The Children Entertain Themselves

While Julia is in her bedroom singing Christmas carols, Madeleine is entertaining her own self.  She just walked into the living room, talking to herself, carrying Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, two snow globes, and a bottle of blue dye that came from her American Girl Science workshop last winter.  She plopped herself down on the couch and began paging through the Harry Potter book.

ME: What are you looking for, honey?
MADELEINE: Oh.  I'm just playin' a game.
ME: Oh.  Okay.

Several minutes later...

ME: (going over to give Madeleine a kiss)
MADELEINE: I'm playing, like, a FREINDSHIP game.
ME: Oh, that sounds fun.
MADELEINE: I'm, like, looking through my book to see how my friends are doing. I make it all, like, they did TERRIBLE, to make it more exciting.
ME: Oh, no, they're doing terribly?
MADELEINE: I make it, like, they're in DANGER.  Isn't that exciting?  I love making danger in games.

Yes, I've noticed.  Her artwork alone speaks volumes about her love of making danger in her imaginary world.


Now she is sitting, mostly in silence, holding her bottle of blue dye, only to periodically exclaim things likes: "Symmetrica Ementia!" and then make action noises like this: "Chooo!  Shooo!  Chooo!" and wave the bottle around at an imaginary foe. 

You know what?  Instead of trying to explain this action-packed extravaganza, I'mma just video record it:




Meanwhile, Julia has moved on from Christmas carols and is now singing patriotic tunes like "America the Beautiful" in her bedroom. 

MADELEINE: (striking out at her foe) All the times of darkness way, make them all go away, and make them all friendship and friends.  ALL THE TIMES OF DARKNESS, GO AWAAAAAY!
JULIA: (from her room) Hoooot crooooss buuuuuns, hooooot crooooos buuuuns...

My kids aren't weird.

A New Pseudonym

Well, apparently Madeleine has gotten too famous as an author and has decided to publish under a pen name.

Betty the Birthday Fairy
by October Winter


I know that "October Winter" is a TOTALLY legit, not-made-up sounding name at all, but I would recognize Madeleine's artistic hand anywhere.  You're not fooling me, October.  Nuh-uh.

Hearts

While Ethan was off singing at church choir this morning, Madeleine decided to come up with an alternative way to play a four-person Hearts game:

Jesus, Saoirse, and Puff-Puff gathered around the table to play with Madeleine.  Because it was their first time ever playing Hearts, Madeleine wrote out some instructions for them: 

"Whoever has the hihist card of the riht sout suit take's thow's card's and make's a pile with them near them.  If you don't have the riht suit, then you pick a difrint card to sh  To shoot the moon you have to get all the pount's.  Otherwise youd just get a lot of pount's."

I think that all made perfect sense to Jesus, Saiorse and Puff-Puff, because the game began, with Madeleine playing each card for each inanimate object.  I imagine that was pretty tedious, which explains why the score card currently reads:

Searsha:
Puffpuff:
Jeasy:


Luckily, Daddy is now home from singing, so a 4-person game with actual humans has taken over the stuffed animal posse.

Madeleine's Vote

I asked Madeleine who she would vote for if she were allowed to.

MADELEINE: Hillary.  Because I think she is good and Mommy and Daddy are going to vote for her. 
ME: And what do you think of Donald Trump?
MADELEINE: I think...I don't really like him, because he's going to build a...um...a...um...a...um...between...um...between Mexico and the United States.  A wall. 
ME: And why don't you like that idea?
MADELEINE: Because...I don't...well...because, um...THEN THEY HAVE TO CLIMB THE WALL!
ME: And why is it not good to climb the wall?
MADELEINE: They could fall off and kill themselves.
ME: Who would climb it?  The Mexicans or the Americans?
MADELEINE: The Americans!
ME: Is there anything else you don't like about Trump?
MADELEINE: Then they'll HAVE...he'll MAKE them...the Mexicans to pay their charges to not have to climb a wall but to...um...um...to um, um, um...to NOT climb the wall.  And that's REALLY MEAN!
ME: And what could Hillary Clinton do to make this country better?
MADELEINE: STOP global warming!
ME: Yeah?  How could she do that?
MADELEINE: By asking the builders if they could make covered wagons!  It would stop pollution by less people using cars.
ME: Is there anything else she should do for this country?
MADELEINE: Yeah...stop the war, maybe?
ME: And how should she do that?  What would you do to stop a war?
MADELEINE: If I were the President?  I would call a meeting with everyone that does the war, and ask...um...say: "There shouldn't be a thousand people being killed from the war, so I think, as the President, we should STOP the war."

Has this kid got a total understanding of the way this election, and politics in general, works or what?  Madeleine for President, 2046!

Adeleine the A Fairy

Madeleine has progressed beyond the cover of her latest book, "Adeleine the A Fairy."  The first chapter is in the works, and for the first time ever, a Rainbow Magic Fairy book appears to take place through the eyes of the fairies, rather than the eyes of their heroic human friends, Kirsty and Rachel.

Chapter 1. To sick.

"Adeleine.  Adeleine!  Wake up!'" said Shannon the Ocean fairy.  "Huh.  Waht?" I said just waking up.  "You need to do your chors," Shannon anserd.  I cofd.  Then I sneezd.  "I don't no Shannon.  I feel sick."  "Oh you por thing!  You miht be to sick," said Shannon.  And to sick I was.  We found that out after we took my tempeter."

UH-OH.  What happens in Fairy Land when a fairy is to sick to complete her chors?  Where are Kirsty and Rachel when we need them?  What will happen to all the letter As in the world if Adeleine has a tempeter and can't fulfill her duties??  Will she become "_deleine" the nothing firy?  Will Shannon become "Shnnon the Ocen Firy?"  Yikes.  I sure hope her tempeter goes down and she is back to work in the important world of the letter A soon!

This or That?

Out of nowhere, as Madeleine was eating her dessert, she decided to pose an existential question:

MADELEINE: Mommy, which one do you like?  Pens or no pens?
ME: Uh...pens...?
MADELEINE: Pens or pencils?
ME: Uh...pens...?
MADELEINE: (looking disappointed) Pencils, I guess.
ME: Okay.
MADELEINE: Julia, ice cream, or YOU?  You, I guess.
JULIA: Me.
MADELEINE: I knew it.
JULIA: Madeleine, ice cream or s'mores?
MADELEINE: Both.  Okay, Mommy, now you do one!
ME: Umm...pumpkin pie or chocolate tofu pie?
MADELEINE AND JULIA: Chocolate tofu pie!!!

Sigh.  They both emphatically chose the ONLY kind of pie I don't make but Ethan does.

JULIA: Mommy.  Pumpkin pie or pumpkin BUTTER?
ME: Pumpkin pie.
MADELEINE: Mommy: pumpkin pie or pumpkin pie?
ME: Uh, pumpkin pie.
MADELEINE: Mommy.  Which one do you like better?  Your mouth, or your MOUTH?
ME: What??
MADELEINE: Okay, your mouth, or pumpkin pie?  Let me guess. Pumpkin pie.
ME: Well, I couldn't really live without my mouth, so I guess I'd have to choose that.

And now it's starting to get raucous.

JULIA: Madeleine, your mouth or your BUM?
MADELEINE: My bum!
JULIA: Me too. Because...it would be better not to TALK, than not to be able to sit, or go to the bathroom...
MADELEINE: (delighted) Or TOOT!

And now they are choosing between toots and burps.  Madeleine chooses toots, and Julia chooses burps, because "they don't smell as bad."  I think it's time to shut this game down and get these kids to bed.  Ethan's on it.

ETHAN: Brush.  Your.  Teeth.  Brushing or your teeth.  Are you gonna choose to brush, or you gonna choose to give up your teeth?

Luckily, the girls chose to brush, so they not have to sacrifice their teeth, AND Ethan and I can get the bedtime routine rolling.  Or at least we hope.

Another Rainbow Magic Fairy book

Madeleine's interest in writing her own Rainbow Magic Fairy books continues.  She has apparently decided to move on from animal fairies and into the realm of letter-of-the-alphabet fairies.

Adeleine the A fairy!
speshel aditine



Adeleine looks PSYCHED about this book.  And about existence in general.  Also, apparently she goes to Hogwarts.  And shoots searing red lightning out of her fairy wand.  I mean, seeing as she's the "A" fairy, I'd expect her to be on more of a romp throughout Sesame Street in her quest for letters, rather than in a battle with Voldemort, but clearly the nuances of searching for the premiere of the alphabet will take her along a darker, more dangerous path. In a nutshell: this speshel aditine looks like it's gonna be a goooood one.