Over the past few days, I have come to the realization that my children speak a different dialect of English than I do. They clearly interpret my commands and requests to mean something COMPLETELY different from what I think I'm asking.
I think I'm starting to translate some of my version of English into Kid-English, based on their responses to the things I have asked them to do.
Apparently:
"Get ready for bed" means "decide it's time to throw a paper airplane around the living room."
"Go get dressed" means "sit on your bed in your pajamas and play with a miniature Slinky."
"Can you grab your pile of laundry and put things away in your room?" means "drape your dress over the handle of your closet door because you think you're not good at hanging."
"This is not a problem worth fighting over" means "get into a stupid argument that requires being separated because you think your sister is 'being mean' to the exercise ball."
And it seems the kids even have trouble understanding each other lately, as well. In several instances today, I have discovered that:
"Stop!" means "keep doing the annoying thing you're doing no matter how many times the other person has requested you cease such activity."
I guess I'm in good shape if I ever need to know how to ask the kids to throw a paper airplane around or play with a Slinky while still in pjs. Otherwise, my success at translation doesn't seem to give me much of an advantage. Maybe one day I'll be fluent enough in Kid-English to know how to be understood and obeyed.
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