Swim Weekend

These kids swam the heck out of a two-day Trials and Finals invitational!

They had Trials both yesterday morning and this morning, with Finals for those who qualified in the late afternoons.  Somehow, despite having swam multiple events in the morning, the girls managed to then break their best times in Finals!

Among the events they made Finals in were 50 freestyle (Madeleine), 100 breast stroke (Julia), 100 freestyle (Madeleine), 200 IM (Julia) and 100 butterfly (both girls.)

My favorite quote of the weekend:

MADELEINE: 100 fly is the event where I think, "Can I actually DIE in the water?"

I don't blame her.  It looks EXHAUSTING!

My second favorite quote, after Julia saw Madeleine chattering away to a High School aged former teammate from the Y:

JULIA: Madeleine, what were you chattering about?
MADELEINE: Goldfish flavors!

Congrats on a great swim weekend, girls!!

Insect Fair

Yesterday was the Fourth Grade Insect Fair, and Madeleine got to debut her "Interstelfly!"  Each student got to create an insect and give it some wild and whimsical properties.  The Interstelfly puts on a "Galaxy Show" with the boy flies when it's an adult.  It lights up as EVERY color of the galaxy!

Madeleine sas been working hard on the construction of this insect for the past month, and because she's so naturally artistic, I didn't have to lend a pinky finger to aid in this project.  Score!

The most exciting part of the Insect Fair, in Madeleine's eyes, was the presentation of songs that the kids had worked on.  For the first song, Madeleine had an important role.  Or, in her words, an actually NOT very important role.

MADELEINE: I volunteered to be the chrysalis!  Except...it's not really that exciting.  I just, like, hold a blanket and WRAP it around the caterpillar.

Take a look and see her in this break-out role:




The song Madeleine was MOST excited for was the following, "Never Argue With a Bee."  I remembered this one from Julia's 4th grade Insect Fair, but Madeleine made sure I didn't spoil the surprise for Ethan.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  Do you remember "Never Argue With a Bee?"
ME: Yes.
MADELEINE: And do you remember what the SURPRISE was?
ME: Yes.
MADELEINE: What?
ME: (telling her the surprise)
MADELEINE: Right.  Okay.  Mommy.  DON'T.  TELL.  ANYONE.

I didn't, so that Ethan got to enjoy the unexpected, which you too can enjoy in the video below:




Now that the Insect Fair is over, Madeleine is no longer a chrysalis and is back to being a regular old Gelfling:

I mean, it was only a matter of time, right?

Madeleine Quotes

Recent memorable conversations with Madeleine


1.) In the car on our way home from a swim meet on Saturday

MADELEINE: Daddy?  Which do you think is more important?  Body heat, or the pursuit of HAPPINESS?




2.) Saying good-bye to her friend as we left a play-date.

FRIEND: See you tomorrow!
MADELEINE: See you tomorrow, unless you die!
ME: (to the dad, who I have met only once before, briefly) Uh...wow. Sorry.  On that note...uh, thank you, see you later!




3.) Talking about upcoming exciting events

MADELEINE: Mommy?  Whenever there's, like, an important event come up, in the weeks before it, I just tell myself, "Don't get sick, don't get sick, don't get sick."
ME: Were you thinking that about the Insect Fair today?
MADELEINE: Yeah.  And also about Thanksgiving.  Because the really FUN part about Thanksgiving is LITERALLY pigging out.  So if you get sick and you're throwing up, you can't eat all the yummy food.  And I'm just like, TUUUUURKEY!  COOOOOKIES!
JULIA: Not pie?
ME: (turning to Julia) Does she think there's gonna be cookies?
JULIA: (shrugging)
ME: I hope she knows there won't be cookies.



Keep on keepin' it fresh, Madeleine.

13th Birthday

The Rowe Household has a TEENAGER!  Julia is 13 today and I'm pretty sure she's never been more astute.  This morning her quick wit was on full display as she opened her presents from me.

JULIA: (upon seeing this new swim cap) Ooh, cool. Is it a polar bear?


This girl knows her stuff.  If I wasn't convinced Julia was a genius before, I'm convinced now!


HAPPY, HAPPY 13 to my first-born baby!

Flippy Shirt Surprise

Flippy shirts are all the rage in the elementary school right now.  If you're not in the know, flippy shirts are tees with a sequined design on them.  When you run your hand along the sequins, they flip into the opposite direction and the sequins change color.  It's AH-MAH-ZING.

Madeleine recently discovered, to her disappointment, that her Christmassy tee-shirt no longer fits her, so I bought her a flippy gingerbread shirt as an early holiday gift.  She's wearing this new shirt for the first time today.  As she lay on the couch this morning, she decided to have a dramatic enactment of her gingerbread man flipping colors.

MADELEINE: Wait.  Mommy.  Say something SURPRISING. (hand poised to flip the gingerbread man in response to my surprising announcement.)

I was on the spot, and couldn't think of anything.  I was also trying to see Julia out the door on her way to the bus.  I racked my brain and wound up just saying the first thing I could think of.

ME: I have two buttholes.

To Madeleine's credit, despite the fact that she *CLEARLY* wasn't expecting this kind of "surprising" comment, she carried through with flipping her gingerbread man to complete the enactment.  It wasn't until later on that we could giggle about the whole scenario, and run it again, with me announcing (much more appropriately) "I just won the lottery!"

So yeah.  The preschool teacher who is constantly reminding her class that we don't do potty talk at school just told her own kid "I have two buttholes"* when pressed for something surprising to say.  Now THAT is some solid parenting.

*I do not, in fact, have two buttholes.

Imagicknation Lesson

MADELEINE: (staring at Julia) Who would like an Imagicknation lesson?
JULIA: Not me.
MADELEINE: It's really fun!  You-
JULIA: Madeleine, no, I have to do homework and-
ME: I'll do it, Madeleine.

THAT'S how you take one for the team.

My lesson was on "Self-Surprises."  Madeleine talked about self-surprises with me, then gave me a homework exercise to fill out.  The first page detailed a scenario, including guidelines towards how to fully realize my self-surprise:

Next, I had to fill out answers on a worksheet, complete with a "because":

This was *exactly* how I wanted to spend my afternoon.

 I dutifully took the time to fill out an answer to each question, without neglecting the very important "because" that Professor Madeleine asked for.  I thought I did a pretty good job, all things considering, but I guess I did leave something to be desired.  Here's my grade:

Madeleine assured me that her grading system runs all the way through the letter "Z," so a C+ is actually a "really, really GOOD" grade.  But man, I wonder what you have to do to get an A in Imagicknation?!?

Bat Mitzvah and Aftermath

Well, we had a great time at the Bat Mitzvah party last night, and we all cleaned up for it:

One of the funniest parts of the evening was a speech given by Lily's mom about Lily's idiosyncracies as a child, including Lily's desire to have a birthday party at the library with a Moses cake.

As I drove the girls to swim this evening, we laughed about that story.

JULIA: What would a Moses cake even look like??
ME: Uh...I don't really know.
MADELEINE: What's a Moses cake?
JULIA: A cake with Moses on it.
MADELEINE: Wasn't Moses, like, a musician or something?

Uh, glad those Sunday School classes are paying off, Madeleine.

ME: Honey.  Moses?  You know? He parted the Red Sea?  Wrote the 10 Commandments?
MADELENIE: (staring at me blankly)
ME: He's in the Bible?

We had reached the Y by this point and were entering the building entrance.

ME: (laughing to myself) "Wasn't Moses a musician..."
MADELEINE: I thought he was!
JULIA: That's MOZART, Madeleine.


Oh Good Lord.  Not only am I failing my child in her knowledge of Biblical characters, but I'm failing her in her knowledge of classical musicians as well.  At least Julia knows what's what!

Bat Mitzvah Ceremony

This morning, we got to attend the Bat Mitzvah ceremony of dear friend and faithful blog reader, Lily.  I am the only one from the Rowe household who has been to a Bat Mitzvah before, so for the other 3 Rowes, this was a totally new experience.  We discussed our thoughts about the event on our drive home.

JULIA: That was not at all what I expected Temple to be like.
ME: It wasn't?
JULIA: It didn't look as fancy as I expected.
ETHAN: Wasn't it really nice how much natural light they had?
JULIA: Yeah!
ME: I bet the cantor sings opera outside of Temple.
ETHAN: Oh, yeah, I'm sure he does.
JULIA: That was not at all what I expected Temple to be like.
ME: Didn't you already just say that?
JULIA: NO, I mean, like, the SERVICE.
ME: What did you expect it to be like?
JULIA: I dunno, like, all my FRIENDS who are Jewish say that Temple is so boring and it just drones on and on in Hindi.
ME: In Hindi?!?
JULIA: NO!  I mean!  In Hebrew.
ME: I mean, there are Hindu temples.
JULIA: I messed up because we're learning about Hindu in social studies.

I can see why she made that mistake, because it's not like we were JUST at a Jewish Temple with a service predominantly in Hebrew for the past 3 hours or anything.

Tonight we'll attend Lily's Bat Mitzvah celebration, and maybe Julia can request some Bollywood music to go along with the Hindi we heard at Temple.

Mazel Tov, Lily!!

Toilet Talk

Conversation in the car driving to swim:

MADELEINE: Isn't it WEIRD that the toilets in the Southern Hemisphere swirl in the OPPOSITE direction when they flush?
ME: I didn't even know that.
MADELEINE: At first I was thinking it's the toilets on MARS that flush in the opposite direction, but then I was like, 'wait, no, it's the Southern HEMISPHERE, not Mars.'
JULIA: Yeah, it's the Southern Hemisphere.
MADELEINE: I wonder what direction the toilets flush in on Mars.
ME: Do you think there are toilets on Mars?!?
MADELEINE: Well, not, like, TODAY, but, like, in the FUTURE.


When we got to the Y, I updated my Facebook status while Madeleine leaned over my shoulder.

Courtney Elf Rowe

23 hrs · 

Madeleine would like to know what direction the toilet water spins when flushed in the toilets on Mars. 

MADELEINE: Wait!  I'm not a DOPE!

I modified my facebook status.

Courtney Elf Rowe

23 hrs · 

Madeleine would like to know what direction the toilet water spins when flushed in the toilets on Mars. (Not, like, TODAY. Like, in the FUTURE.)

ME: Is that acceptable?
MADELEINE: (nodding proudly.)

I guess I satisfactorily proved that she's not a dope.  After all, she did know about the toilets in the Southern Hemisphere and I didn't.

Music Making

Playing the flute, with Gelfling ears:



I mean, let's be real here.  Nothing fits with "We Will Rock You" better than a pair of Gelfling ears.



And, though the following music would probably legitimately befit the Gelflings, here is Madeleine sans ears, playing a flute trio with Julia and I.  The first trio we've ever played together, all of us on flutes!:




It's the dawn of a new era!

Flute Fiasco

Okay, so I think I'm finally able to laugh about this and post it.

A few weeks ago, Madeleine had a crying melt-down before bed because she had forgotten to do her "required" five minutes of flute practice that day.  Her band teacher gave all the kids a practice check-list with suggestions of what to go over each day at home. 

Let's back up a second and note that: A) Madeleine actually started learning the flute over the summer, thanks to the fact that she received Julia's old flute when Julia herself got a new open-holed flute.  Therefore, it's really not the end of the world if she skips 5 minutes of blowing into her headpiece to make a sound, and B) there is no grading or even checking of this check-list to be sure kids actually did their five minutes every day.

I tried to console Madeleine and let her know it's okay to miss a day of practice, but my OCD-tending child WOULD NOT HAVE IT.  I then suggested she just practice in the morning before school, since she really needed to get to bed, and her melt-down was further evidence to me that she was overtired and needed sleep more than anything.

Flash-forward to the morning, and all seems fine as Madeleine plays through her music while Julia and I are getting ready for school/work.  All of a sudden I hear a clatter and see Madeleine scrambling to pick up her flute head joint from the landing at the bottom of our stairs.

ME: What happened?
JULIA: Did you just DROP your head joint down there?
MADELEINE: (scrambling back upstairs) It's okay, I don't think it's broken.
JULIA: (examining the head joint) Did you dent it?

I took a look and the head joint was COMPLETELY deformed.  It wouldn't even fit into the body of the flute.

ME: Honey, what happened?  How did you drop it?
MADELEINE: (eyes filling with tears) Just don't ask.
ME: But how did this happen?
MADELEINE: Mommy, PLEASE, just don't ask.
ME: I'm not upset, I just want to understand.
MADELEINE: (tearing up even more) PLEASE, Mommy.  PLEASE don't ask.
ME: Just tell me, it's okay, I just want to know how this happened.
MADELEINE: (eyes filled with defiant tears) INAPPROPRIATE ACTION.
ME: Wait, what?  Did you throw it?
MADELEINE: I was angry because I couldn't play "Hot Cross Buns" perfectly so I did THIS (making a flicking motion with her arm) and it fell.
ME: The head joint fell off over the ledge and down the stairs?!?

Madeleine was SO chagrined and SO regretful.  She knew she'd blown it.  As she should, seeing as THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SHE HAS BROKEN THIS FLUTE BY BEING A DOPE.  However, seeing how deeply remorseful she was, I chose not to lay into her, and instead we talked about how whatever the cost of fixing this issue, she would be paying for it, and if she couldn't demonstrate care for her instrument in the future, she would be done with the flute. 

I decided to go the route that required least effort on my part, because I was NOT in the mood to take up my own time getting the flute head fixed.  I found a (better, because it's silver rather than nickel) used flute head for sale on ebay for a very reasonable amount of money, ordered it, and had Madeleine pay me back.  All worked out in the end, but OMG IF SHE BREAKS THIS FLUTE AGAIN THAT'S IT FOR MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS.

Luckily, any further flute melt-downs have been about really important things like this one today.

MADELEINE: (from her room) Mommyyyyyyy!  I need your heeeeelp!
ME: (entering her bedroom) Yes?
MADELEINE: (pointing to her band book) I don't know what note this is.
ME: So do "Every Good Boy Does Fine."
MADELEINE: G?
ME: Yup.
MADELEINE: (face like a black cloud) It's NEVER been a G before.
ME: When before?  (pointing to a spot in the middle of the page) Like right here, when it SAYS "G" above the note?
MADELEINE: No, in this SONG.  It's NEVER a G.
ME: That is a G, honey.
MADELEINE: (on the verge of angry tears) How come I played it before and it was NEVER, EVER a G?
ME: I-
MADELEINE: (flipping the page) Ohhhh!  I'm on the wrong PAAAAGE.  *THIS* is the page I'm supposed to be doing!

Glad we got that one sorted out before she flicked her wrist and BROKE HER FLUTE HEAD.  😠

I'm over it.  I really am.

Guts, Again

Well, I think I get why the kids were so excited about the book "Guts."

Here are a few excerpts:

Yup, nothing like potty talk to engage children - even ones who are TEN AND TWELVE. 

So, my addendum to yesterday's post: my kids were thankfully NOT looking up Google images of guts, but they WERE looking at graphic novel images of puking and farting.  That's much better, right?

Bedtime Chatter

I could hear the girls chattering away well after I instructed Madeleine to get ready for bed.

ME: (shouting from the dining room) Madeleine, did you brush your teeth?
JULIA: (shouting from Madeleine's bedroom) No, she's too busy showing me GUTS.
MADELEINE: You *wanted* to see!

Okay, so this sounded to me like my kids are sociopathically googling images of guts falling out of people's bodies.  I'm relieved to learn that my kids were looking at THIS:

Madeleine's newest loan from the school Media Center

I mean, who knows, maybe there are pictures of guts in this graphic novel, but at least my kid is reading, not searching gory images in the internet, right?

Random Question

JULIA: (bursting into our bedroom) I have a really random question that I meant to ask a long time ago but I forgot: Do people who are DEAF hear thoughts?

Does Julia hear thoughts??  I don't think my thoughts have a voice assigned to them.  But who knows what kinds of creepy voices are speaking in the head of the kid who's obsessed with the Black Plague.

Fun With Gelfling Ears

Even with Halloween over, Madeleine makes a point of just regularly wearing her Gelfling ears around the house, and elsewhere.

                       Video chatting Auntie Shannon

 At the dinner table, playing with Funko Pop figurines

Reading on the couch

I guess I shouldn't expect anything different from the kid who casually spotted her Deet costume (and bare feet) to pick up Julia from Select Choir rehearsal:

It's only a matter of time before some type of Gelfling garb makes it into her swim team attire!