Madeleine's World View

Some of the ways in which Madeleine has recently demonstrated that she truly understands the ways of the world:

#1

ME: I'm going to go check the mail, Madeleine.
MADELEINE: Wait, MAMA!  Can *I* get the mail??  But Mama.  You have to come with me.  Because there's SPIDERS down there.  And...and...there's a dusty kind of spider web down there called DUST webs.
ME: Those are called cobwebs honey.  They have no spiders in them.  They're just made out of dust.
MADELEINE: (pointing) Look, Mama?  See?  There's the DUST web.
ME: It's called a cobweb.
MADELEINE: Uh, no Mama, it's DUST web.


#2

Upon receiving a package in the mail from Yiayia containing a coloring book of Biblical pictures.

ME: Here's what the letter says: "Dear Madeleine, these are pictures of some of the people who came before Jesus-"
MADELEINE: Mama?  And did YIAYIA come before Jesus?

My kids and their stellar understanding of history!  Julia believes the Huns attacked China in the 1600's, while Madeleine assumes that Yiayia has been around since the B.C.E.  That's obviously how Yiayia knew about these people in the coloring book.  They're all her old buddies from back in the day.


#3

After my race today

ME: So Madeleine, what did you think when you saw me running?
MADELEINE: GOOD!
ME: But Mama.  I saw you, and then...you DISAPPEARED.
ME: I disappeared?  Did I vanish into thin air?
MADELEINE: No.  Mama.  I saw you, like, (climbing out of her chair and going to stand in the middle of the dining room) right HERE, and then...I didn't see you anymore.
ME: Oh, like you lost sight of me?
MADELEINE: Well Mama.  It was like you just FLEW up HIGH into the air, and then you landed WAY far away from where I could see you.  It's like you flew up to HEAVEN, and you went OUTSIDE OF THE EARTH, and then...you landed in South Carolina.


#4

Talking about people with differences and disabilities

ME: People come in all shapes, and sizes, and colors, and abilities.
MADELEINE: (interrupting me) Wait.  MAMA.  I've never heard of a WHITE person before.  Have you?

Uh, well, Madeleine, in fact I have.

ME: Well, it's true, people don't have skin that's really white, but people can have white hair.
MADELEINE: Well I only saw, like GRANDMOTHERS with white hair.
ME: There's a condition called "albino" and people born with it have white hair and very pale skin.
MADELEINE: Well Mama.  What about GREEN hair?
ME: You can dye hair green, but it doesn't grow green.  But people can have green eyes.
MADELEINE: But what about BLUE hair?

Apparently we were going to go through every single color on the spectrum thanks to my comment about people coming in all colors being taken totally literally.


And finally:

#5

To Caitlyn, on the day that I chaperoned Julia's field trip and Madeleine spent the day in Boston.

AUNTIE CAITLYN: So Madeleine, where is Julia going for her field trip?
MADELEINE: Uh...to her school.

That's right!  We took a wild and exciting field trip to Julia's school.  In fact, the only difference between a field trip and a regular school day is having Mommy for a chaperone!  Despite the numerous times I had talked with Madeleine about how I would be at the zoo and Madeleine would spend the day with Auntie Caitlyn, the information seems to have failed to process.  Especially since Friday night this happened:

ME: (to Ethan) So Daddy, Julia and I had a great time at the zoo today!
MADELEINE: The zoo?  You went to the zoo?!?
ME: Yes.  Remember?  For Julia's field trip.
MADELEINE: (face crumpling) But why didn't IIIIIIIIII get to goooooooo?

That's Madeleine.  Always totally with the program.