Happy New Year Series

Madeleine decided to create a new series of books.

MADELEINE: I'm gonna make a "Happy New Year" series!  I'm gonna start it RIGHT NOW!

I found her cover page on the dining room floor.  Umm...

Happy New Year!
To the blaks!

By
Madeleine Rowe


Happy New Year to the what?  It can't be what I'm a little bit afraid it might be.


ME: So, Madeleine, what's your "Happy New Year" book called?
MADELEINE: "Happy New Year to the blacks!"
ME: (stomach sinking) The Blacks?  Is that the last name of the family?
MADELEINE: Noooo!  Mommy!  YOU know.
ME: (with utter dread) No, I don't know.  (but I'm afraid I do.)
JULIA: She's writing a book about a girl who's trying to stop SLAVERY.
MADELEINE: Yeah!  And the next book is gonna be called "Happy New Year to the whites!"
ME: Um...
MADELEINE: And in the NEXT one, some of the black people are using WHITE PEOPLE as slaves.  And one of the main characters, one of the White-Rescue-Blacks, is-
JULIA: The WHAT, Madeleine??
MADELEINE: Julia.  The "White-Rescue-Blacks."  That's what they're called. Didn't you HEAR me tell you that in the car??

Oh my God.  I can't even.  Only Madeleine can come up with a noble idea like ending slavery but manage to make everything come out just sounding SO TOTALLY WRONG.