Head Meets Nose

Somehow, after her bedtime story last night, Madeleine managed to whip her giant head around with such force that it smacked me in the bridge of my nose and made a cracking sound. 

As I was literally howling in pain, Madeleine showed no remorse, instead patiently waiting for me to get over my hyperbolic drama and give her the customary bedtime snuggles.

ME: (sternly) Madeleine.  You need to be careful with the way you move your body.
MADELEINE: But why?
ME: Because.  You hit your head into my nose, and it REALLY hurt.  It hurts so much it feels like my nose is broken.
MADELEINE: Let me see.  (sitting up and studiously examining my face.)  Well, Mama.  It looks fine.

There has seriously never been a child as compassionate as this one.

ME: Honey, you can't necessarily see the damage from the outside.  You need to be more careful with your body.  You could have broken my nose.
MADELEINE: Well Mama, you could just go to the HOSPITAL and have the doctors fix it.
ME: Yeah, well, sometimes a broken nose makes your bones crooked, and it costs a lot of money to get surgery to fix things like that.
MADELEINE: Well Mama, if you don't have the money, you could just ask JULIA to give you some.

Yeah, because Julia's $38 dollars that she keeps in a Ziploc bag in her room are going to make or break us, financially speaking.

ME: Honey, surgery costs thousands of dollars. Julia doesn't have that much money.
MADELEINE: Well Mama.  Maybe I could just slide down a RAINBOW, because at the end of the rainbow there's a big pot of MONEY, so I could just slide down a rainbow and then put LOTS and LOTS of money into a bag and-

At this point I cut her off.  I mean, seriously, all she really had to do was say "I'm sorry that I recklessly smashed my gargantuan head into your nose," but instead she's going to feed me some BS malarkey about sliding down a rainbow.  SHEESH. What's a mama gotta do to get a little respect?!?