Morning Gory

So, we had a fun morning in the Rowe household. 

Julia asked me to take out her birthstone studs and put her hoop earrings in her ears.  20 minutes until the bus, plenty of time for a simple task, right?

Except it turned out that the backing of the of the studs had actually become lodged inside the skin of Julia's earlobe.  Like, it wasn't even visible to the eye.  The skin had enveloped it completely.  I finally managed to extract the front of the stud from its backing and pull it out of her ear, but it was a combined effort between Ethan and I to actually locate and then remove the backing, using a pair of sterilized tweezers.

Julia's response to all of this was to sob hysterically throughout the entire procedure and refuse any alternative options we offered.

ME: Let me see if I can grab onto the edge of the backing with tweezers.
JULIA: (wailing in hysteria) But that will HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT!  It hurts!  Ow!  It hurts!
ETHAN: Do you think we should just take her to the ER?
JULIA: (wailing in more escalated hysteria) NOOOOOOOOO!  I don't wanna go to the HOOOOSPIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAALLL!  NOOOOOOO!
ETHAN: Okay, well, let me just look at it.
JULIA: But it HUUUUUUUUUUURTS when you touch iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Not giving us a lotta options here, Jules. 

Ethan finally managed to get the backing out with the tweezers, and I set about cleaning Julia's ear with rubbing alcohol and applying a generous coating of triple antibiotic ointment.

ME: It's still bleeding a bit, and it will probably continue to ooze blood during the day.
JULIA: (resuming to hysteria) BUT I DON'T WANT BLOOOOD ALL OVER MY FAAAAACE AT SCHOOOOOOOOOL!!!!
ETHAN: Well, go to the nurse if it starts bleeding more.

Ugh, that poor kid; it was gruesome enough trying to perform the procedure; I can;t imagine how painful it was to feel it.

Meanwhile, my morning with Madeleine was a bit more typical:

MADELEINE: Mommy.  What did the EAR say to the MOUTH?  Wait.  I mean...what did the EAR say to the...the...the...wait, what's the kind of music?  That's really LOUD?  With the screaming?
ME: Uh, heavy metal music? 
MADELEINE: Oh.  Yeah!  What did the EAR say to the heavy-metal music?
ME: What?
MADELEINE: Stop it.  You're making me EAR-itated.  (beaming proudly.)  Get it?  EAR?  Itated?

I get it.  She's got a future in stand-up comedy.