Friday, August 4, 2017

This Week's Highlights

Some highlights from the week.

Philosophical Questions About the Sharks Swim Team

JULIA: Mommy, wait, at Sharks swim meets, are you allowed to swim in the medley relay AND the freestyle relay?
ME: No, swimmers are only allowed two individual events and one relay.
JULIA: (in distress) But Lilly Mintz swims BOTH relays!
ME: Well, honey, since she's imaginary, I think it's fine if she swims both relays.
JULIA: (still distressed) But she's on the Sharks!
ME: Yeah, well, she's on the Sharks in an alternate universe where we don't exist.  So maybe in that universe, swimmers can do more than one relay.
JULIA: (perplexed) Mommy, this whole "alternate universe" thing is just WAY over my head.

Thunderstorm Trauma

A few weeks back, we had a wild and noisy thunderstorm that had both kids freaked out.  Julia is *always* a nervous wreck when there is a thunderstorm, but during this particular weather event, even Madeleine was on edge.  The thunder claps continually took both kids by surprise, meaning one or both kids screamed every time we heard thunder.

Ethan had no patience for these shenanigans.

JULIA: (screaming)
ETHAN: Whoever screams again loses dessert for THE REST OF HER LIFE.
JULIA: (whimpering pathetically from behind the hand she had clamped over her own mouth.)

Well, that thunderstorm was topped by a severe storm we got hit with on Wednesday.  Julia's panic was ratcheted up a few notches to begin with, since we had been in the car when the storm hit.  We were on our way to a Sharks swim meet, which, needless to say, wound up being cancelled.  We had to drive home in the thick of the storm, with blinding rain, electrifying flashes of lightning, and explosive claps of thunder.  By the time we got inside our house, Julia was a wreck, as was Auntie Shannon's dog, Clara.

JULIA: (screaming)
CLARA: (barking)

Ethan wasn't home during this storm, but Madeleine was clearly worried about the fate of her sister's dessert options, nonetheless.

JULIA: (screaming)
MADELEINE: Uh, Mommy?  Is it okay if Julia screams if the thunder is REALLY, REALLY LOUD?

I assured Madeleine that I was not holding to the same rule of losing dessert for the rest of one's life, so while I did not enjoy Julia's screaming, I was not planning on inflicting a dessert ban on her.  And it's probably a good thing that Ethan wasn't home, because Julia screamed a LOT.

In order to get her sister's mind off of the thunderstorm terror, Madeleine made up a song, using the baby carrots she was eating as props.  This song has since caught on within the household, prompting both Ethan and I to add verses to the original repetition of "I'm a carrot, I'm so strong."  Madeleine holds steady with the aforementioned words, while Julia has taken the suggestions from Ethan and I to add some variety to the "lyrics."

Behold, the masterpiece of the century, "I'm a Carrot":

Madeleine Tries Her Hand at Hair-Styling

Madeleine asked me if she could brush my hair for me, and she had me sit on the floor in front of the couch while she prepared to give me a brush and style.

MADELEINE: Okay, Mommy, I'm gonna do PIGTAILS.
ME: Okay.

Madeleine then fumbled around with chunks of my hair and an elastic, but she clearly could not get the elastic to stay in the position in which she wanted it.

MADELEINE: Uh, actually...I'm gonna do a ponytail instead.
ME: Okay.

Madeleine then fumbled around some more, and I think she got the elastic in, but it was all the way down near the ends of my hair.  So it was pretty much the loosest ponytail one could ever have.

MADELEINE: Uh...wait.  Mommy.  I'm just gonna BRUSH your hair instead.  I'm gonna brush it until it's SUPER shiny and there's NO frizz.

She began to methodically brush my hair, complimenting her handiwork as she did so.  Then, as the sun shone through the window, Madeleine took credit for the highlights reflected in my hair.

MADELEINE: Mommy!  Your hair is LITERALLY golden at the ends.  You're gonna wanna see this!  I brushed it so much, it's SHINY and GOLDEN.

She went and got my camera to show me my hair:

My "literally golden" hair

MADELEINE: But...hang on.  I'm gonna get your hair gel for your frizz. (scampering off to the bathroom and returning with my FrizzEase.)
ME: I already put some in.
MADELEINE: Yeah, but you have a LOT of frizz right here.  (smoothing some gel into my hair.)  There.  That's better.  Wow!  This really DOES ease frizz!

Madeleine is like a ringing endorsement for FrizzEase!

MADELEINE: But Mommy?  Now I feel like I wanna CUT peoples' hair.
ME: Yeah, well, we're not gonna have you do that.  You can brush it, but not cut it.
MADELEINE: Well, Mommy, I have a feeling that I'm gonna be a NATURAL at cutting hair.

Yeah, maybe when you're older...let's just not take that gamble *yet.*

ME: Well, you are very artistic.  Some day I bet you'll definitely be good at cutting hair.
MADELEINE: Yeah.  And besides!  If I mess up, I can just turn it into a BOB or a PIXIE CUT!

Well, that's reassuring.  If she totally screws up, she can just lop it all off!  Or maybe even just shave it off!

and finally:

Attempts to Touch the Bottom of the Pool

While we were at the Boston Sports Club pool, Madeleine began attempting to do a pencil jump from the diving board and touch the bottom (12 feet down) with her feet.  Each time she'd jump off and emerge to the surface, she'd update me on her progress.  "Close!" she'd exclaim, or "Even closer!"  Finally, she seemed to get her body down far enough to tap the bottom.  She emerged, and I awaited the update.

MADELEINE: (making a gasping, choking sound, then letting out the juiciest, most resounding belch I have ever heard in my life)
ME: Are you okay??

She then climbed out of the pool as if nothing had happened.  That was a close one.  Her belch literally sounded as if she was going to vomit the entire contents of her stomach into the pool.  Which she has actually done before when swallowing a bunch of water.  So...dodged a bullet on that one, PLUS Madeleine achieved her goal of touching the bottom.  Double win!

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