Snow Day

Today the girls and I are house-bound, thanks to the raging snowstorm outside.  No school, no swim lessons, and no work for the day.  Being home with the kids has given me plenty of opportunity to record amusing snippets of conversation.  Here are a few of the best:

MADELEINE: Mom?  Do you think "in-LAW" means just TWO sisters?  Because Twilight Sparkle thinks that.
ME: Well, "in-law" means, like, because Daddy is married to ME, Auntie Shannon and Auntie Caitlyn are his sisters-in-law.  They're not his sisters that he grew up with, but they're his sisters through marriage to me.
MADELEINE: (thoughtful) And Mom?  How about YOU?  Are YOU married to anyone?

My. God.  She is a genius.

The kid who doesn't know who I'm married to can alternatively pull out the big vocab words during her pretend play:

MADELEINE: (with her Wow! Car figurine) I'm going HOME!  Because I feel SELF-CONSCIOUS.

Meanwhile, Julia has been on a cleaning streak over at the play kitchen, unearthing some long-missing toys and trinkets from underneath the play stove.

JULIA: Cleaning is amazing sometimes, Madeleine, let me tell you.  But I want YOU to figure that out for YOURSELF.
MADELEINE: How did you find all that STUFF?
JULIA: (sighing) Well, I guess I'm amazing, Madeleine.

A few moments later...

JULIA: (holding up the play-soap dispenser) Hey Mommy! I finally found the SOAP that goes with the play kitchen!
ME: Oh, wow!  That soap has been missing for a long time.
MADELEINE: (wisely) We haven't had it for ONE HUNDRED years!
JULIA: (scathing) We wouldn't be ALIVE, Madeleine.


Now, of course, they have moved on from cleaning to making messes, having just raided the dress-up bin in order to play "Harry Potter."

Madeleine is being Ginny, though I think her impish look makes her more of a Fred or a George, or maybe Peeves the ghost:

And Julia is, predictably, Hermione, though she's not wearing her Gryffindor costume.  Instead, she is dressed up as Hermione at the Yule Ball.  Take a look at these snazzy witches!:

Expecto Patroooooonum!

Julia's First Grade Book

Julia and her classmates worked hard writing and illustrating their very own stories last week, and today, each student got to bring his or her book home.  Julia's story is on a subject she knows very well:

First

The Grade

(aka The First Grade)

by Julia Rowe

I would like to point out that the first graders that MY first grader drew are better illustrations than I myself made in my FIFTH grade "Young Authors" school stories.  I have said it before: my kids have not inherited their artistic abilities from me.

Inside the book is an "About the Author" page:

So, Julia lives in Neebham.  I guess Madeleine is not the only person in the house who is confused by lower case "d" versus "b."

Also, I'm a little surprised that her favorite school snack is donuts.  As far as I know, she has never actually had donuts as a school snack.  I would have guessed that Goldfish are her favorite school snack.  But maybe she's just exerting her wishes here.  Hint, hint, Mom.  I want you to pack me DONUTS for snack.  NOT friggin' Goldfish.


Here comes the story, all about first grade:

"On the frist day of frist grad.  Jasper and Fern ware so exsited."

Oh.  Wait.  I thought this book was about first grade.  Sorry.  Apparently it's about the frist day of frist grad.  At any rate, I am *definitely* exsited to read more!

"Thare techer Miss Winse led them in.  Fern felt old.  'Now class,' said Miss Winse.  'We shall leirn the roles."

Leave it to Julia to have roles be the most important thing about frist grad.  Julia has ALWAYS been a strict role-follower herself.  Unlike her often role-breaking little sister.

"Fern wisperd to Jasper 'This is hard.  But it is fun,' she said.  'Now Fern roule five is no wisporing.  Now exsplane yourself."

Oh, no, Fern!  Now you REALLY got yourself in hot water!  You broke roule number five, and I can see from the illustration that you're getting put in the dreaded "Take A Break" chair!

"I-I was saying your the best techer ever,' Fern said.  'Thank you,' said Miss Winse.  When they were done at schoole the bus came."

WOAH.  Niiiiice job, Fern.  Way to smooth-talk your way out of the "Take a Break" chair!  High five!  (Miss Winse seems to be easily manipulated, if you ask me.)

"Fern and Jasper got good nouse.  They were the best roule folwers ever."

Hooray!  The best ending ever!
Ohhh, Julia, and your randomly applied, unnecessary silent "e"s.


At the end of the book, there is this special authorial dedication:

This book is dedicated to: my family and my aunt's dog Clara
because: my mom gave me my speshel wall stikers for me.

That's right, folks.  This book is dedicated to Julia's family - AND Auntie Shannon's dog - all because I bought special wall stickers for her for Christmas. You're welcome, fellow family members.  I'm happy to be of service.  I intend to buy Julia future Christmas gifts so that you can all get a book dedicated to you next year as well.

The Dreaded Stomach Bug

Since having kids, hardly a school year has gone by without at least one middle-of-the-night puke fest from one of the girls.  This year is no exception.  The culprit last night was Madeleine, who wound up vomiting in her bed around midnight. 

That was NOT her only vomiting episode.  However, thank heavens, it WAS the only vomiting that occurred in the bed.  Madeleine had the foresight throughout the rest of the night to anticipate the vomit and let me know she needed to throw up in time for me to hold the garbage bin out for her.  Before each vomiting episode, Madeleine was a miserable, crying mess.  AFTER each vomiting episode, she was a chipper little chatterbox, clearly feeling immense relief over emptying her stomach. 

After one such puking, I brought Madeleine downstairs to clean her face and give her a sippy cup of water.  She started to guzzle the water down, obviously thirsty, but I had to hold her off so she didn't make herself barf again.  Instead, I told her I would give her a few more sips of water after we got up to her bedroom.  We started climbing the stairs, Madeleine scampering up on hands and knees in front of me.

MADELEINE: Mom?  Don't forget my WATER!
ME: I won't, but you have to go slow, honey, so you don't throw up again.

Next thing I knew, Madeleine began moving in slow-motion, sluggishly clomping her way up the stairs.

Close, honey.  I meant slow with the drinking of the water.  I didn't mean that you literally need to proceed like a sloth up the stairs to avoid puking.

Around 6am, I was in Madeleine's room with her again, holding the trash can underneath her face as she barfed into it.  Julia chose this moment to come bursting into the bedroom, then stood in shocked silence in the doorframe for a few minutes.  I was actually so focused on Madeleine that I didn't realize we had another little friend in the room with us.

MADELEINE: (barfing into the garbage can)
ME: Do you need to throw up more?
JULIA: (breaking her silence) What, does she have a STOMACH BUG or something??
ME: (hissing) Yes!  Get out!  I don't want you getting her germs!

Madeleine was able to get up and about for a bit this morning, before becoming frighteningly befuddled from sickness and fever.  This is the comment that convinced me she needed to get back up in her bed and take a nap:

MADELEINE: (standing up shakily) Mom?  Those little PINK things that are floating around in the air?  I keep trying to GRAB them, but when I grab them with my hands, they just FLOAT away!

So, yeah.  That was my signal that she wasn't well enough to be on her feet.  I took her up to her bedroom and snuggled her in bed, and she eventually fell asleep, but not before babbling away about all things under the sun.

Normal Madeleine is a kook enough as it is, so the line between everyday Kooky Madeleine and Madeleine-Experiencing-Delirium is kind of blurred.  However, this is the last thing she uttered to me before conking out:

MADELEINE: Mom?  It feels like I have BUMBLEBEES in my mouth.  I can feel it BUZZING.

Yikes.  This kid is having all sort of weird kinesthetic experiences while ill.  Thankfully, after a nap and a dose of ibuprofen, she is much more stable and has ceased seeing and feeling things that don't exist.  We're having a low-key day over here in the Rowe household, although I'm certainly feeling that little shard of dread in the pit of my stomach as I wait to see who else falls sick and starts puking.  'Tis the season for germy kids, I suppose!  And, hey, with all barf puddles but one landing in the trash can, I can definitely assert that it could have been worse.

Wishing you all a healthy, germ-free, puke-free Sunday!

Morning Artwork

Madeleine has been coloring nearly non-stop this morning.  Among her many artistic masterpieces are this stunning self-portrait:

Wow!  I mean, it looks *so* much like Madeleine I'm surprised I even had to ask her what she had drawn.


ME: So Madeleine, can you tell me what you drew here?
MADELEINE: It's a picture of me. 
ME: Oh.  And what are you wearing?
MADELEINE: Um, GLASSES.  I just bought them.  In the picture, I bought them, because I thought I might like it. 
ME: What else is on your face?
MADELEINE: Um, so TWO marks, that are really STAMPS.  They're PIRATE stamps.  The circles are my EARS.  I have two ponytails, and I growed BANGS in the picture.
ME: What made you decide to draw yourself with glasses?
MADELEINE: I just wanted to.  I thought I wanted to be like a GRANDPA.

Well, she sure achieved her goal.  It totally looks like Grandpa Madeleine.  Not like a Frankenstein-like experimental head with wandering eyeballs.


Madeleine also drew this deceptively innocent picture:

As I said on facebook, this could easily be interpreted as a picture of a zombie next to a tombstone.  And the creepy backwards letters?  Shiver.  How about the many-bladed machete hands?? 

But, no, believe it or not, this is just a simple picture of a little girl out enjoying the snowfall.


MADELEINE: So, there's a DOOR, and there's SNOW in the front, and these are CLOUDS (pointing at the blue scribbles up top), and I know that these are the letters (pointing to "I love it see"), and this is a kid named Emma, (pointing at the zombie). and she LOVES the snow.  And her boots are deep in the snow.  And THAT'S her coat, that is fluffy.  And her hood is over her hair.  And she has two side bangs.  One.. (falling over and crashing into the little metal garbage can, but continuing to talk nevertheless) side bang goes on her eye.  All of the LUMPY STUFF is the snow.

Yipes.  I would NOT want to see what's behind that door.  To reference Julia's Barbie doll song from the other day, "A door, a door, I don't wanna be a door."  I don't even want to be anywhere near that door.

Something tells me Madeleine has a brilliant career awaiting her in costume and set design for the horror film industry.

Singing Maniacs

The girls have been singing machines tonight, cycling through everything from Paul Simon to Christmas carols.  In the middle of eating dinner, we were all treated to an impromptu concert.  The singing continued well afterwards, making the house a nice, loud center of chaos.

I finally thought to get my camera out and capture one of their songs on camera.  Here they are, singing "Cecilia":



How wonderful that my young daughters are bellowing out the words "making love!" and singing about a man coming back to bed to find someone else has taken his place.  Great influence on my kids, Simon & Garfunkel.  Sheesh.


Now, I know that was a pretty wonderful performance, but I'm not sure anything can top this song that Madeleine made up while playing Barbies:




I am digging this passionate ballad, how about you?  I looooove Jeeeeesus!  I looooove Jeeeeeesus!  Rock ON, Madeleine.

Julia Explores 1784

Julia has been reading a bunch of the "Kirsten: An American Girl" books over the past few weeks, and apparently her interest in these books has inspired her to write her OWN historical novel.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

"Meet Satfier."
1784


JULIA: You know, her name is Satfier, like the shade of red?
ME: Well, a sapphire is blue, actually.
JULIA: Oh.  Wait.  Then is it "Astrid" that's a shade of red?


I honestly have no idea what she is thinking of.


Aaaaanyway, are you ready to find out about Satfier's amazing journey, way back in 1784??
Read on!:

"Satfier's long braid smakt her face in the wind as the horeses pelld the wagon from the long gernie to Texsis from Atlantas.  But Satfier wanted to exsplor the world."

I guess Julia doesn't realize that Texsis was not called Texsis back in 1784, and was not actually a recognized area of land within what is now the USA.  But, hey, the characters are coming from Atlantas, which, as far as I know, is a city that doesn't actually exist, so maybe we can all be free to suspend our disbelief in this story.  I'm ready to find out more about Satfier exsploring the world!

"Finily they reacht Texsis.  'Were are we staying?' ask't Satfier.  'In a cabin made of logs and youv met your casans.  And they live here."

I wonder if their casans are Naduv Amerikans?  Or perhaps Naduv Mexsicans?  Satfier and her family are looking a little too Nordic to be related to those inhabitants of what we now call Texsis back in 1784.  Hmm.

"Satfier's sister Astrid said 'I miss Atlantis.'  'So do I,' said Satfier's other sister Lisbeth."

I think *I* might miss Atlantis too if I had to move from there into the Wild, Wild West before it even was the Wild, Wild West.

And as if Satfier and her family needed any MORE reason to miss Atlantis:

"They reicht the cabin.  All of asuddin, clouds moved in and it got windy.  'It a tornado,' said Mama and Papa."

Oh, NO!  All of asuddin??  It a tornado!  Help!  Run for your lives!!

(I suppose this is terribly perverse of me, but I can't help but think that this picture looks like a belt with a...um...sheath hanging off of it.)


Speaking of, Madeleine is holding her own in the category of "my kids and their unintentionally phallic drawings."  She came home from school having made this free art:

ME: Madeleine, what did you make here?
MADELEINE: Oh!  I didn't FINISH it.  It's supposed to be the OUTSIDE.  Outside of town.

Or outside of pants.  Or severed finger.  You decide!

Julia's MLK Day Pledge

Julia brought this classwork home the other day:

"I can make the world a better plase by not litoring."

I love the sentiment, Jules!  I also love the suspense of the drawing she did: a girl is standing by a trash can, looking somewhat solemn, holding a piece of garbage.  Will she or won't she throw it in the trash?  Or will she litor?  I can see the weight of the moral decision upon the girl's face.  (I also really like the fact that Julia is starting to experiment with more advanced facial features in her drawings.  Although I'll miss her cute little dot eyes and semi-circle smiling mouths.)

One thing I find amusingly ironic, however, is the choice of not litoring as Julia's good deed.  One of the items on Auntie Shannon's task list that Julia has yet to master is remembering to throw her wrappers away.  So we have not even conquered "not litoring" within our own house.  But, hey, good intentions, right?  I'm sure we'll eventually move from having the mere intention of not litoring to actually picking up the piece of trash and throwing it in the garbage, don't you think??

Another way in which Julia is making MY world better is by providing me with plenty of new music in our household.  This morning, before school, Julia was an on-the-spot composer, as well as singer, as she played with the Barbie dollhouse.

While I wish I could have captured all of her songs on video, I can at least provide you with a few masterpieces from this morning:







Boxes, boxes, glorious biloxes! 
A floor, a floor, I'd rather be a floor!  (Well, maybe it would be not that comfortable...)