The Wrong-Sized Fork

I have a weird obsession about the size of my dinner fork.  I only like the small forks, because I feel like the big forks with the long prongs are poking down the back of my throat when I take a bite off of one.  Tonight I absent-mindedly took the big fork that I had used to cut up the chicken breasts I'd cooked, and began eating my meal without my usual-sized utensil. 

ME: (taking a bite of dinner) Why do I have this sized fork?  I don't want this sized fork. This is the wrong-sized fork.  (leaving to get a smaller one from the utensil drawer.)
MADELEINE: The wrong-sized WHAT?
ME: Fork.
MADELEINE: The wrong-sized WHAT?
ETHAN: Fork.
MADELEINE: The wrong-sized WHAT?
ME: Fork.
ETHAN: Mom doesn't like the big-sized forks.
JULIA: I don't either.
ETHAN: I guess I'm the only one in the family who likes the big-sized forks.
MADELEINE: I do!  I like the big-sized...umm...mmm...
JULIA: But you always use a kid-sized fork, Madeleine.
MADELEINE: But Julia.  Remember that time that there were no more little...mmm...mmm...
ME: FORKS?
MADELEINE: Uh, yeah.  Remember there were no more little forks, so I had to use the BIG sized fork?  I mean!...SPOON.


Does Madeleine not know what a fork is?  What the heck.

Camping Ideas

I found this on the dining room table today:

"Camping idea's!"
1. Biulde a camp-siht.
2. Gather eneathing you want
3. Get other things in nature to make something.
4. Play the game?

Apparently the kids want to go camping.  It's a good thing Madeleine is so world-wise in the necessities of camping.  With her master plan in place, what could go wrong?  After we've biulte the camp-siht, gathered everything we want, gathered other things in nature, and played the game?, it should be smooth sailing for the rest of the camping trip!

MADELEINE: And MAMA?  The reason I put "play the game" with a QUESTION MARK is because...I wasn't sure if we would want to gather more things or not.

Ohhhh, I see.  Seriously, after gathering eneathing that we need, THEN gathering other things in nature, it's definitely possible we might have MORE things we want to gather.  Definitely hold off on playing the game until we're totally certain on whether or not we're done gathering.

Can't wait for the Rowe family camping trip of the future!

Madeleine the Half-Cheetah

Madeleine continues to carry on as if she is half-cheetah.  Not only does she need to run half a street-length ahead of Julia and I on our walk home from school ("I *have* to run ahead because I'm half-cheetah and cheetahs are FAST RUNNERS!"), but she has taken to making raspy snarling sounds at anyone who crosses her.  This happens to Julia particularly often, which typically serves to incite Julia's irritation.

MADELEINE: (snarling at Julia)
JULIA: (with complete condescension) Madeleine.  You're NOT half-cheetah.
MADELEINE: (urgently) Yes I am!

Madeleine claims that she became half-cheetah by hanging out with the Wild Kratts.  It seems that her hang-out times occur at school during recess.

MADELEINE: Well, Mama, I like to think about the Wild Kratts when I go on the SWINGS, and *that's* what I mean by "hanging out" with them.

So, basically, the Wild Kratts are like the Lilly Mintz of Madeleine's brain.  She needs to "think" about them while doing something active.  The major difference is that Julia only broadcasts the doings of the Mintz to her own (real) family.  She doesn't convince people at school that the Mintz are a real family that she knows.  Madeleine, on the other hand, has had no problem making "known" her hybrid species status to her friends at school.

Julia relayed the fact that as her class was passing the kindergarten class at school last week, she called out to Madeleine, "Hi, my little darling sister who thinks she's half-cheetah but she's really not!"  To which Madeleine's best friend exclaimed defensively, "She is!"

I guess maybe I should just face the reality that my child has grown some cheetah DNA.  All this time I thought it was a game of pretend, but it seems that everyone at school knows the real truth about Madeleine the Half-Human, Half-Cheetah warrior.

Madeleine's Poop Poem

Apparently, sitting on the toilet awoke Madeleine's inner poet.

MADELEINE: (emerging fresh from doing a poop on the potty) Want me to tell you a poem?
ME: Did you brush your teeth?
MADELEINE: No, but I'll tell you the poem first.  My father said, "There is a cat.  My mother said there is a bat."
ME: And my sister said, "There is rat."
MADELEINE: Oh, yeah!
ME: (on a roll) But I said, "No, it's just a hat."
MADELEINE: No.  My brother said, "It's just a hat."
ME: And I said, "What do you think about that?"
MADELEINE: No.  Wait.  And I said, "It's just a lat."  What's a lat?
ME: It's nothing.  "Lat" is not a real word.
MADELEINE: Oh.  Then...a "lat" is just an animal that just STANDS there.

Yeah.  Of course.  Why use one of the multitude of regular words that rhyme with "cat" when you can just make up a word?

Lucky Madeleine

After yesterday's St. Patrick's Day picture by Madeleine, I'm not sure today's school project can measure up, but luckily, (pun intended), Madeleine managed to add her own unique style to this shamrock:

Four things that make Madeleine Rowe lucky!!

-my family
-going to be hafe cheata
-going to be abel to do 10 bac-flip's
-the last name Rowe


This list is like half real things and half complete BS.  I would agree that her family and her last name are lucky; at least, I feel lucky that she's a part of the Rowe family!!  But what. the. heck. is up with the other two things?!?  She's going to be half cheetah?  Is she undergoing a species hybridization?  I mean, at that point, why only go half cheetah?  Why not just bite the bullet and go FULL-OUT cheetah?  I can't imagine life as half human/half cheetah would be super fulfilling.  There's not really a lot of opportunity to do cheetah-like running inside a human home.  And then let's get to the back flip idea.  Does she imagine that she will eventually be able to do 10 back flips?  I've seen this kid klutz her way around and I'm kind of skeptical that she could do even ONE back-flip.  Ever.  

Though, I guess maybe when she's half-cheetah she will be able to perform all kinds of athletic feats that are not available to her in her purely human form.

The Turtle Cloud Picture

After being shunned by Julia during a play-date at our house, Madeleine set to drawing pictures at the dining room table.  Julia eventually decided that Madeleine could, in fact, join the game going on in Julia's bedroom, but by that point, Madeleine was totally preoccupied.

JULIA: Okay, Madeleine, do you wanna come play with us now?
MADELEINE: Uh, not right now, because I'm just busy drawing a turtle cloud!

What began as a turtle cloud turned into the creepiest St. Patrick's Day drawing I've ever seen:

I don't even know what's going on in this picture, but I have to say, it makes me think twice about looking for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.  Apparently, in order to get to the pot of gold, I'd have to risk running into this gargantuan Headless-Horseman-like, fanged, scar-faced monster.  Even the poor little Leprechaun girl looks iffy about the whole situation.  I think I'll stay one pot of gold poorer and keep my head from being eaten off.  I mean, I'm so distracted by the scene below the rainbow that I'm not even paying any attention to the turtle cloud that Madeleine was so busy drawing!

Best of all, Madeleine bequeathed this drawing to me.  I truly feel I have the luck 'o the Irish in receiving such an unsettling St. Paddy's day drawing!

Sunshine School

Well, I guess it's a good thing that I have received a few packages recently, because the girls are totally going green with their use of cardboard boxes as part art project/part building for their little figurines.  Julia was the most recent to confiscate another cardboard box before I had the chance to put it in with the recycling, and before I knew it, she had created this masterpiece:

Sunshine State School of ORLANDO



This brand new elementary school is just as sunny and optimistic as it appears from its name.  Take a look inside at the classrooms:

"Welcome to Kindergarten"
"1st Grade = Fun Grade"
"Go for Second!"

Even the upper grades have inspiring slogans:

"Thrilling Third!"
"Fabulous 4th!"

And let's not forget the biggest kids:

 "Fantastic 5's!"


Furthermore, even when you're not in the classroom, the school promotes positivity and happiness.  Just take a walk down the hall and you'll see words of encouragement and friendly reminders:

"Go Sunshine Salutations!"
"Wanta latte?  Come to the coffee-tiria!"
"Remember your lunch money!"

I wonder if the Salutations are the school mascot?  Also, elementary school kids drink coffee?!?  Or maybe that's a motivational sign for the teachers.  (Speaking of, I hope the teacher's lounge has a poster that says "Terrific Teachers!")

Wow.  I so wish I could go to this elementary school.

Meanwhile, Madeleine, at her real elementary school, wrote about the opposite of sunshiny happiness:

"Today we read the Grouchy Ladybug.  I feel grouchy when my dad wak's me up on a school day."

Seriously, Ethan.  SHEESH.  Stop waking your daughter up so that she won't be late to school.  What kind of a parent does that??  SMH.

Arechin the Seal

Madeleine recently started writing a new book, but after some hard work on the cover, she decided to ditch the effort.

Arechin the Seal (pronounced "Are-Chin", kind of like "Urchin" with an "A.")
by Madeleine Rowe


MADELEINE: So Mama.  Should I make it just a picture, or a book?
ME: It's up to you.
MADELEINE: I think I'll make it just a picture.  Because if I make it a book, I'll have to draw Arechin on every page.  And...Arechin has a LOT of yellow spots.  It takes forever to draw him, and that would get really BORING.  Because...it took so long to draw him on the cover.  And I was lucky that I made it through.  It would take a MILLION YEARS to draw every page.  And humans don't live that long.


That's a well thought-out argument, Madeleine.  She really made her case for not creating a book after all.  I mean, as she says, she's lucky that she made it through.  She doesn't want to spend the rest of her human life working on a book that could never even be finished in her own lifetime.  So Arechin the seal will remain a simple picture, rather than be a book cover, and Madeleine is a-okay with that.

Basketball Game

Last night, we Rowes went to the long-awaited basketball game at the town High School, featuring teams made up of parents and teachers from our elementary school and one of the town's other schools.  This event happens yearly and the rivalry is fierce; at least, that is, among the students.  Those of us who are older and wiser know that the game deliberately ends in a tie every year, so that none of the students leave disappointed.  However, the students have yet to clue in on this fact.  Even when I told Julia that it would undoubtedly end in a tie again this year, she didn't believe me.

JULIA: No, I don't think so.  Last year we almost WON!
ME: But honey, they make it a tied game every year on purpose.
JULIA: No, they don't.  How could they even do that??  They can't MAKE it a tie.
ME: Well, we'll see if it's a tie again this year.  I bet it will be.
JULIA: I don't see how they can make it tied on purpose.  How would they even do that??


Well, if one had paid attention last year, one might have noticed one team scoring points for the other in their basket to make up for some lost points, or some very purposeful missed shots by the leading team, just to cite a few examples.

Madeleine was especially excited because her kindergarten teacher was playing in the game.  When this teacher scored her one - and only - basket, Madeleine stood up in the stands and roared with delight.  Every time our school scored, Madeleine pounded her feet against the bleachers and shook her hands in the air and cheered with all her might.  I honestly can't believe how TOTALLY INTO IT she was.  I guess I shouldn't be so surprised; this is the kid, after all, who was sad that I was in a "really losing place" when I ran my half marathon PR.  It's ALL ABOUT coming out on top in her book.  You're either a winner, or you're a LOSER.

Julia was equally enthusiastic, despite her slight inkling that the teams would tie again.  She spent time with some of her third grade buddies, holding up signs and shaking pom-poms, cheering for her school team.  The child who is too shy to loudly cheer on her swim relay team-mates was, surprisingly, not afraid to shout along with the team chants as she watched the game.  I guess there's strength in numbers.

Speaking of, during half-time, I encouraged Julia to go and say hello to one of her swim team members, with whom Julia swam a relay at Districts, among other meets.  This girl, from the opposing school, has been in Julia's swim group for the last two years, so saying hello should be no biggie, right?  Wrong.  Julia was so crippled with shyness that she not only needed one of her friends to accompany her, but she felt the need to turn and look pleadingly back at me with every step closer she got to her swim-mate, until I coaxed her on, step by step.  Thankfully, the hellos were made and the girls seemed happy to see each other, despite being on rival basketball sides.

The tied ending was almost blown, as an accidental wipe-out occurred while two players vied for the basketball in the last two minutes of the game.  The opposing team was given a foul shot, and the player got a basket, making the score 76-77.  Before I knew it, the score-keeper simply added an extraneous point to our team's score, and the game ended at 77-77.  Tied yet again!  TOLD ya so, Julia!

Afterwards, Madeleine went to find her teacher and give her a hug. 

ME: (to the kindergarten teacher) Madeleine was cheering her head off for you every time you were on the court!
MADELEINE: (to her teacher) Yeah, but I really wanted you to get a BASKET!
TEACHER: Yeah, I only got one basket.  One and done.
MADELEINE: Well, I know what we can do.  In the summer, we can go to the basketball court, and I'll TEACH you how to do a better job getting baskets.

She is going to be a basketball teacher, after all.  Might as well start now.

As we walked to the car, I told Julia about the mystery point awarded to our team to tie things up.  That turned out to be a big mistake.

JULIA: Wait.  So...you mean we really LOST?
ME: No.  It was a tie. 
JULIA: Yeah, but if they just GAVE us an extra point, that means we really LOST.
ME: No, it doesn't.  Did you see how slowly every one was bouncing the ball towards the basket near the end of the game?  They were all trying not to score more points so it could stay tied. 

My explanation didn't soothe her.  As we drove home, Julia lamented our loss from the back seat.

JULIA: I'm sad that we LOST the game.
ME: We didn't lose.  We tied.
JULIA: Yeah, but we really LOST.

My kids are super harsh critics.  Sheesh.  It's a completely rigged game, guys.  Calm the heck down.

Despite the "loss," the girls had an absolute BLAST cheering on their school, so all in all the evening was a success!  Go Eagles!  Way to tie it up yet again, for the umpteenth year in a row!!

Third-Grade Assembly

Julia has been excited all week for the Third Grade Assembly, which took place this afternoon.  Each third grade class demonstrated a particular word through such art forms as skits, poetry, and writing.  Julia's class word was "compassion."  While many of Julia's friends chose to perform a humorous skit, Julia, unsurprisingly, chose to write a paragraph about a historical figure who embodied compassion.

Here she is in a video of a video, reading about Clara Barton:

Furthermore, each class performed a dance, followed by an entire 3rd grade dance:

And things finished off with a song.  You can tell, on this video, about when Julia noticed me in the audience, as she suddenly began desperately attempting to suppress her smile:

Awww.  That assembly was all kinds of heart-warming.  Three cheers for compassion!

Money

The topic of conversation on our walk home from school today:

MADELEINE: Mama?  How come people NEED money?
ME: You mean, why do we need money to live?
MADELEINE: Mmm-hmm.  How come people can't just GIVE each other everything for FREE?
ME: Well, imagine this.  If you decided to build a house for someone and give it to them for free, you would still need all the materials for building.  You'd need to get things from the store, like nails, and plaster, and wood. So you'd have to buy those materials and spend your own money, and you wouldn't make any money back if you give the house away.
MADELEINE: But why can't the store just GIVE you the wood for free?
ME: Well, in order for there to be wood, someone needs to be chopping down trees and sawing and sanding the wood until it's the right shape and size for building with.  That's a LOT of hard work and labor.  That would take a lot of time and effort for someone to do, so really, that person should get paid for working so hard.
MADELEINE: Oh.  Yeah. 
ME: It's the same thing with food.  Somewhere, farmers are growing the food that we go to buy from the grocery store.  So even if the grocery stores gave the food away for free, the farmers who worked so hard growing food should be paid for their labor.
MADELEINE: (thoughtful) But Mama.  Couldn't you, like, just give them a picture of, like, a silly snake or something?
ME: You mean for payment?  Instead of money?
MADELEINE: Right.

I know that if I spent my time toiling and sweating away in the fields, or cutting and sanding wood, there would be no greater reward than receiving a picture of a silly snake.  Who needs money when you can have great art??


ME: What made you wonder why people need money?
MADELEINE: I didn't know why people needed money, because...it's hard to
GET money.
ME: Well, if you have a job, you can get money.
MADELEINE: Huhhhh!??!
ME: Why is that so confusing for you?
MADELEINE: Well...it's hard to DECIDE what kind of job you want to do.
ME: Well, you don't have to have just ONE job for life.  You can try different jobs and switch to something different if you don't like what you're doing.
MADELEINE: Mama?  When I grow up, I want to be a basketball teacher, and there will be a Star of the Week, and the Star of the Week will make a DESIGN, and there will already be a design that's made, and the Star of the Week will get to decorate the outside of it!

Wow.  Madeleine has her whole life figured out here.  Sounds like she's got a career plan in place that's going to land her an amazing job as a basketball teacher/Star-of-the-Week design-overseer.  Dream big, honey!

Artsy Weekend

As is typical on a weekend in the Rowe household, the girls have been busy creating artwork and stories.  Not only are both kids currently writing ghost stories, but they are decorating both the literal and the figurative house.

On the figurative side, we have Julia's cardboard house that she made for her Native American Family figurines:

Despite the fact that a cardboard box is a bit small for a family of 7, Julia has made it a place of inspiration for her family members, decorating each one's room with such uplifting slogans as:

"Be True"
in Aspiya's room

And:

"I'm awesome on the outside and the inside!" in Oloho's room. 

I think Julia may have a future in either personal decorating or in Successories-like inspirational posters.  She certainly has made this a happy home for the Native American family, even if they all have to lay down on the floor when they're inside.


Madeleine had an inspired streak as well, after hearing about a book I'm reading, "The Sixth Extinction," which discusses the rapidly vanishing frog population in South America.  She came up with a sure-fire way to stop the frogs from dying of the fungus that is spreading throughout the amphibian population:

"dow't go icwstingct frog's!"

Come on frogs!  Don't go extinct!  We believe in you!  We *know* you can do it.  Just KICK that Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis in the butt just like this happy fat frog in the picture is doing.  


And, because it's Madeleine, her artwork wouldn't be complete without a little violence.  She also drew and hung up this lovely picture:

"the cheeda and the lioin are haveing a fiht."




Madeleine's hanging animal artwork is making our house almost as nice as the Native American Family's house.  I have to say, I think our house is awesome on the outside AND on the inside, don't you?

Madeleine Rocks in Her School Shoes

Here's Madeleine reading "Pete the Cat: Rocking in My School Shoes" to me at bedtime, complete with her OCD insistence on reading every bit of text that appears in any part of the page, even as part of the illustrations.  She also likes to throw in random comments on the illustrations in the same breath as her reading of the text.  Also, for your aural pleasure, our failed attempt to sing together in unison:

 

 

 

After letting my arms rest for a few pages, I resumed my videoing.  Madeleine got more and more passionate in her attempt to sing as beautifully as possible:

 

 

 

Now THAT'S how you read a bedtime story.

Conversations Under a Hairdryer

Madeleine was chilly after she took her evening shower, so I decided to blow-dry her hair so that she would warm up before getting into bed. 

While I worked on her hair, she carefully studied a bottle of nail polish that was out on the bathroom counter:

MADELEINE: Wait a minute, Mama.  This says "Essie," not "Aussie."
ME: I know that.  I never said it says "Aussie."
MADELEINE: I know, but that's what *I* thought it said.  (thoughtful) What does "Essie" even mean?  (pondering) Oh!  I get it!  "EASY!"  I was pronouncing it "Essie!"
ME: No, it does say "Essie."  "Easy" is spelled differently.  "Essie" is the name of the company that makes that nail polish.
MADELEINE: But what does "Essie" even MEAN?  It's not even a real word!
ME: I know. It's the name of the company.
MADELEINE: Wait.  *I* know.  Maybe the company is all a company of BABIES, and that's how they pronounce a word, so they named it "Essie" because that's how the BABIES say it.

That MUST be it.

ME: Honey, how would babies start a company?  Or make nail polish?
MADELEINE: Well, maybe the company started out as a BABY NURSERY, and the babies kept saying "Essie" because they couldn't pronounce real words, and then the company started making nail polish, and they named it "Essie" because that's what all the babies used to say.

All right, folks.  Let's just acknowledge that Madeleine is going to be a legit code-cracker when she grows up.  She totally figured out why the company is named "Essie."

A few moments later, I decided that her hair was dry enough.

ME: Okay, your hair is still a little wet, but this should be good enough for sleep.
MADELEINE: Ooh, now it's gonna be all SHINY.  Can I look in the mirror?  (glimpsing her reflection) Ooooh!  It *is* shiny!  I *like* it!  But Mama?  Why does it get shiny after you use the hair dryer?
ME: Well, heat will make your hair smooth and that helps it look shiny.
MADELEINE: But why?
ME: Well, that's just one of the properties of heat.  It smooths things out.  That's why a hot iron will smooth out wrinkles in clothes.
MADELEINE: But Mama.  Why DOES heat do that?
ME: Well, it's just one of heat's properties.
MADELEINE: But Mama?  Do even SCIENTISTS know how heat does that?
ME: Yes.
MADELEINE: (awe-struck) WOW!  And what do they say for how?
ME: Well, like I said, it's just one of heat's properties.  That means that heat has certain ways of acting with various materials.  Heat tends to relax things, so something that's curly or wrinkly will smooth out when you use heat.

Madeleine wasn't buying my explanation.

MADELEINE: Well MAMA.  Maybe it's just because, like, it blows things around and blows things around until it gets all SHINY.

Man.  Schooled once again by my 6-year-old.  Like I said, this kid has got a career ahead of her.  She clearly understands the way the world works.

Math Homework

Madeleine's kindergarten class recently learned about "greater than," "less than," and "equal" signs.  In order to remember the difference between < and >, the class was taught that the alligator is always eating the bigger number.

Apparently Madeleine wanted to make this a literal representation in her math homework:

I like the creativity with the added teeth and all, but I'm pretty sure Madeleine's teacher was not intending for the kids to make the symbols actual alligator mouths.

Yet another example of why I have to sit and supervise this kid when she does her homework.

American Girls at School

Despite the fact that it's Sunday, the American Girls are at school:

And it's a *really* exciting day:

JULIA: Mommy? Today the American Girls' teacher is bringing her BABY to school!
ME: Oh, really?  Which doll do you use for the baby?
JULIA: No doll. 
ME: Oh, you just pretend?
JULIA: Yeah.  It's an invisible baby and an invisible teacher.

Wait a minute.  All along, I thought Julia was the teacher whenever she plays American Girl doll school.  After all, isn't she the one who writes on the blackboard, and corrects the spelling tests, and delivers the lectures?  I had no idea that Julia was merely lending her voice to the invisible presence of the invisible teacher.

Julia has made sure to fill me in on all the details throughout the morning.

JULIA: Mommy?  Elizabeth FORGOT that there was school today, and Ivy was trying to wake her up, and Ivy was like, "Wake up, wake up Elizabeth!" and Elizabeth said, "Why are you waking me up so EARLY??" and then she was like, "Oh, yeah, there's SCHOOL!"

JULIA: Mommy?  Felicity and Samantha are missing.  Felicity is SICK, and Samantha's on a trip.

I guess Samantha's just too cool to meet Mrs. Shelling's invisible baby.


JULIA: Mommy, come here!
ME: (standing at her doorway)
JULIA: Are you wondering why some of the dolls are sitting in different seats?

That is EXACTLY the pressing question that is on my mind right now.

ME: Yes.
JULIA: (barely containing her excited anticipation at revealing the answer to the mystery) Because it's SCIENCE time now, and they're sitting with their SCIENCE groups!
ME: Ohhhh, now I get it.


JULIA: Mommy?
ME: Yes?
JULIA: Well, actually, it wasn't the teacher's baby, it was the teacher's kid, like, she was a TODDLER.
ME: Oh, okay.

Whew.  I'm so glad to know that Cecily is an invisible TODDLER, not an invisible baby.  I would have been imagining it all wrong if Julia hadn't set me straight.

JULIA: Mommy?  Come here.  Look: Cecily drew on the blackboard, and she made that smily face and that's how she tried to write "Little Cecily."
ME: Oh, that's so cute.

This is one busy school day for the American Girls! 


While Julia is busy creating this imaginary school world, Madeleine is proving she's with the program, as always.

MADELEINE: Mama?  I might need some help down here!
ME: Should I send Julia to help you?
MADELEINE: Uh, Mama, I can't go pee-pees right now, because I'm cleaning up.

Yup.  Going pee-pees is totally related to what I offered her.  Makes perfect sense that she'd answer in that way.

Now, American Girl school and play-room clean-up time must come to an end, as I have to take my real girls to real Sunday school.  Maybe there will be an invisible toddler there too!

New Book

Check out this heroic tale of rescue and friendship:

Buny-bun and kut-kity
by Madeleine Rowe

 "One's ther was a kity her name was kute-kity."
She is pretty kute.  Not only is she pink, but she can stand upright on her hind legs.  That is one special kity.

"Until one-day....................she soea a litle buny she neadid help."
Yipes!  That buny is in one heck of a precarious situation!  What strong front paws she must have to be able to hang on to the cliff side for dear life!

"helow my name is kut-kity wuht's your's?'  askte kute kity.  'buny-bun' aswerde kute buny-bun.  'oh ok i'le get you off of this clife' sead kut kity.  'i'le dige' sead buny-bun."

WHEW.  Kut-kity to the rescue!  I thought things were going to turn out pretty badly for Buny-bun there until kute-kity came along.

Also, readers, be sure to internalize the moral of this story: DO NOT attempt to rescue a creature on the verge of death UNTIL you have introduced yourself and asked his or her name.  That's the only way to know it's safe to proceed with your rescue.

THE END!