we needed to find #510.  It would have helped if I had actually been on the correct road, but, again, I was still in dunce mode.  Julia tried her darndest to follow the numbers as we zoomed by various buildings on Route 9.

JULIA: Well, Mama, I saw five zero EIGHT!
ME: Oh, yeah, thanks honey.  That's actually just the area code for Framingham phone numbers.  But keep looking, please!
JULIA: Well, THERE'S Plaster Fun Time!
ME: What number does it say?
JULIA: Well, it's just Plaster Fun Time.
ME: But is there a number?
JULIA: No, because it's Plaster Fun Time!  Well, what is THAT place?  Mama, do you think that's WHATEVER Fun Time because I don't know WHAT that building is?

I was a bit too preoccupied to look and see if the building she was gazing at was indeed Whatever Fun Time.

Once I finally discovered the road I was actually supposed to be on, I felt marginally calmer, though exponentially more annoyed with my idiocy.  I am truly not one to berate myself in front of my children, but I just couldn't help myself at this moment.  Thankfully, I had Julia's Power of Positive Thinking to steer me back on track.

ME: Okay.  We're finally on the right road.  We're going to be really, really late thanks to your big dope of a mother!
JULIA: (sweetly) Mama, you're NOT a dope!
ME: Well, you gotta admit, Jules, this was pretty dopey of me.
JULIA: Mama.  I don't think you're a dope.
ME: Well, I sure think I am.
JULIA:  Mama.  Who of any of your friends would ever call you a dope?
ME: I'm pretty sure all of them, if they were stuck in the car with me driving all around on the wrong road.
JULIA: Well, Mama, which ONES would say that?

Before I could get into which people would probably think I was a dope, we came upon the dealership, which felt like arriving in paradise at this point.  The girls technically understood that we were going to our Kia dealership, but I guess they didn't quite understand that such a dealership would be stocked full of cars like ours.  They both gazed around in wonder at all the other Kia vehicles.

JULIA: (delighted) MAMA!  I see a KIA SOUL!
MADELEINE: That's just like OUR CAR!
JULIA: (looking in the other direction) MAMA!  ANOTHER KIA SOUL!
MADELEINE: That's just like OUR CAR!

And so on.

In the end, I am so thankful for my little buddies in the backseat, cheering me along and not judging my ridiculous inability to find a place I have been to multiple times in the past and whose address I had in my phone.  I am even more thankful for their absolutely wonderful behavior in the waiting area while our car was serviced.  They both happily colored away in their "My Little Pony" books, with Madeleine obliviously bellowing out made-up songs as she colored, never once complaining about the wait or the length of our car drive there or home.  I think Madeleine TOTALLY earns her big girl stripes for being so patient and never once whining out of her outlet hole.

Speaking of made-up songs, Julia went on a manic song-writing/singing spree this afternoon in the bath, and I daresay some of her new songs rival those on her first "Goldens" CD.   Since I was scrubbing the bathroom as the girls bathed, I wasn't able to record any of her tub-inspired songs, but she did sing a couple of new tunes for me after she was clean, dried, and in her pjs:



Perhaps Dunkin' Donuts would be interested in hiring Julia as their new jingle writer.  She certainly produces some catchy tunes out of that outlet hole of hers.