Dramatic Morning

Getting ready for church today was really fun.  The kids were SUPER cooperative.

9:15am
ME: (shouting down to the girls, who were watching "PowerPuff Girls" in the playroom) Girls, we have to leave for church in about fifteen minutes, so it's time to get dressed and ready really soon.
GIRLS: (shouting back up to me) Okay!

9:17am
JULIA: (coming upstairs to get ready) Mommy, it's WARM out!
ME: Yeah, it's nice today.
JULIA: (emerging from her bedroom with a pile of sleeveless dresses) Which one should I wear?
ME: How about the sparkly one from Yiayia?  Madeleine is gonna wear hers today too.
JULIA: Okay!

9:20am
ME: Madeleine, come on up and get ready for church.
MADELEINE: (stomping up the stairs, whining) Julia never TOLD me it was time to get ready!
ME: It's not Julia's job to tell you.
MADELEINE: No, but Julia went upstairs and she didn't TELL me why she was going upstairs so I didn't KNOW it was time to get ready!
ME: Madeleine, Julia is not in charge of telling you when to get ready.  I told you.
MADELEINE: No, but Julia didn't TELL ME she was going upstairs to get ready.
ME: It's fine. I just told you.
JULIA: (emerging from her bedroom in her sleeveless dress, with bare legs.) I'm READY!
ME: Honey, you're gonna want tights.
JULIA: No I don't!  It's warm out!
ME: It's not warm enough for bare legs.
JULIA: Yes it is!
MADELEINE: (putting her sleeveless dress on) Mommy?  Should I wear sandals?
ME: You should wear your dress shoes.
MADELEINE: Okay, so then should I wear socks?
ME: How about tights?
MADELEINE: I don't WANT tights!
ME: Well, aren't dress shoes going to bother your feet with no tights?
MADELEINE: Well, I have some knee socks.
ME: Honey, you really shouldn't wear knee socks with this fancy dress.
MADELEINE: How about regular socks?
ME: Come on, let's get you some tights.
MADELEINE: (losing it) FINE, THEN JULIA HAS TO WEAR TIGHTS TOO!
ME: (calling to Julia) Julia, can you do me a favor to help make everything easier and just put on some tights?
JULIA: WHY?!?
ME: It would just make things much easier.
JULIA: But I don't WANT to wear tights. I'm gonna be HOT!
ME: Can you please just put them on?
JULIA: (stomping around her bedroom)
MADELEINE: (whining from her bed)
ME: You know what?  Let's just not go to church.  It's not worth the battle.  Just take the dresses off.
JULIA: But I'm GETTING tights on!
MADELEINE: But we HAVE to go to church!
ME: No, I'm really not doing this anymore.  I'm just gonna go read my book.

Even when I'm trying to call it quits, my kids decide to defy me.  Julia stomped into the bathroom, tights on under her dress, to do her hair.  Madeleine began crying because she banged her arm into the bathroom door frame.  Julia stomped down to the garage and got in the car.  Madeleine was still crying in her bedroom so I went to check on her.

ME: Honey, let me see your arm.  You really hurt it, huh?
MADELEINE: No, it's just that I was trying to find my dress shoes in my closet, and I could only find one, and you were already so upset so I didn't want to bother you, and (tears flowing even more freely) I felt like the fate of the WORLD rested on one little shoe, and then I found it.
ME: Honey.  You can ALWAYS ask me for help finding something.  I'm never going to get angry about that.  What makes me frustrated is when you girls are fighting and not cooperating.

We did finally get out the door.  Needless to say, we were late for church.

Here are the girls in their sparkly dresses from Yiayia.  Just try to picture them with bare legs and/or knee socks and you may understand why I was such a meanie and made them wear tights:

Lost in Translation

Over the past few days, I have come to the realization that my children speak a different dialect of English than I do.  They clearly interpret my commands and requests to mean something COMPLETELY different from what I think I'm asking.

I think I'm starting to translate some of my version of English into Kid-English, based on their responses to the things I have asked them to do.

Apparently:

"Get ready for bed" means "decide it's time to throw a paper airplane around the living room."

"Go get dressed" means "sit on your bed in your pajamas and play with a miniature Slinky."

"Can you grab your pile of laundry and put things away in your room?" means "drape your dress over the handle of your closet door because you think you're not good at hanging."

"This is not a problem worth fighting over" means "get into a stupid argument that requires being separated because you think your sister is 'being mean' to the exercise ball."

And it seems the kids even have trouble understanding each other lately, as well.  In several instances today, I have discovered that:

"Stop!" means "keep doing the annoying thing you're doing no matter how many times the other person has requested you cease such activity."


I guess I'm in good shape if I ever need to know how to ask the kids to throw a paper airplane around or play with a Slinky while still in pjs.  Otherwise, my success at translation doesn't seem to give me much of an advantage.  Maybe one day I'll be fluent enough in Kid-English to know how to be understood and obeyed.

Yet Another Book

Well, this looks really promising!:

Science Girl looks an awful lot like a wizard.  Maybe she's just so into astronomy that she feels the need to wear outer space-themed attire from head to toe.  And carry a scientific instrument that looks suspiciously like a wand.

That Extra-Terrestrial though.  I can't wait to find out more about that two-headed pink-vomit-mouthed creature with a wiggly tail between it's legs.  I'm hooked just by the cover itself!

Plague House

Greetings from the Plague House, wherein I became the lone Rowe standing.  Thankfully, the girls have turned the corner and were back to school today.  There remains a cacophony of hacking flu cough throughout the household, but I think this video shows that the girls are feeling MUCH closer to normal:





The man on the couch, unfortunately, is still in recovery.  Hopefully he too will be dancing around and galloping within a few days' time.

Full House and Fevers

So, Ethan, Madeleine and I are sitting in an exam room waiting to get tested for flu.

MADELEINE: Mommy.  A fever of 101 is: stay home from school.  A fever of 103 is: go to the hospital.
ME: Well, 100.4 is considered a fever, so that's the temperature that means stay home from school.
MADELEINE: Well, Mommy, they say on "Full House" that 101 is stay home and 103 is hospital.
ME: Julia had a 103 fever on Thursday and she didn't have to go to the hospital.
MADELEINE: Maybe it's because "Full House" is from a long time ago. I think it's from, like, 1976.
ME: "Full House" is from the '80' and '90s, honey.
ETHAN: Yeah, like around 1992.  Not 1976.  Madeleine, 1976 is when I was born.
MADELEINE: (thoughtful silence) Did you even HAVE TV's then??

Sheesh, Madeleine.  We're not THAT old!!!

Mixed Bag of a Day

Today was an exciting day for one kid and a crushing one for the other.  Let's start with Julia: she has been counting down the days until the New England Championships, SO excited to have qualified in three swim events, planning to wear her expensive new tech suit, and thoroughly pumped up waiting for the big day.  This poor kid got diagnosed with the flu today, and won't be able to swim in tomorrow's championships after all.  I'm truly heart-broken for her.  Watching her eyes fill with tears as the doctor told her she would have to stay home from the meet was devastating for ME: seeing my child so deeply disappointed and without any way for me to make things better was the worst feeling I could imagine.

Meanwhile, for Madeleine, it was the long-awaited day of her Third Grade Assembly.  Thanks to her pop quiz yesterday, I knew she needed to go to school dressed in a red top, so I helped her pick an outfit out and do her hair in her requested hair style (a bun.)  She also painted her nails but decided to forgo the excessive jewelry she had worn for her Second Grade Assembly.  Third graders are obviously more mature and less showy than second graders.

Each class performed an interpretive dance on a theme.  Madeleine's class (as I came to learn from taking the pop quiz yesterday) danced on the theme of Perseverance.  I loved watching them perform!  I mean, who knew Madeleine could be graceful?!? I had never seen her dance without flailing wildly and donkey kick-spinning about in the air, but I thought she was able to pull off fluidity pretty nicely!




At the end of the assembly, all three classes sang Miley Cyrus's "The Climb."  Madeleine, as you know if you read yesterday's post, is not a fan of Miley's voice.  Unfortunately the third graders weren't quite able to drown it out, but they still sang with some serious exuberance:




Bravo, Third Grade!  I sure needed those peaceful performances to help calm me down after feeling so distraught for Julia.  I am so proud of both my girls; of Madeleine putting her 100% effort into her class production, and of Julia to be so mature and understanding of the fact that she needs to skip her meet, despite her devastation. 

Wishing all you blog-readers a happy and flu-free weekend!

Assembly Preparation

Madeleine has a 3rd Grade Assembly coming up, which will be performed for the school and parents this week.  The Assembly consists of various dances, presentation of specific vocabulary words (one per class) and ends with a performance of a Miley Cyrus song.  Madeleine is so excited for this upcoming event that she was giving me a preview yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work.  After she showed off various dance moves and chattered about aspects of the performance, she decided it was time to put me to the test.


MADELEINE: Okay, Mommy.  I'm gonna give you a POP QUIZ on the third grade assembly.
ME: Um.  Okay.
MADELEINE: Question number ONE: What color am I?

Phew.  An easy one to start.  I would at least not fail right from the get-go.

ME: Red.
MADELEINE: Correct!  Question number TWO: What word am I?

Well, at least I got question 1 correct.

ME: Uhhhhhh....I really don't know.
MADELEINE: I'll give you a hint.  It starts with a "P."
ME: Perseverance?
MADELEINE: Correct!

Wow!  Pulled that one outta thin air but I'll take it!

MADELEINE Question THREE.  What is the HARDEST dance move for me?
ME: Um, the one you were just showing me?
MADELEINE: But WHICH one?
ME: One of the moves you were just showing me when you were doing the routine?? (LAME, I know.)
MADELEINE: Was it (naming some move)
ME: Uh...Yes.
MADELEINE: Correct!


Okay, that was a total cop-out on my part, but I did (sort of) watch her whole routine out of the corner of my eye while I was doing some work on my computer.


MADELEINE: Okay, Mommy.  FINAL QUESTION.  Who has a terrible singing voice?
ME: Miley Cyrus?
MADELEINE: Correct!

YEAH!  NAILED that one.  Overall I scored probably a 50% on the pop quiz given that I only really knew two of the answers, but I'm hoping that Madeleine is one of those lenient kinds of teachers who counts the answer as correct even if she had to lead me to it. 

Noise Putty

I was sitting upstairs ironing my dress for church when I heard a series of ripe, juicy flatulence explosions coming from down in the play room.

ME: (calling out) Who's making fart sounds?
JULIA: (giggling) It's Madeleine's Putty!
ME: And you're making toot sounds with it?  On purpose?
JULIA: Yeah.  It's Noise Putty!
ME: So it's supposed to sound like farts?
JULIA: Yeah!  Mommy, listen, I can do a really good one!

Silence.

Wow, that's really great, Jules.

ME: Are you doing it??
JULIA: It's not coming out!  Hang on!

She pursued her endeavor to make a notably resonant fart eruption, and eventually I could hear the crackling vibrations resounding from downstairs.

JULIA: Did you hear it, Mommy?
ME: Yup.  Good job.

Fart sounds continued as I got ready for church.

MADELEINE: (joyfully) It's DISGUSTING, but it's FUN!!


Whatever brings you happiness, kids.

Bedtime Routine

Bedtime stall fest, yet again:

JULIA: Can someone snuggle me in Room Julia?
ETHAN: I can give you a snuggle in a minute.
ME: It has to be a quick snuggle so that Daddy and I can get some time together to watch tv.

Ten minutes later, Julia was on her knees writing down dates on her wall calendar, not nearly ready for bed.

ETHAN: Okay, Jules, can the snuggles start soon?
JULIA: Oh!  Wait.  I have to brush my TEETH and do my ROUTINE.
ME: Can you just do the snuggles first and then do your routine?

Nope.  She couldn't.

Ten minutes later, Ethan was still waiting, while Julia and Madeleine yapped in the hallway about Orthodox Easter.

JULIA: I remember last year when we had to share what we did over the weekend and I was like, "I celebrated Palm Sunday" and people were like, "It was EASTER this weekend, not Palm Sunday."
MADELEINE: Oh, and Julia!  Now I know what I can do!  On the day after Easter, I can tell-I can-I can tell-I can say to-I can tell-
JULIA: Okay, Madeleine. I get it.  You can tell who?
MADELEINE: I can tell my friends, "Happy Easter!" and they'll be like, "Huh?  Why are you telling me now?  Easter already happened a week ago!"  Because-
ME: Hey girls?  Can you do the routine and have this conversation at the same time?
JULIA AND MADELEINE: Oh sorry!  (scampering off to brush their teeth)

Snuggles in Room Julia have finally started a half hour after they were requested.  Now I'm awaiting tv watching in Room Courtney and Ethan so we can have our own time to unwind.

Busy Afternoon

Well, we've had an eventful afternoon.  Madeleine had her first round of immunotherapy for her allergies, and so we spent a chunk of time at the ENT office.  She got allergy drops under her tongue, and we waited the requisite 20 minutes to be sure she didn't have a reaction.  Consequently, we were late to pick up Julia and her friend from Select Choir, but luckily it's a 50 degree day so they weren't freezing their butts off waiting outside the school for us.

When we returned home, Julia was beside herself because she DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER TIME given that she couldn't watch tv.  The public school system declared today an "Unplugged" day, assigning no homework so that all the kids could do something of quality at home, provided it was not watching tv, using a tablet, computer, or cell phone.  I offered to play some flute duets with Julia during the half hour we had before swim, and she was super grumpy and tweenagery about it.

JULIA: But I don't *want* to play my flute. I *want* to watch tv.
ME: But you're not supposed to watch tv.
JULIA: I *want* to watch tv.
ME: Well, it's not fair if you watch tv and Madeleine doesn't.
JULIA: Madeleine CAN watch tv.  She has FREE WILL.
ME: I think she wants to follow the instructions from her teacher.
JULIA: It's NOT her teacher's decision.  It's MADELEINE'S decision.
ME: Why don't you get your flute?
JULIA: I don't *wanna* get my flute.
ME: Okay, well, I'm gonna play my flute.  (getting some music and taking my flute out of the case)
JULIA: (stomping stormily over to the couch with her flute to join me and playing in a slumped position with a scowl on her face)

Eventually she lightened up and I even recorded one of our duets.  I'm not in the public schools so I'm allowed to use technology today.




Afterwards, it was time to drive Madeleine to swim.  I told her to bring her EpiPen just in case she felt any delayed reaction from the shots.

MADELEINE: Well, Mommy, it's a good think I'm not allergic to water or chlorine!
ME: Yeah, that would stink.
MADELEINE: And Mommy?  I feel SO sorry for ALL those poor people in the world who are allergic to WATER.

Yeah.  All those poor people who are allergic to water.  What??  Is that even a thing?

We got to swim and were hurrying in the front door when Madeleine's toe, exposed because she was wearing flip flops, got caught in the door and got gashed open.  She was leaving a blood trail as we hurried out to the pool deck to get some lifeguard assistance, and was crying in pain despite trying to control herself.  Lucky for us, there was absolutely nothing of help in the First Aid cabinet, so the coaches were stuck pouring cold water over her toe and wiping it with paper towels.  The bleeding eventually stopped so she was able to get in the pool, but this poor kid is having a rough afternoon.  Between the allergy shots and the no television and the gashed-open toe, she's dealt with a lot of roadblocks.

Given that the last time she saw the allergist, she wound up with Norovirus, Madeleine was quick to blame the allergy drops as the culprit.

MADELEINE: (leaning in conspiratorially to whisper to me as I held a paper towel to her toe) Mommy.  It's the CURSE of the allergist!

It was definitely a no-fun afternoon for Madeleine.  At least she has the great fortune of not being allergic to water like all those poor people in the world!!

Book Cover

I found the cover to a new Madeleine Rowe original in Madeleine's backpack today:

Well, this looks interesting.  I definitely want to read about the life of a different person.  I have grown awfully tired of reading about the life of the same person.  What a clever idea on Madeleine's part.  A story about someone ELSE, who is not the reader, aka a different person.  Imagine the creative possibilities!  This cover promises a great opportunity to learn about the life of a different person! I'm in.

Rowe Family Weekend

The Rowe household got a visit from the VT Rowes this weekend, which meant lots of grand-daughter time with Nana and Gramps.  While the girls spent two hours outdoors on the snowy playground with Nana, their time with Gramps was primarily spent around the dining room table playing cards.  We had a long, two-part Hearts game that took place over both weekend days.  Among those playing were Julia, Madeleine, Gramps, Ethan, and I.  Also in attendance, playing their own game of cards were Madeleine's Ever After High dolls:

I'm not sure who won in the dolls' game, but in the Rowe game, the score was ever shifting.  Julia remained low for much of the game, seeming ready to take the win.  She dumped the Queen of Spades on me at one point, and at another, gleefully dumped it on Gramps, who had been out to get her due to her low status.  Unfortunately, a couple of bad hands put her out of the running.  Madeleine was inching closer and closer to 100 points; the first person to go over 100 points ends the game, and the person with the lowest score is declared winner. 

Let me tell you a bit about Madeleine as a player.  She can be as vicious as the rest of the table, EXCEPT when it comes to Mommy.  Instead of passing me three of her highest cards, most likely to cause me to take points, Madeleine always hands me things like 2s and 3s of clubs and diamonds, gazing at me lovingly across the table as she gives me her benign pass.  So while she will scream and cheer with delight when Daddy, Julia or Gramps take points, she is in my corner whenever it's my turn.  Therefore, I had many opportunities in which to unload my Queen of Spades (worth a whopping 13 points), or other points, on her throughout the game, but I just didn't have the heart to do it to the kid who puts her own game at risk in order to give me a helpful pass.  Near the end of our game, Madeleine had reached 99 points.  The game would either end with her as loser, OR, if she was able to score EXACTLY 100 points, she would drop to the same score as the lowest-scored player, ending the game but winning it. 

I had only one spade in my hand: the Queen.  It was a no-pass, hold hand, so I wasn't able to pass my Queen away when I saw how short I was in spades.  If a Spades trick went around the table even once, I would most likely be forced to take the trick with my own Queen as the high card.  Opportunity seemed to come unexpectedly for me, however: Julia played a card in a suit I was completely out of.  Perfect time to dump my Queen, as I had nothing in the suit that was led.  However, Madeleine followed suit with an extremely high card that would likely take the trick.  If I put my Queen down, then Madeleine would take the 13 points.  Here was my chance to NOT eat my own Queen.  But I instead played a heart; hearts count as wild cards and are worth one point a piece.  Madeleine got her one point.  The next round, Spades were led, so I ate my Queen and took the 13 points she's worth.  Madeleine succeeded in taking no other points throughout the round and had her perfect 100.  She dropped down to low score and tied with Ethan for winner. 

Madeleine was ECSTATIC.  She could not stop talking about how amazing it was that she managed to hit 100 exactly.  I'm not sure she realizes how instrumental I was in that arrangement and how differently things would have gone if I didn't play with my Mommy guilt.  Nonetheless, Madeleine was prancing around the house, delighted with herself, exclaiming, "I can't WAIT to tell everyone at school tomorrow that if you get 100 points EXACTLY, you drop to the lowest score, and I had 99 points and I got ONE MORE POINT and I was tied for winner!"

You're welcome, Madeleine.

Dancing Girl

Madeleine busts a move (whilst Julia gallops):





Yeah!  Woo-hoo!  I think *I* saw the sign too!

Talk of Spring

Discussion with Madeleine on the way home from swim practice.


MADELEINE: Mommy?  You know why I'm excited to be in HIGH SCHOOL - uh, (laughing) - even though it's a LONG time away?
ME: Why?
MADELEINE: Because teenagers who are in high school can go for runs by themselves, and *I* want to go on a run, but I'm too little.
ME: Oh, well you could go for a run around our block.  I used to let Julia do that when she was your age.
MADELEINE: You DID?!?
ME: Yeah.  It's only a half mile.
MADELEINE: Oh!  Well, maybe I'll do that when it gets warmer.
ME: Yeah, like in the spring.
MADELEINE: Weeeell.  Mommy.  I think I'll wait for MID-spring.
ME: Yeah, it's not likely that in a couple of weeks it will suddenly really feel like spring even though it will officially change seasons.
MADELEINE: Yeah.  And besides.  The beginning of spring is, like, the WORST time.  It's SLUSHY, sometimes snowy-
ME: And usually cold.
MADELEINE: But in MID-SPRING, ohhh, you can be in a tee-shirt, maybe even a TANK TOP, and just HANG AROUND on the monkey bars, and...AHHH, it's so FRESH and you can finally get to see GRASS again!  And you can smell flowers.  Oh, I *love* smelling the flowers in spring!  I love going around our garden on the weekend when it's so breezy but warm, just smelling all the flowers in our garden!


Well.  Madeleine sure waxed poetic on that topic.  I was not expecting such an eloquent response.  Her description of spring sure gives me something to look forward to, as I gaze out the window at the 15 inches of snow in our yard!

American Girls

MADELEINE: (wandering around the hallway) What should I do??
ME: Uh...whatever you want.  You've got about a half hour until swim.
MADELEINE: Okay (wandering into her room)

She got busy with her American Girl dolls, while Julia galloped back and forth by her doorway.  Julia overheard Madeleine talking her dolls and poked her head into Madeleine's bedroom.

JULIA: What are your American Girls doing?
MADELEINE: (looking up from her play) Talking to Michelle Obama.


Wow - what an exciting day to be an American Girl!!