Julia and Madeleine have, for some reason, been watching "Love it or List It" on HGTV lately. And, surprise surprise, Madeleine has become inspired to create her *own* version of the show.
MADELEINE: Julia? Why do you like HGTV so much?
JULIA: Because I like looking at houses.
MADELEINE: Then would you like *my* HGTV? It's called "Room Boom." It's where, like, one person looks up models of a room, like how you could do it, and the other person decorates their room how they think THEY would like it. How you think the person whose room it is would like it.
Sounds fun! Anyone wanna sign up for Room Boom?
I'm not entirely sure what has drawn the girls to shows about flipping houses and real estate. I tried asking them about it, but their answers were a bit vague.
ME: Julia, why do you like watching house shows so much?
JULIA: Because! I just really like looking in houses!
MADELEINE: Yeah! They're COZY!
Hmm. Not sure I'd call a lot of those fabulous homes on tv "cozy," but...okay. Maybe I'd better take the kids on our town's next Holiday House Tour, so Julia can look inside all kinds of houses!
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Monday, May 28, 2018
More Science
Madeleine has moved beyond her excitement about making ice cream. Last night she was amped up about a different project.
MADELEINE: I can't WAIT for tomorrow!
ME: To try the ice cream?
MADELEINE: No, because tomorrow I'm gonna LEARN! I get to READ, and I'm gonna learn all about how to be a scientist.
Madeleine sure stuck to her plan. She planted herself smack dab in the middle of the living room to read "Women in Science:"
JULIA: (galloping through) Can you move your LEGS over a little bit, Madeleine??
After finishing her book, Madeleine undertook a slew of self-designed science projects. She hasn't yet gotten to her chemistry project, which, by its description, will involve water and baking soda, but she has been working hard on her engineering project.
Using chopsticks and cardboard circles that she had traced and cut out, Madeleine managed to make a vehicle. She was a little disappointed that she couldn't get the wheels to actually revolve, but she was able to get her "car" to roll across the living room floor. She was delighted by her success.
MADELEINE: I made a "rolling stick": AKA a CAR!
Brava, Madeleine! From thinking of math problems on the swing to creating her own car, I think she has proven herself a place among the other Women in Science!
MADELEINE: I can't WAIT for tomorrow!
ME: To try the ice cream?
MADELEINE: No, because tomorrow I'm gonna LEARN! I get to READ, and I'm gonna learn all about how to be a scientist.
Madeleine sure stuck to her plan. She planted herself smack dab in the middle of the living room to read "Women in Science:"
JULIA: (galloping through) Can you move your LEGS over a little bit, Madeleine??
After finishing her book, Madeleine undertook a slew of self-designed science projects. She hasn't yet gotten to her chemistry project, which, by its description, will involve water and baking soda, but she has been working hard on her engineering project.
Using chopsticks and cardboard circles that she had traced and cut out, Madeleine managed to make a vehicle. She was a little disappointed that she couldn't get the wheels to actually revolve, but she was able to get her "car" to roll across the living room floor. She was delighted by her success.
MADELEINE: I made a "rolling stick": AKA a CAR!
Brava, Madeleine! From thinking of math problems on the swing to creating her own car, I think she has proven herself a place among the other Women in Science!
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Madeleine the Scientist
Madeleine is currently reading the book "Women in Science," so, as usual, she has become inspired and now imagines herself a scientist. Apparently this has extended into her time at school recess.
MADELEINE: When I was on the swings at recess, I thought, "What would a scientist do? A scientist would do MATH." So I made up my own math questions and answered them in my mind.
I am certainly not going to fault her for deciding to practice math facts of her own accord. However, I would argue that a scientist might be more likely to think about the physics and mechanics of how the swing works than practice math problems while swinging, but whatever. *I'm* no scientist, so what do I know?
Madeleine has also shown off her verbal prowess while discussing her wariness of home made ice cream.
Last night, right before bed:
MADELEINE: I wish it was TOMORROW! Because Auntie Shannon is going to show me how to make home-made ice cream tomorrow!
ME: I know, you told me.
MADELEINE: But...I'm SKEPTICAL, because I didn't like the way home-made marshmallows tasted, so I might not like home-made ice cream.
I honestly had no idea she knows the word "skeptical." I was skeptical of Madeleine knowing "skeptical" until she went and used it correctly in context. Sheesh.
And her skepticism allows her to be a scientist while making ice cream: she hypothesizes that she may not like it, so she will be able to either confirm or deny her theory upon tasting the final product!
MADELEINE: When I was on the swings at recess, I thought, "What would a scientist do? A scientist would do MATH." So I made up my own math questions and answered them in my mind.
I am certainly not going to fault her for deciding to practice math facts of her own accord. However, I would argue that a scientist might be more likely to think about the physics and mechanics of how the swing works than practice math problems while swinging, but whatever. *I'm* no scientist, so what do I know?
Madeleine has also shown off her verbal prowess while discussing her wariness of home made ice cream.
Last night, right before bed:
MADELEINE: I wish it was TOMORROW! Because Auntie Shannon is going to show me how to make home-made ice cream tomorrow!
ME: I know, you told me.
MADELEINE: But...I'm SKEPTICAL, because I didn't like the way home-made marshmallows tasted, so I might not like home-made ice cream.
I honestly had no idea she knows the word "skeptical." I was skeptical of Madeleine knowing "skeptical" until she went and used it correctly in context. Sheesh.
And her skepticism allows her to be a scientist while making ice cream: she hypothesizes that she may not like it, so she will be able to either confirm or deny her theory upon tasting the final product!
Friday, May 25, 2018
Julia's New Song
Julia made up a new song this morning and proceeded to bellow it out, adding more and more verses, until it was time to go to school. Let me assure you that the whole time I was *not* recording her, she sang with full-voiced confidence, even proclaiming at one point, "I'm PROUD of that rhyme. That was a really good rhyme!" However, as soon as the camera was on, Julia was all giggles and forgetting the words (which hadn't really existed to begin with, as she was improvising the song on the fly.) Oh, and in case you can't hear through her giggles on the video, the rhyme of which she was so proud?: Livin' in a Poop Yard is the best! My yard is the poopiest!
Enjoy the giggly version of Livin' in a Poop Yard by Julia Rowe:
Enjoy the giggly version of Livin' in a Poop Yard by Julia Rowe:
Thursday, May 24, 2018
Pool Problem
We Rowes have been out of luck lately with outdoor pools! Our town pool, which was closed for construction last summer and was due to open this summer, is woefully behind schedule and may not even open until mid-August. I then re-joined the outdoor pool we paid a truckload for last summer, comforted by the fact that at least this pool opens May 21. Unfortunately, they are also behind schedule, so when the Rowe ladies showed up this afternoon, right after lunch, as the public schools had an Early Release, we were told the pool is not yet open.
Julia couldn't handle life after this news, because any other pool that we could possibly go to was unacceptable to her. I suggested we go to Lap Swim at the Y, but she refused to be seen at her usual pool unless she was at swim team practice. I suggested other Y pools in the area, but she simply could not EVEN. Madeleine was begging for us to go to a pool, any pool, because she really wanted to play, and I finally decided to see if we could pay for access to the indoor pool at the sports club we were already at.
Smart idea I had, because it turned out that as an apology for the outdoor pool being closed, we were allowed inside the Sports Club to use the indoor pool for free. The girls were super excited upon hearing the news and cheerfully followed me out to the pool deck. It wasn't long before they were happily in the water:
Julia, who has to miss swim team practice this evening due to her Honors Band and Chorus concerts, opted to do some laps, while Madeleine played with our Dive Sharks. Last summer's game, "Death to Sharks," was quickly resurrected, and Madeleine had me toss the sharks for her to try and rescue, cheerily telling me which ones had died after she popped her head back above water.
MADELEINE: So, Mommy, Torpedo's dead, because he touched the ground, and if you touch the ground, you DIE.
Julia was so envious of Madeleine playing with the sharks that her interest in a lap workout suddenly waned. She had just finished a 200 IM and since I am not a swim coach I asked her what she should swim next.
ME: Okay, what do you want to do next? Some 50s?
JULIA: Death to Sharks.
ME: Well, why don't you do laps a little longer so Madeleine can play with the sharks on her own?
JULIA: (glowering at me like I'm ruining her life)
Once Julia did join in playing with Madeleine, I thought I could leave the pool edge and dry off in a chair for awhile. However, Julia and Madeleine decided to loudly argue over the rules of what makes you dead in "Death to Sharks."
JULIA: No, Madeleine! That's NOT how you play it. You're DEAD if you're under water for more than a minute.
MADELEINE: No, Julia! You're DEAD if you touch the ground.
JULIA: Madeleine! That's not how you DIE!
MADELEINE: Julia, that's how I make them die.
JULIA: No, Madeleine, remember last summer? You don't DIE if you touch the ground. You DIE if you're under water for more than one minute.
MADELEINE: No, Julia-
JULIA: No, MADELEINE! -
So I had to go intervene and suggest that, given this was a made-up game, they were allowed to have different rules on shark deaths, and just had to be clear on which version they were going to play. One version can have the sharks die when they touch the ground, one version can have the sharks die if they've been under water for too long. For crying out loud, we really don't need to be yelling at each other about the made-up rules of a made-up game.
After the little spat, the girls resumed playing happily, and opted for a game of "Hide the Sharks" instead, which kept them both entertained, and all in all, our failed attempt at an outdoor pool adventure turned into a successful indoor pool experience!
Julia couldn't handle life after this news, because any other pool that we could possibly go to was unacceptable to her. I suggested we go to Lap Swim at the Y, but she refused to be seen at her usual pool unless she was at swim team practice. I suggested other Y pools in the area, but she simply could not EVEN. Madeleine was begging for us to go to a pool, any pool, because she really wanted to play, and I finally decided to see if we could pay for access to the indoor pool at the sports club we were already at.
Smart idea I had, because it turned out that as an apology for the outdoor pool being closed, we were allowed inside the Sports Club to use the indoor pool for free. The girls were super excited upon hearing the news and cheerfully followed me out to the pool deck. It wasn't long before they were happily in the water:
Julia, who has to miss swim team practice this evening due to her Honors Band and Chorus concerts, opted to do some laps, while Madeleine played with our Dive Sharks. Last summer's game, "Death to Sharks," was quickly resurrected, and Madeleine had me toss the sharks for her to try and rescue, cheerily telling me which ones had died after she popped her head back above water.
MADELEINE: So, Mommy, Torpedo's dead, because he touched the ground, and if you touch the ground, you DIE.
Julia was so envious of Madeleine playing with the sharks that her interest in a lap workout suddenly waned. She had just finished a 200 IM and since I am not a swim coach I asked her what she should swim next.
ME: Okay, what do you want to do next? Some 50s?
JULIA: Death to Sharks.
ME: Well, why don't you do laps a little longer so Madeleine can play with the sharks on her own?
JULIA: (glowering at me like I'm ruining her life)
Once Julia did join in playing with Madeleine, I thought I could leave the pool edge and dry off in a chair for awhile. However, Julia and Madeleine decided to loudly argue over the rules of what makes you dead in "Death to Sharks."
JULIA: No, Madeleine! That's NOT how you play it. You're DEAD if you're under water for more than a minute.
MADELEINE: No, Julia! You're DEAD if you touch the ground.
JULIA: Madeleine! That's not how you DIE!
MADELEINE: Julia, that's how I make them die.
JULIA: No, Madeleine, remember last summer? You don't DIE if you touch the ground. You DIE if you're under water for more than one minute.
MADELEINE: No, Julia-
JULIA: No, MADELEINE! -
So I had to go intervene and suggest that, given this was a made-up game, they were allowed to have different rules on shark deaths, and just had to be clear on which version they were going to play. One version can have the sharks die when they touch the ground, one version can have the sharks die if they've been under water for too long. For crying out loud, we really don't need to be yelling at each other about the made-up rules of a made-up game.
After the little spat, the girls resumed playing happily, and opted for a game of "Hide the Sharks" instead, which kept them both entertained, and all in all, our failed attempt at an outdoor pool adventure turned into a successful indoor pool experience!
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
Sick Kiddies
The poor kids have been sick and kind of miserable of late. Julia stayed home from school on Monday with a sore throat, and I took her in to get a throat culture after work, which was positive for strep. I knew something was really off, because Julia was just not herself. Not a single step was galloped all day! She just sat around shivering (despite the 85 degree temperatures) and languid. Within 12 hours of starting an antibiotic, she was back to her usual chatterbox self, so I am hoping we have turned the corner. Still no galloping, but maybe Lilly Mintz is just sick with strep herself, so there's not much to think about in the Mintz world, aside from Lilly resting in bed.
Madeleine has been a snot factory, so congested that her breathing makes a rattling, suctioning sound. She now has a cough to go along with her congestion, and let me tell you: her fingers are pretty much CONSTANTLY up her nose. I keep trying to remind her how germy that is, and I discovered that Madeleine never fully understood why I tell her not to pick her nose.
ME: Honey, your mucus carries as much bacteria and viruses as your saliva, so every time you stick your finger up your nose and then touch something, you could be passing along your sickness.
MADELEINE: Oh! Mommy! I always thought you told me not to pick my nose because it's GROSS! *Now* I understand it's because it spreads GERMS!
It's both, honey. And her realization has not stopped the picking fest, although she has made one amendment.
MADELEINE: Mommy. At school, if you pick your nose, you have to go and throw it in the trash and wash your hands. So now I *only* pick my nose at HOME.
How about no nose-picking at all? I guess that's too much to ask while she's full of snot, but maybe as a post-allergy/cold goal?!?
Fingers crossed for a swift return to 100% health in the Rowe household, and a LOT less mucus!
Madeleine has been a snot factory, so congested that her breathing makes a rattling, suctioning sound. She now has a cough to go along with her congestion, and let me tell you: her fingers are pretty much CONSTANTLY up her nose. I keep trying to remind her how germy that is, and I discovered that Madeleine never fully understood why I tell her not to pick her nose.
ME: Honey, your mucus carries as much bacteria and viruses as your saliva, so every time you stick your finger up your nose and then touch something, you could be passing along your sickness.
MADELEINE: Oh! Mommy! I always thought you told me not to pick my nose because it's GROSS! *Now* I understand it's because it spreads GERMS!
It's both, honey. And her realization has not stopped the picking fest, although she has made one amendment.
MADELEINE: Mommy. At school, if you pick your nose, you have to go and throw it in the trash and wash your hands. So now I *only* pick my nose at HOME.
How about no nose-picking at all? I guess that's too much to ask while she's full of snot, but maybe as a post-allergy/cold goal?!?
Fingers crossed for a swift return to 100% health in the Rowe household, and a LOT less mucus!
Sunday, May 20, 2018
Garage Door Adventures
Today, as I was scrambling to leave for church, I backed straight into the closed garage door. Now THAT'S the way to start your commute, folks.
Julia reacted with her usual level-headed practicality.
ME: (pressing the garage door remote and seeing the door open only a few inches) Uh-oh, I better try and pull the door open.
JULIA: (on the verge of hysteria) BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?!?
ME: Hang on. I have to see if I can pull the door open. (climbing out of the car and grunting around trying to lift the door)
JULIA: Mommy! You shouldn't be DOING THAT! YOU NEED TO CALL THE FIRE STATION SO SOMEONE CAN COME RESCUE US AND GET US OUT OF HERE!
I don't know if Julia remembers that we have other doors to our house. We were not, in fact, trapped inside in need of rescue. It was just a matter of whether we could get our car out of the garage.
ME: (continuing to pull on the door, succeeding in lifting it a few more inches)
JULIA: Do you need help?
ME: Uh...you know what? You and Madeleine stay in the car, just for safety.
JULIA: (again on the verge of hysteria) GREAT, SO YOU'RE GONNA LET YOURSELF DIE?!?!?
ME: Oh my-
JULIA: (hysterically sobbing from inside the car) MOMMY'S GONNA DIIIIIE!
MADELEINE: (bursting into sobs along with her sister)
I mean, here, I was just thinking it would be easiest for me not to have to worry about whether the kids were directly under the door as I tried to finagle it, just in case it went slamming shut, but the girls apparently saw my desire for them to be out of the way as proof of my imminent demise.
I managed to get the garage door open manually, and -- SPOILER ALERT -- I didn't die, so we were able to head out for church. On our way there, the car tires were a little slippery on some wet patches of road.
JULIA: What's wrong with the car? Is it broken? IS THAT WHY IT'S MAKING THAT SOUND?!?!?
ME: It's just the tires on the wet road, honey.
I merged onto the highway, and Julia treated every nearby car like a grenade heading straight towards our car to blow it up. She jumped and flinched at every vehicle around us and at one point began screeching a warning about a car passing us in the left lane, as cars on the highway in the left lane are wont to do.
JULIA: MOMMY WATCH OUT LOOK AT THAT CAR WHAT'S HAPPENING IS IT GONNA HIT US IS OUR CAR GONNA EXPLODE MOMMY I'M SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!
We managed to get to church in one piece, and home without incident, as well. Ethan got out his tool kit and fixed the kinks in the garage door, getting all the wheels back on the tracks so that it would once again open and close when the remote control is pressed. Now that order has been restored to Julia's universe, she is surprisingly chipper about the whole ordeal.
JULIA: Mommy? I feel like the garage door opens kind of weird, but it's okay! We might have a door that's a little wonky, but at least we have a door that works!!
I appreciate her looking on the bright side, even if it did take several hours of ice-cold panic before she could get there. I'm so glad Ethan was able to fix the door, though I could possibly use a little tune-up on my spaced-out Mom brain!
Julia reacted with her usual level-headed practicality.
ME: (pressing the garage door remote and seeing the door open only a few inches) Uh-oh, I better try and pull the door open.
JULIA: (on the verge of hysteria) BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?!?
ME: Hang on. I have to see if I can pull the door open. (climbing out of the car and grunting around trying to lift the door)
JULIA: Mommy! You shouldn't be DOING THAT! YOU NEED TO CALL THE FIRE STATION SO SOMEONE CAN COME RESCUE US AND GET US OUT OF HERE!
I don't know if Julia remembers that we have other doors to our house. We were not, in fact, trapped inside in need of rescue. It was just a matter of whether we could get our car out of the garage.
ME: (continuing to pull on the door, succeeding in lifting it a few more inches)
JULIA: Do you need help?
ME: Uh...you know what? You and Madeleine stay in the car, just for safety.
JULIA: (again on the verge of hysteria) GREAT, SO YOU'RE GONNA LET YOURSELF DIE?!?!?
ME: Oh my-
JULIA: (hysterically sobbing from inside the car) MOMMY'S GONNA DIIIIIE!
MADELEINE: (bursting into sobs along with her sister)
I mean, here, I was just thinking it would be easiest for me not to have to worry about whether the kids were directly under the door as I tried to finagle it, just in case it went slamming shut, but the girls apparently saw my desire for them to be out of the way as proof of my imminent demise.
I managed to get the garage door open manually, and -- SPOILER ALERT -- I didn't die, so we were able to head out for church. On our way there, the car tires were a little slippery on some wet patches of road.
JULIA: What's wrong with the car? Is it broken? IS THAT WHY IT'S MAKING THAT SOUND?!?!?
ME: It's just the tires on the wet road, honey.
I merged onto the highway, and Julia treated every nearby car like a grenade heading straight towards our car to blow it up. She jumped and flinched at every vehicle around us and at one point began screeching a warning about a car passing us in the left lane, as cars on the highway in the left lane are wont to do.
JULIA: MOMMY WATCH OUT LOOK AT THAT CAR WHAT'S HAPPENING IS IT GONNA HIT US IS OUR CAR GONNA EXPLODE MOMMY I'M SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!
We managed to get to church in one piece, and home without incident, as well. Ethan got out his tool kit and fixed the kinks in the garage door, getting all the wheels back on the tracks so that it would once again open and close when the remote control is pressed. Now that order has been restored to Julia's universe, she is surprisingly chipper about the whole ordeal.
JULIA: Mommy? I feel like the garage door opens kind of weird, but it's okay! We might have a door that's a little wonky, but at least we have a door that works!!
I appreciate her looking on the bright side, even if it did take several hours of ice-cold panic before she could get there. I'm so glad Ethan was able to fix the door, though I could possibly use a little tune-up on my spaced-out Mom brain!
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Animal Shelter. Again.
So, a month or so ago, Madeleine came up with the great idea to open an animal shelter. I figured that, with time, the enthusiasm for this idea would fizzle out; however, Madeleine remains strongly attached to this plan and has even recruited friends from school in her crusade. And guys. She, like, really really literally thinks this is going to happen. At a quartet rehearsal last night, to which we brought the kids, Madeleine sidled up to me to whisper an urgent question.
MADELEINE: Mommy? How much does just a SMALL building cost to buy?
ME: Uh...a couple of million.
Madeleine was taken aback, but not deterred. The plan is still on, folks. And she is NOT backing down. She and her friends plan ALL KINDS of fund-raising activities.
MADELEINE: So, Mommy, we need to plan days for baking AND for making things.
ME: Honey, you know that you won't be able to raise enough to buy a building with just a lemonade stand and a bake sale, right?
MADELEINE: Well, Mommy. That's why I've got a lot of HEADS involved. A lot of people from school are gonna help, and, like, if we get tired of bake sales, then we'll do CRAFT sales, and sell artwork we make.
ME: But sweetheart. I don't think you can get the amount of money you'd need from those kinds of sales.
MADELEINE: No, Mommy, we have it all planned out!
I then tried a different tactic.
ME: So, you also have to think about the fact that you need to pay employees to work at the shelter.
MADELEINE: Oh, Mommy, we already figured that out. That's why I have a lot of HEADS involved. We're all gonna take turns taking care of the animals.
ME: But what about when you're at school?
MADELEINE: Well, if there are any grown-ups that don't have anything while we're at school, then maybe THEY can take care of the animals.
ME: But what if we're at work?
MADELEINE: Well Mommy. Remember I made a sign that says "Open" or "Closed?" So if no one is free, then we'll hang the "Closed" sign!
Oh, so we're just gonna abandon the animals when no one can work? Or do we kick them out of the shelter when there are no "heads" available and then invite them back in once we're open again?
I guess I've changed my mind. This plan seems pretty fool-proof after all. Now let's all go sell five million dollars worth of lemonade!
MADELEINE: Mommy? How much does just a SMALL building cost to buy?
ME: Uh...a couple of million.
Madeleine was taken aback, but not deterred. The plan is still on, folks. And she is NOT backing down. She and her friends plan ALL KINDS of fund-raising activities.
MADELEINE: So, Mommy, we need to plan days for baking AND for making things.
ME: Honey, you know that you won't be able to raise enough to buy a building with just a lemonade stand and a bake sale, right?
MADELEINE: Well, Mommy. That's why I've got a lot of HEADS involved. A lot of people from school are gonna help, and, like, if we get tired of bake sales, then we'll do CRAFT sales, and sell artwork we make.
ME: But sweetheart. I don't think you can get the amount of money you'd need from those kinds of sales.
MADELEINE: No, Mommy, we have it all planned out!
I then tried a different tactic.
ME: So, you also have to think about the fact that you need to pay employees to work at the shelter.
MADELEINE: Oh, Mommy, we already figured that out. That's why I have a lot of HEADS involved. We're all gonna take turns taking care of the animals.
ME: But what about when you're at school?
MADELEINE: Well, if there are any grown-ups that don't have anything while we're at school, then maybe THEY can take care of the animals.
ME: But what if we're at work?
MADELEINE: Well Mommy. Remember I made a sign that says "Open" or "Closed?" So if no one is free, then we'll hang the "Closed" sign!
Oh, so we're just gonna abandon the animals when no one can work? Or do we kick them out of the shelter when there are no "heads" available and then invite them back in once we're open again?
I guess I've changed my mind. This plan seems pretty fool-proof after all. Now let's all go sell five million dollars worth of lemonade!
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Outcasts
I don't know about you, but I think this book looks like it's gonna be REALLY good...
OUTCASTS
By Madeleine Rowe
Monday, May 14, 2018
Clowns. AGAIN.
Julia, last night, scampering into our bedroom at 9pm.
ME: Good night, honey.
JULIA: Um, Mommy, um...I was reading my book, and it made me scared about CLOWNS again.
ME: Honey, clowns are not scary. Clowns are supposed to cheer children up and make them laugh.
JULIA: No they're not. Clowns are SCARY CREEPY creatures that MURDER people.
ETHAN: It's perfectly legitimate to find clowns creepy, but there is no reason to be scared of them right now.
JULIA: But what if one comes into my bedroom and MURDERS me?
ME: Julia. I will bet my LIFE on the fact that there is NO WAY a clown is going to come into your bedroom tonight.
JULIA: But did you lock all the doors?
ME: Yes.
JULIA: What about the back door?
ME: Yes, honey.
JULIA: Can you check EVERYWHERE in the house to make sure there are no CLOWNS?
ME: No. Julia. There are no clowns. Go to bed.
JULIA: But-
ME: Honey, there is nothing scary about clowns.
JULIA: Yes there IS!
ETHAN: It's fine if you finds clowns scary, Julia, but think about this: which scenario is more likely? A) That you go into your bedroom and go to sleep and a clown comes and murders you, B) That you go into your bedroom and go to sleep and when you walk out of your bedroom in the morning, a cow falls on your head, or C) That you go into your bedroom and go to sleep and tomorrow morning you wake up and go to school?
JULIA: (tentatively) The last one??
ME: Right. Go to bed.
ETHAN: So, there might be a .00000001 percent chance-
I had no patience for his logic.
ME: No. There are no clowns. Go now. To your room. A clown is not going to come into your bedroom. Good night.
JULIA: (getting up and slowly making her way to the door)
ME: A clown is NOT GOING TO GET YOU.
JULIA: It won't get me in my room but ITCANGETMEOUTHERE! (sprinting through the hallway into her bedroom and shutting her door emphatically for safety.)
Rest assured, it was Scenario C that came true for Julia this morning. No clowns or cows around here, folks.
ME: Good night, honey.
JULIA: Um, Mommy, um...I was reading my book, and it made me scared about CLOWNS again.
ME: Honey, clowns are not scary. Clowns are supposed to cheer children up and make them laugh.
JULIA: No they're not. Clowns are SCARY CREEPY creatures that MURDER people.
ETHAN: It's perfectly legitimate to find clowns creepy, but there is no reason to be scared of them right now.
JULIA: But what if one comes into my bedroom and MURDERS me?
ME: Julia. I will bet my LIFE on the fact that there is NO WAY a clown is going to come into your bedroom tonight.
JULIA: But did you lock all the doors?
ME: Yes.
JULIA: What about the back door?
ME: Yes, honey.
JULIA: Can you check EVERYWHERE in the house to make sure there are no CLOWNS?
ME: No. Julia. There are no clowns. Go to bed.
JULIA: But-
ME: Honey, there is nothing scary about clowns.
JULIA: Yes there IS!
ETHAN: It's fine if you finds clowns scary, Julia, but think about this: which scenario is more likely? A) That you go into your bedroom and go to sleep and a clown comes and murders you, B) That you go into your bedroom and go to sleep and when you walk out of your bedroom in the morning, a cow falls on your head, or C) That you go into your bedroom and go to sleep and tomorrow morning you wake up and go to school?
JULIA: (tentatively) The last one??
ME: Right. Go to bed.
ETHAN: So, there might be a .00000001 percent chance-
I had no patience for his logic.
ME: No. There are no clowns. Go now. To your room. A clown is not going to come into your bedroom. Good night.
JULIA: (getting up and slowly making her way to the door)
ME: A clown is NOT GOING TO GET YOU.
JULIA: It won't get me in my room but ITCANGETMEOUTHERE! (sprinting through the hallway into her bedroom and shutting her door emphatically for safety.)
Rest assured, it was Scenario C that came true for Julia this morning. No clowns or cows around here, folks.
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Mother's Day
Madeleine decided to go ALL OUT for me on Mother's Day. She asked Ethan to take her to the store yesterday, whereat she bought the necessary decorations for my "party."
She almost blew it yesterday, but managed to cover herself REALLY CONVINCINGLY.
MADELEINE: (handing me a bracelet) Here, Mommy. This is your EARLY present. It's your ticket to the party! Um. It's...I mean...it's your ticket to sleep until...what time do you need to get up tomorrow?
ME: Probably 7.
MADELEINE: It's your ticket to sleep until 7. Okay, Mommy? That's what it is. It's your ticket to sleep until 7. Mommy, it's your ticket to sleep until 7.
Okay. Got it. It's definitely NOT my ticket to the party.
The party started as soon as I was awake this morning. I walked into the living room to see:
But wait! Where are all the guests?
Julia was still sleeping, and Madeleine was "hiding" under the chair. The surprise reveal got a little bit spoiled, however, when Madeleine got herself stuck trying to slide out from underneath:
MADELEINE: (wriggling around and grunting with effort) Okay. Hang on. Wait a sec. I have to get...(grunting some more and wriggling) Hang on...okay! (coming free and popping up to her feet) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I then received my gifts, which included a "four-wheel":
MADELEINE: See Mommy? It's a "four-wheel," because it has four different sides with a different picture on each, and you hang it up with this string, but this is the part that's really AGGRAVATING, because it doesn't really WORK.
Well, it's the thought that counts, right?
I also received hand-made cards from both girls (poor groggy Julia was dragged from a sound sleep in her bed to join the gift-giving), as well as original artwork and poems. How lucky am I??
MADELEINE: See? I told you this was gonna be the best Mother's Day ever!
Madeleine even decorated the previously decorated bag that she put my presents in:
MADELEINE: See, Mommy? Did you notice that instead of "Frozen," I changed it to "CHOSEN," and it says "Congratulations Courtney Rowe, you have been chosen as the Best Mommy in the world! Here are your awards!"
OMG. I am SO. HONORED.
Finally, I got to attend the "Ribbon Cutting." Julia had to hold one end of a streamer, Ethan held the other end, and Madeleine gave me some official words to recite. Upon my last work, I cut the ribbon, just as Madeleine sprayed pieces of paper that she had colored out of her megaphone. Unfortunately, the "confetti" all just fell out of the megaphone as soon as she picked it up, so we had to have a re-do.
MADELEINE: HAPP-(accidentally dumping all the confetti upon picking up the megaphone) ugh, this happens ALL the time. And no one ever helps me pick it up.
ME: I'll help you. (picking up pieces of paper and sticking them back in the horn of the megaphone)
MADELEINE: Okay. Let me do that again. (shaking the paper out of the megaphone) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I really got the royal treatment this year. Thank you, my sweet and wildly creative children, for reminding me just how loved I am!
She almost blew it yesterday, but managed to cover herself REALLY CONVINCINGLY.
MADELEINE: (handing me a bracelet) Here, Mommy. This is your EARLY present. It's your ticket to the party! Um. It's...I mean...it's your ticket to sleep until...what time do you need to get up tomorrow?
ME: Probably 7.
MADELEINE: It's your ticket to sleep until 7. Okay, Mommy? That's what it is. It's your ticket to sleep until 7. Mommy, it's your ticket to sleep until 7.
Okay. Got it. It's definitely NOT my ticket to the party.
The party started as soon as I was awake this morning. I walked into the living room to see:
But wait! Where are all the guests?
Julia was still sleeping, and Madeleine was "hiding" under the chair. The surprise reveal got a little bit spoiled, however, when Madeleine got herself stuck trying to slide out from underneath:
MADELEINE: (wriggling around and grunting with effort) Okay. Hang on. Wait a sec. I have to get...(grunting some more and wriggling) Hang on...okay! (coming free and popping up to her feet) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I then received my gifts, which included a "four-wheel":
Well, it's the thought that counts, right?
I also received hand-made cards from both girls (poor groggy Julia was dragged from a sound sleep in her bed to join the gift-giving), as well as original artwork and poems. How lucky am I??
MADELEINE: See? I told you this was gonna be the best Mother's Day ever!
Madeleine even decorated the previously decorated bag that she put my presents in:
MADELEINE: See, Mommy? Did you notice that instead of "Frozen," I changed it to "CHOSEN," and it says "Congratulations Courtney Rowe, you have been chosen as the Best Mommy in the world! Here are your awards!"
OMG. I am SO. HONORED.
Finally, I got to attend the "Ribbon Cutting." Julia had to hold one end of a streamer, Ethan held the other end, and Madeleine gave me some official words to recite. Upon my last work, I cut the ribbon, just as Madeleine sprayed pieces of paper that she had colored out of her megaphone. Unfortunately, the "confetti" all just fell out of the megaphone as soon as she picked it up, so we had to have a re-do.
MADELEINE: HAPP-(accidentally dumping all the confetti upon picking up the megaphone) ugh, this happens ALL the time. And no one ever helps me pick it up.
ME: I'll help you. (picking up pieces of paper and sticking them back in the horn of the megaphone)
MADELEINE: Okay. Let me do that again. (shaking the paper out of the megaphone) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I really got the royal treatment this year. Thank you, my sweet and wildly creative children, for reminding me just how loved I am!
Friday, May 11, 2018
Talent Show
For the school talent show this year, Madeleine composed her own song, "Just Myself." She got to run through it at tonight's dress rehearsal.
I can't wait to see her perform it again at tomorrow's show! However, I have been given strict instructions on how to behave as an audience member, based on tonight's behavior. I am *only* allowed to clap; Madeleine has forbidden me from saying "Woo-hoo!" "Hooray!" or "Wooo!" after ANY performances, because it is just unacceptably embarrassing. So, though I will be cheering on the inside, I will endeavor to give only lukewarm applause after Madeleine's song.
I can't wait to see her perform it again at tomorrow's show! However, I have been given strict instructions on how to behave as an audience member, based on tonight's behavior. I am *only* allowed to clap; Madeleine has forbidden me from saying "Woo-hoo!" "Hooray!" or "Wooo!" after ANY performances, because it is just unacceptably embarrassing. So, though I will be cheering on the inside, I will endeavor to give only lukewarm applause after Madeleine's song.
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Mi Familia
Madeleine's family video from Spanish class. She even included Auntie Shannon and Clara! But the BEST part is how accurately she captured Ethan's hair.
Take a look:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dXEgkOlA6T1zepyMnJZPM2dWEVcM3kbI/view?usp=sharing
(or click the link below)
MOVIE
Looks just like us, right?
Take a look:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dXEgkOlA6T1zepyMnJZPM2dWEVcM3kbI/view?usp=sharing
(or click the link below)
MOVIE
Looks just like us, right?
Monday, May 7, 2018
Potty Song
Ah, my children, so creative in their poetic endeavors...
Scene: the Rowes are around the dinner table. Madeleine finishes her dinner and goes to the kitchen to get herself some dessert. Julia finishes her dessert, pushes her chair back from the table, and exits the room, singing as she goes.
JULIA: (to the tune of "I'm a Nut") Gotta poop (click click) Gotta poop (click click)...
MADELEINE: (picking up on Julia's song as she scoops herself ice cream) First I felt a little weird, then I started stinkin' up the place, gotta poop (click click) gotta poop (click click) gotta poop, gotta poop, gotta poop (click click)
What can I say? They're clearly geniuses.
Scene: the Rowes are around the dinner table. Madeleine finishes her dinner and goes to the kitchen to get herself some dessert. Julia finishes her dessert, pushes her chair back from the table, and exits the room, singing as she goes.
JULIA: (to the tune of "I'm a Nut") Gotta poop (click click) Gotta poop (click click)...
MADELEINE: (picking up on Julia's song as she scoops herself ice cream) First I felt a little weird, then I started stinkin' up the place, gotta poop (click click) gotta poop (click click) gotta poop, gotta poop, gotta poop (click click)
What can I say? They're clearly geniuses.
Sunday, May 6, 2018
Road Race Day
This morning, the girls and I took part in their elementary school's first road race! I ran the 5K race, coming in 3rd overall, which garnered approval from Madeleine. 3rd out of 69 runners was clearly a success in her eyes, unlike the 136 out of 1375 that I placed two years ago in the best half marathon time of my life. (I was in a "really losing place" and "looked so slow," according to Madeleine, at the time.)
Madeleine and Julia geared up to run the 1 Mile Fun Run:
They have competed in one mile runs on several other occasions, and have been pretty lax about it. However, today, their competitive spirit was fierce!
JULIA: I wanna WIN!
ME: Uh...I don't think you're going to win...
I know, I'm such a supportive and motivating mother.
Madeleine even had her hands down at the start line, leg behind her, as if she were on the track about to begin a sprint. I gently informed her that one does not need to start in that position for a distance race, so she stood up, which reduced the chances of her getting trampled, thank goodness.
Despite my misgivings about the kids winning, they went on to kick some serious butt. Julia was, indeed, the first female finisher, and was, like her mother, 3rd overall. Madeleine came in 6th overall. Julia's time was a 7:22, and Madeleine's an 8:07. The girls had both asked me to run the mile along with them, even though I'd already done the 5K. They were both nervous that they wouldn't know which way to go and wanted me there as a guide. So I ran it as a warm down and was completely unnecessary, as the girls took off way ahead of me and never looked back. This was serious business and they were not going to let their mom's slow pace hold them up. Madeleine even had her best friend call out, "Madeleine, wait up!" at one point, to which Madeleine cold-heartedly responded, "I can't! It's a RACE!"
The girls were thrilled after their run, and the whole experience was a positive one all around. The *only* qualms Madeleine had were about the ending raffle, because, convinced that the randomized number generator was somehow biased, she exclaimed, "It's not fair! They're picking too many BOYS!" Seriously, guys, let's make sure the random number generator picks bib numbers for an equal amount of boys AND girls, got it??
Not yet done for the day, the girls have headed off to swim team practice, so here's hoping they'll be nice and tired and fall asleep with no big to-do this evening!
Madeleine and Julia geared up to run the 1 Mile Fun Run:
They have competed in one mile runs on several other occasions, and have been pretty lax about it. However, today, their competitive spirit was fierce!
JULIA: I wanna WIN!
ME: Uh...I don't think you're going to win...
I know, I'm such a supportive and motivating mother.
Madeleine even had her hands down at the start line, leg behind her, as if she were on the track about to begin a sprint. I gently informed her that one does not need to start in that position for a distance race, so she stood up, which reduced the chances of her getting trampled, thank goodness.
Despite my misgivings about the kids winning, they went on to kick some serious butt. Julia was, indeed, the first female finisher, and was, like her mother, 3rd overall. Madeleine came in 6th overall. Julia's time was a 7:22, and Madeleine's an 8:07. The girls had both asked me to run the mile along with them, even though I'd already done the 5K. They were both nervous that they wouldn't know which way to go and wanted me there as a guide. So I ran it as a warm down and was completely unnecessary, as the girls took off way ahead of me and never looked back. This was serious business and they were not going to let their mom's slow pace hold them up. Madeleine even had her best friend call out, "Madeleine, wait up!" at one point, to which Madeleine cold-heartedly responded, "I can't! It's a RACE!"
Madeleine racing to the finish line
Julia's finish
The girls were thrilled after their run, and the whole experience was a positive one all around. The *only* qualms Madeleine had were about the ending raffle, because, convinced that the randomized number generator was somehow biased, she exclaimed, "It's not fair! They're picking too many BOYS!" Seriously, guys, let's make sure the random number generator picks bib numbers for an equal amount of boys AND girls, got it??
Not yet done for the day, the girls have headed off to swim team practice, so here's hoping they'll be nice and tired and fall asleep with no big to-do this evening!
Thursday, May 3, 2018
Madeleine the Activist
I daresay Madeleine is quite the young liberal feminist. Here are a few examples of her current activism:
1:
ME: (going into Madeleine's bedroom) Good-night, sweetheart.
MADELEINE: (holding out her folded hands towards me to show me she's praying)
ME: (Waiting for at least ten minutes while Madeleine continues to pray.)
MADELEINE: (finished) Good-night, Mommy.
ME: That was a really long prayer! What were you praying for?
MADELEINE: It's always the same. It's SEVERAL prayers. First I start with the prayer you taught me when I was little, then I do a prayer to keep everyone I love safe, THEN I pray for Donald Trump to get impeached, and then I pray for God to send Jesus back to Earth to stop global warming.
ME: Oh, wow! You know, instead of praying for Trump to get impeached, you could also pray for God to give Donald Trump a change of heart so he'll do good for our country.
MADELEINE: Nah, I just want him impeached.
ME: Oh, okay.
2:
This morning
MADELEINE: Oh my God, oh my God, OHMYGOD! (running off towards her room) Oh, Phew, phew, phew, PHEW! (scampering back to the breakfast table.)
ME: (alarmed) What's the matter?
MADELEINE: I thought for a second that I forgot to turn my bedroom light off!
Crisis averted! We are going GREEN around here!
3:
MADELEINE: There's a spider! A spider! A spppiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeer!
ME: Just leave it, honey.
MADELEINE: No, we HAVE to rescue it! We have to return it to its home out in nature!
ME: Just leave it, it's fine.
MADELEINE: No, we can NOT leave it! I need a cup! (running upstairs and, to my dismay, grabbing one of my stemless wine glasses and running back downstairs)
A MINUTE LATER
MADELEINE: Moooommmy! I need yoooooou! I can't get the cup to flip over without losing the spiiiiiiiider!
ME: Just leave the spider be.
MADELEINE: No! Mommy! He needs OXYGEN!
So I interrupted the activity I was doing to go rescue the spider who needed oxygen and return him to his natural environmental habitat.
Madeleine Rowe, changing the world, one spider at a time!
1:
ME: (going into Madeleine's bedroom) Good-night, sweetheart.
MADELEINE: (holding out her folded hands towards me to show me she's praying)
ME: (Waiting for at least ten minutes while Madeleine continues to pray.)
MADELEINE: (finished) Good-night, Mommy.
ME: That was a really long prayer! What were you praying for?
MADELEINE: It's always the same. It's SEVERAL prayers. First I start with the prayer you taught me when I was little, then I do a prayer to keep everyone I love safe, THEN I pray for Donald Trump to get impeached, and then I pray for God to send Jesus back to Earth to stop global warming.
ME: Oh, wow! You know, instead of praying for Trump to get impeached, you could also pray for God to give Donald Trump a change of heart so he'll do good for our country.
MADELEINE: Nah, I just want him impeached.
ME: Oh, okay.
2:
This morning
MADELEINE: Oh my God, oh my God, OHMYGOD! (running off towards her room) Oh, Phew, phew, phew, PHEW! (scampering back to the breakfast table.)
ME: (alarmed) What's the matter?
MADELEINE: I thought for a second that I forgot to turn my bedroom light off!
Crisis averted! We are going GREEN around here!
3:
MADELEINE: There's a spider! A spider! A spppiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeer!
ME: Just leave it, honey.
MADELEINE: No, we HAVE to rescue it! We have to return it to its home out in nature!
ME: Just leave it, it's fine.
MADELEINE: No, we can NOT leave it! I need a cup! (running upstairs and, to my dismay, grabbing one of my stemless wine glasses and running back downstairs)
A MINUTE LATER
MADELEINE: Moooommmy! I need yoooooou! I can't get the cup to flip over without losing the spiiiiiiiider!
ME: Just leave the spider be.
MADELEINE: No! Mommy! He needs OXYGEN!
So I interrupted the activity I was doing to go rescue the spider who needed oxygen and return him to his natural environmental habitat.
Madeleine Rowe, changing the world, one spider at a time!
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