Adventures in Being Madeleine

Madeleine is SUCH a smart kid, but she definitely lives on another planet sometimes.  Yesterday was especially full of Madeleine-isms.

1.) Sharing some embarrassing information without blinking an eye

Madeleine had a friend over yesterday who had never been to our house.  During Madeleine's grand tour, she decided to over-share when showing her friend the marital bedroom.

MADELEINE: And this is my mom and dad's room.  Actually, I should say it's JUST my mom's room, because she kicked my dad out and he sleeps on the couch.

Erm.  Yeah, that's technically true.  But Madeleine failed to include the parts about how I'm a lifelong terrible sleeper who can't block out even the tiniest bit of background noise, so when Ethan is snoring, and I'm waking HIM up all night tossing and turning because I can't tune out the snoring, it gives us both a better night sleep if he just goes on the couch. 


2.) Somehow missing something totally obvious

When Madeleine's friend's mom came to pick her daughter up, Madeleine and her friend were outside in the backyard.  I went out back to tell them the mom was here, and Madeleine exclaimed, "Awww!  I don't want you to go!" to her friend as I led her inside.  For some reason, Madeleine decided to stay outside rather than come in to formally say good-bye to her friend.

Fifteen minutes later, Madeleine came inside to find me.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  Where's Maeve?
ME: She went home, honey.  Remember?
MADELEINE: (looking crest-fallen) She did??
ME: Honey.  What part about me saying her mom was here and you saying you didn't want her to go didn't you understand??



3.) Doing something this dumb

Last night, after Ethan and I got home from a rehearsal, Auntie Shannon told us Madeleine was upset because she was reading about diseases that humans can get from dogs.  I went into Madeleine's bedroom to give her a snuggle.

ME: What's making you worry about dog diseases?
MADELEINE: Well, I said I was thirsty, and Auntie Shannon told me to drink Clara's water.
ME: Wait.  You drank from the dog bowl?
MADELEINE: (sheepishly) Mmm-hmm.
ME: Honey.  Please don't do dopey things like that again.
MADELEINE: BWAAAAAAA! (bursting into hysterical tears) But Shannon TOOOOOLD me toooooo!*
ME: Okay, honey, you don't need to cry, you just need to use your brain in the future.  If you're thinking of doing something you think I would say is not a good idea, then DON'T DO IT.
MADELEINE: (continuing to sob) I don't wanna DIIIIIIEEE!
ME: You're not going to die from drinking from the dog bowl.  Just don't do things like that from now on.
MADELEINE: (inconsolable)



*After conversing with Auntie Shannon, I found out this is what really happened.

MADELEINE: You love Clara more than me.  I'm just gonna turn into a DOG so you'll love me too.
(crawling on all fours over to Clara's food and water bowl)
AUNTIE SHANNON: So you're gonna drink out of a dog bowl now?
MADELEINE: (doing it.)