Elves And Badminton

Conversation while playing Badminton in the backyard:

MADELEINE: I wish ELVES were real.
ME: You do?  Why?
MADELEINE: Because then they could cure CORONAVIRUS.
ME: Why would elves cure coronavirus?
MADELEINE: Because.  They heal EVERYTHING.
ME: They do??
MADELEINE: Yeah.  In "Keeper of the Lost Cities" they heal everything.
ME: Oh, okay.
MADELEINE: Hey Mommy!  Wanna play "Keeper of the Lost Cities" and there's a convention where everybody learns that elves are REAL and they're curing CORONAVIRUS?
ME: Uh...sure...
MADELEINE: Okay.  I'll be the elves.  How about you just be yourself, and I'll be EVERYBODY else?
ME: Okay.
MADELEINE: So you're Courtney.
ME: Okay. I know.
MADELEINE: ...
ME: ...
MADELEINE: So, wanna play?
ME: I'm waiting for you to start.
MADELEINE: Okay. Hey! Look, there are elves over there!
ME: Elves are real?
MADELEINE: Well, you SEE them, don't you?
ME: How do I know they're real elves?  Maybe they're using magic to disguise their real forms.
MADELEINE: Well, elves are a lot like PEOPLE.
ME: They are?
MADELEINE: Well, they don't have, like, pimples and stuff.  Actually, I don't know if they have pimples or not.
ME: Couldn't elves cure their own pimples if they can cure everything?
MADELEINE: Oh. Yeah!  Uh, Mommy?  You're not really acting like yourself.
ME: I'm not?
MADELEINE: Well, you're not really TALKING like you usually do.
ME: Well, I've never been in a situation in real life where someone is telling me elves are real, so I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to talk.
MADELEINE: Well, just, like, act like YOURSELF.
ME: I am.
MADELEINE: No, you're talking, like, kind of DIFFERENT...that's not how you really talk.


Apparently I'm so bad at pretend play that I can't even convincingly play my own real self. FAIL.

Feeling Skippy

MADELEINE: Mommy?  You know how Julia gets, like, in a mood to GALLOP?
ME: Yup.
MADELEINE: Well, for some reason, whenever I get really...RAPPY...like, really...EMINEMMY or JAY-Z-Y, well, I get really SKIPPY.
ME: Oh, okay.  Well, I'm about to vacuum, so just be sure you don't skip into the vacuum.
MADELEINE: (brightly) Okay!

She is now skipping throughout the upstairs floor of the house, reciting Eminem lyrics to herself.

MADELEINE: (whilst skipping) That's why you see me walkin' round like nothin's BOTHERING me, even though half you people got a bleepin' PROBLEM with me!

The fact that Madeleine bleeps out the inappropriate words takes away a bit from her edge, but the parent in me is glad!

Personality Quiz

We Rowes all took a personality test for fun this evening, and while the results were pretty accurate, it was clear that Madeleine's results fit her nearly perfectly. 

Take a look:

The Campaigner personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike types in the Explorer Role group, Campaigners are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.
More than just sociable people-pleasers though, Campaigners, like all their Diplomat cousins, are shaped by their Intuitive (N) quality, allowing them to read between the lines with curiosity and energy. They tend to see life as a big, complex puzzle where everything is connected – but unlike Analyst personality types, who tend to see that puzzle as a series of systemic machinations, Campaigners see it through a prism of emotion, compassion and mysticism, and are always looking for a deeper meaning.
Many other types are likely to find these qualities irresistible, and if they’ve found a cause that sparks their imagination, Campaigners will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn’t always where independence-loving Campaigners want to be. Worse still if they find themselves beset by the administrative tasks and routine maintenance that can accompany a leadership position. Campaigners’ self-esteem is dependent on their ability to come up with original solutions, and they need to know that they have the freedom to be innovative – they can quickly lose patience or become dejected if they get trapped in a boring role. Luckily, Campaigners know how to relax, and they are perfectly capable of switching from a passionate, driven idealist in the workplace to that imaginative and enthusiastic free spirit on the dance floor, often with a suddenness that can surprise even their closest friends. Being in the mix also gives them a chance to connect emotionally with others, giving them cherished insight into what motivates their friends and colleagues. They believe that everyone should take the time to recognize and express their feelings, and their empathy and sociability make that a natural conversation topic. The Campaigner personality type needs to be careful, however – if they rely too much on their intuition, assume or anticipate too much about a friend’s motivations, they can misread the signals and frustrate plans that a more straightforward approach would have made simple. This kind of social stress is the bugbear that keeps harmony-focused Diplomats awake at night. Campaigners are very emotional and sensitive, and when they step on someone’s toes, they both feel it.  Campaigners will spend a lot of time exploring social relationships, feelings and ideas before they find something that really rings true. But when they finally do find their place in the world, their imagination, empathy and courage are likely to produce incredible results.

Strengths:

Curious – When it comes to new ideas, Campaigners aren’t interested in brooding – they want to go out and experience things, and don’t hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to do so. Campaigners are imaginative and open-minded, seeing all things as part of a big, mysterious puzzle called life.

Observant – Campaigners believe that there are no irrelevant actions, that every shift in sentiment, every move and every idea is part of something bigger. To satisfy their curiosity, Campaigners try to notice all of these things, and to never miss a moment.

Energetic and Enthusiastic – As they observe, forming new connections and ideas, Campaigners won’t hold their tongues – they’re excited about their findings, and share them with anyone who’ll listen. This infectious enthusiasm has the dual benefit of giving Campaigners a chance to make more social connections, and of giving them a new source of information and experience, as they fit their new friends’ opinions into their existing ideas.

Excellent Communicators – It’s a good thing that Campaigners have such strong people skills, or they’d never express these ideas. Campaigners enjoy both small talk and deep, meaningful conversations, which are just two sides of the same coin for them, and are adept at steering conversations towards their desired subjects in ways that feel completely natural and unforced.

Know How to Relax – It’s not all “nature of the cosmos” discussions with Campaigners – people with this personality type know that sometimes, nothing is as important as simply having fun and experiencing life’s joys. That Intuitive trait lets Campaigners know that it’s time to shake things up, and these wild bursts of enthusiastic energy can surprise even their closest friends.

Very Popular and Friendly – All this adaptability and spontaneity comes together to form a person who is approachable, interesting and exciting, with a cooperative and altruistic spirit and friendly, empathetic disposition. Campaigners get along with pretty much everyone, and their circles of friends stretch far and wide.

Weaknesses:

Poor Practical Skills – When it comes to conceiving ideas and starting projects, especially involving other people, Campaigners have exceptional talent. Unfortunately their skill with upkeep, administration, and follow-through on those projects struggles. Without more hands-on people to help push day-to-day things along, Campaigners’ ideas are likely to remain just that – ideas.

Find it Difficult to Focus – Campaigners are natural explorers of interpersonal connections and philosophy, but this backfires when what needs to be done is that TPS report sitting right in front of them. It’s hard for Campaigners to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts.

Overthink Things – Campaigners don’t take things at face value – they look for underlying motives in even the simplest things. It’s not uncommon for Campaigners to lose a bit of sleep asking themselves why someone did what they did, what it might mean, and what to do about it.

Get Stressed Easily – All this overthinking isn’t just for their own benefit – Campaigners, especially Turbulent ones, are very sensitive, and care deeply about others’ feelings. A consequence of their popularity is that others often look to them for guidance and help, which takes time, and it’s easy to see why Campaigners sometimes get overwhelmed, especially when they can’t say yes to every request.

Highly Emotional – While emotional expression is healthy and natural, with Campaigners even viewing it as a core part of their identity, it can come out strongly enough to cause problems for this personality type. Particularly when under stress, criticism or conflict, Campaigners can experience emotional bursts that are counter-productive at best.

Independent to a Fault – Campaigners loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules – they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. The challenge for Campaigners is that they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow.





Pretty spot-on, no?  I'd also like to point out, in terms of the weaknesses, that it took Madeleine FOREVER to complete her quiz, long after everyone else was done and waiting to share results, because she A) kept getting distracted by unrelated texts and icons on the page, and B) spent SO MUCH TIME deliberating over her answers, taking the most literal approach on earth to determine the degree to which she agreed or disagreed with each given statement.  So, yeah.  


If anyone is curious, Julia and I are both Advocates, and Ethan is a Mediator.  Who else is shocked that Julia and I are basically the same personality?

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Last Day of "School"

Well, as unbelievably unreal as "school" has been, it has come to a close for the year.  The girls each visited their respective schools to gather their long-left belongings, in garb that sadly looks completely commonplace by now:

Madeleine simply can't believe she is now a rising 5th grader.  She's a little worried about how she's gonna live up to the pressure.

MADELEINE: It's too bad that I did SUCH a great job at fourth grade, because...how can I ever TOP that as a 5th grader?!?

I have NO doubt that she will succeed. 

Julia did a pretty great job of being a 7th grader, as well.  In fact, who would have thought that the kid with the shy school persona would rock reciting a "Declamation" (a memorized monologue from a novel) to such a degree that she was not only chosen as the best in her class, but won overall in her cluster?  This required reciting twice: once to her class (on Zoom) and again to the entire cluster (on Zoom.)  For her excellence at recitiation and inflection and drama, Julia received this certificate:

BRAVA! 

I imagine that 8th and 5th grades will both be a big success for these kids!

Jumping On the Couch

I was trying to engage my nephew over What's App Video chat the other day, but he was just too into his tv show to pay me any mind.  I thought that maybe singing his favorite Auntie Court song, a variation of "Five Little Monkeys Jumpin' On the Bed" might catch his attention.

ME: (singing) One little Owen jumpin' on the couch, he fell off and bumped his pouch. Mama called the doctor and the doctor vouched, NO MORE OWENS JUMPING ON THE COUCH!

He didn't even turn and look in my direction once.

Madeleine was eager to come up with a solution to my boredom-inducing technique.

MADELEINE: (running into the room I was calling from) Mommy.  I have an idea.  To try and make the song a little more...INTERESTING, you can sing it in a MINOR tone!


What would I do without Madeleine.  She's always got the answers when I need them.

Synonyms

Deep thoughts by Madeleine this morning:

MADELEINE: I learned a LOT of new words today!  Like "amiable" and "affable."  And I learned that "intellectual" doesn't just mean intelligent, it also means REFLECTING on things.
ME: Right. Where'd you learn all these words?
MADELEINE: Thesaurus.com!
ME: Oh, cool.
MADELEINE: Like, I already KNEW that "intellectual" is a word, I just thought it ONLY meant "intelligent."
ME: Right.
MADELEINE: (thoughtful) Synonyms are WEIRD.  It's like, you already HAVE a word for something.  But...I like them!  Because they give VARIETY.
ME: And they allow you to say something without having to use the same word over and over.
MADELEINE: Yeah, like, if you need to say "I *have* to go get the dog that I *have* that I *have* to take care of."


Well, I wasn't really thinking of "have" as a word needing synonyms when I use it in a sentence, but...she's got the basic idea.

Dishwasher Surprise

Julia, while unloading the dishwasher, came across Ethan's grilling tongs.

JULIA: (in mild distress) Where do the scary alligator things go?

                      The scary alligator things.

The Usual

Today my totally normal, boring kids got to swim at my co-worker's pool again, and like the total normal boring kids they are they decided to wear festive swim caps. Madeleine in a Halloween cap, Julia in a Santa cap, just what one would expect in June:

And tonight Madeleine is keeping things just as weird. She has decided to do her bedtime reading aloud (for her invisible imaginary students to hear) with the lights off, in the pitch dark, fully burrowed under her covers, with only a tiny flashlight to see by.

Everything is pretty much as usual around here.

In Which The Kids Show Zero Flexibility

During this whole COVID-19 pandemic, the girls have been doing "remote learning," which basically means a watered-down version of online school.  Madeleine's school isn't even issuing report cards for this term, and Julia's school is simply assigning Complete or Incomplete for grades. 

Should be pretty easy to do the bare minimum and still pass their current grade, right?

Helpfully, my children are among the most rigid imaginable when it comes to routines and following rules.  And I say this as someone who works with 3-year-olds -- an age at which children tend to be almost obstinately attached to routines.

I am an overachiever myself, so I totally get my kids' drive to give the full 100%, despite the option to go less than full throttle.  However, I was always a little better at the art of fudging things than my kids are.

For example, when I was a senior in High School, our class rank was established after the first semester of our senior year.  When the second semester started in January, I was ranked 2nd in my graduating class, and nothing was going to change that.  Hence, I relaxed just a LITTLE in terms of my efforts at homework.  Such a relaxation was noted by some teachers, but I still didn't have anything lower than an A- on my report card.  My math teacher, in fact, commented "Capable of better work" next to my report card grade of a 92.  It was true.  I was doing the bare minimum in trig to get a grade in the A-minus to A range.

Not that I want my kids slacking, but I certainly think they could afford to slack or fudge data in certain areas.  Like, um, P.E??  Both kids are running 3-5 miles daily and often also doing dryland swim workouts.  So if they don't complete the exact P.E. assignment I think it's really okay.

Problem is, they think it's NOT okay.

Today I returned from a 10-mile run, moderately dehydrated, in need of fluids and stretching before taking a quick shower and hopping on a scheduled Zoom call with our financial lawyer.

MADELEINE: (wandering into the kitchen as I was filling up a glass with ice) Mommy?  I need a partner for something.
ME: Okay.  What is it?
MADELEINE: My P.E. exercise.
ME: Okay.  I really need to get hydrated right now.  Can you ask someone else?
MADELEINE: (tiptoeing to Julia's room, opening the door a crack, then closing it.)
ME: Is Julia free?
MADELEINE: She's on a thingy.
ME: On a Zoom?  What about Daddy?
MADELEINE: He's on a call.
ME: Okay. Well, I can't do it right now, but I can help you after I have water and stretch and shower.
MADELEINE: (starting to LOSE. HER. COOL.) But I *have* to do P.E. right NOW because I have a Zoom at 11 and if I don't do it RIGHT NOW then I WON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO DO IT AND-
ME: Go set it up and I'll do it with you.

Her P.E. exercise was badminton.  She plays badminton on her own for HOURS every day in the back yard.  Could she have just played badminton later instead of right then?  Or just "said" she played it, since she plays regularly anyway?  This is a no-grade semester, after all. 

Nope.  She couldn't.  We had to bat the birdie around while I stretched and missed most of my shots instead.

Then comes the other kid.  Julia already went for a morning run, as she does nearly every day.

JULIA: I don't FEEL like doing a workout, but I already said that for P.E. I would do a FULL-BODY workout.
ME: Can't you just use your run for that?
JULIA: No, because I already SAID I was gonna do a full-body DRYLAND workout.
ME: ???

I think it's okay to say you did a full-body workout -- even if you didn't! -- for this Complete/Incomplete PE grade.  It's not like she doesn't work out every single day anyway.

I'm so proud of them for keeping up their work ethic during this completely dystopian time that we're in.  But I do think they could - once in awhile - take their "capable of better work" 92 and be a lot less stressed out in an already VERY stressful time in life!

Updates

Okay, okay, okay.

For all two or so readers still out there, this is for you. 😂


A recap on things over the past few weeks:


ANXIETY/IRRATIONAL FEARS

Still there, manifesting in ever more creative ways.  For Julia, it tends to manifest as worst-case scenario ailments late at night. 

A few examples:

JULIA: (coming into my bedroom in the middle of the night) Mommy?  I had a dream that there was a dragonfly under my pajamas and it was beating its wings against my chest, and now I'm scared it means I was having a seizure.

Okay, Julia.  I know that having dreams about dragonflies are common indicators of seizures, as are imagined sensations of insect wings beating against one's chest.  But let's just CALM YOUR HORSES here.


OR:

JULIA: (coming into my bedroom in the middle of the night) Mommy?  Now my leg feels weird, so I'm worried I'm having a seizure.

OR:

JULIA: I had a pain in my stomach for a second, and now I'm worried I have appendicitis.


For Madeleine, the anxiety manifests in imaginary toxins all around our house.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  I need to take a shower, but I need to use the upstairs shower.
ME: Why can't you use the downstairs shower while Julia's in the upstairs one?
MADELEINE: Because there's MOLD in it.  It's POISONOUS.

OR

MADELEINE: Now I can't take a shower anywhere.
ME: Yes you can! There's not poisonous mold in the shower!
MADELEINE: Yes there is.
ME: Then shower up here.
MADELEINE: I can't. There's a dead spider in there.
ME: So get it out.
MADELEINE: No, I can't. The shower is POISONED.
ME: Honey, it's not a poisonous spider.
MADELEINE: Yes it is. It's POISONED.


OR

MADELEINE: I need a new water bottle.
ME: You have a million.
MADELEINE: No. I can't use them. They all have carbon monoxide in them.


As you can see, we're being extremely reasonable and not overreacting AT ALL around here.



MUSIC

We continue to enjoy our family music-making.  Here are just a few examples of what we've been up to lately:



and





SWIMMING

Well, the summer swim team is cancelled, and the girls have tried their best to be troopers about it.  I was so impressed with Julia for not having a hysterical melt-down that I complimented her, which led to this late-at-night bedroom interruption incident.

JULIA: (coming into my bedroom) Mommy? I know you said you're so proud of me for not crying about the Sharks team, but I feel like I might have to cry a little.

However, the girls remain resilient in continuing to run longer distances and performing swim dryland workouts from their own bedrooms.  At any given moment of any given day I am used to hearing loud rhythmic thumps coming from either bedroom, as they perform squat jumps, Burpees, or other such exercises.

The most exciting news of all was that one of my co-workers invited the girls to her in-ground pool to do a swim workout, and they were OUT OF THEIR MINDS with happiness.  After a good 45 minutes of swimming laps, Madeleine was thrilled to try out the diving board, and as you can see, she's not afraid to show her true colors even at someone else's house:




SCHOOL

Two weeks to go.  My kids hate remote learning so much.  The dismal news is that it may very well continue in the fall.  But hopefully we can have as carefree a summer as possible whilst staying home and staying all together as we have for the past three months.  Wish us luck over here in the Rowe household!