Pick Your Poison

Last night, we were playing a new game Julia got for Christmas, "Pick Your Poison."  In this game, players have to choose between two unappealing options, and those who picked the majority option get points.  For each round, a judge chooses the set of options and can answer clarifying questions about either option. 

When Madeleine was judge, one of the "poisons" was "Always answer honestly whenever someone asks how you're doing."

JULIA: So, do you only have to be honest if someone ASKS you?
MADELEINE: Like, you always have to answer honestly, so if you're at the doctor, and you're feeling really SHIT - (look of astonishment coming over her face) SICK.  You're feeling really SICK.  I did NOT mean to say that.

Madeleine, who makes a "mreeer!" sound of disapproval anytime someone on tv, in real life, or in a song utters a bad word, just accidentally swore.  Man, was she shell shocked.  

MADELEINE: Well, at least I didn't FINISH it!  I didn't say "ty!" at the end!
ME: Yeah, well in England and Australia they sometimes say "I feel a bit shit" though.
MADELEINE: (eyes widening, horrified with herself)

I mean, I guess the poison's powers worked and Madeleine inadvertently gave her honest answer about how she was feeling.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!  Madeleine woke everyone up at 6 am but we all asked for a little more sleep.  She gave us another 15 minutes but couldn't hold her excitement any longer.

MADELEINE: (bursting back into my bedroom) Okay, it's 6:15!  So Mommy.  Just to make sure I had the date right, I went into the living room, and I was like, WOAH!!  It's more presents than EVER this year!

I'm glad Madeleine thought to check if there were presents, because, after all, it's definitely possible that she was wrong about it being Christmas.  It's not like we all went to bed knowing it was Christmas Eve or anything.


Wishing all of you a wonderful Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and last week of 2019!

Christmas Eve Traditions

The girls and I are watching "Barbie: A Christmas Carol" together, as it has become our Christmas Eve tradition to watch multiple versions of the Dickens story.  In this movie, Eden Starling, a famous opera singer, begins to mistreat her staff due to her over-inflated ego, and learns her lesson after being visited by the Three Spirits.

MADELEINE: This is not even about Barbie.
JULIA: Who's DAR-DEE?

Yeah, I can see why she thought that's what Madeleine said, because, after all, we are watching "Dardee: A Christmas Carol."


After our movie, we went to the Christmas Eve service at church.  The priest gave a sermon on humility, love and kindness.

MADELEINE: (leaning over to whisper to me) Wait.  Humility?
ME: (nodding)
MADELEINE: (looking like she had questions)
ME: (whispering) Humility.
MADELEINE: (nodding uncertainly)

I suddenly got it.

ME: (whispering) Humility means being humble. "Humility" is different from "humiliation."
MADELEINE: Ohhhh.

When we got to the car, Madeleine's car door closed on her elbow so she whacked the door in anger.
ME: Humility, Madeleine.  Humility means you don't hit your door!
JULIA: (cracking up) I never thought that's what someone would say on Christmas Eve.


We're now ready to watch "Mickey: A Christmas Carol" before bed, which actually *is* about Mickey a lot more than "Barbie: A Christmas Carol" was about Dardee.

Merry Christmas Eve from Dourdney, Dudia and Dadeleine!

Pizza For Breakfast

MADELEINE: (after brushing her teeth for bed) Hey!  Mommy!  I just came up with something!

This is what she came up with.  I just don't even...I mean...what even...?!?  Is she a southern grandma? 




Like, this is what came into her head when she was about to go to bed? 

Examination of a Christmas Card

Hanging on our fridge, among the many cards sent from friends, family, and students, is a card from avid runner friends of ours.  They used a picture of their whole family - parents and two teenage sons - running a race, and Photoshopped their figures into the foreground of the recent record-breaking sub-two hour marathon finish by Eliud Kipchoge.  Kipchoge himself is seen in the background, with his record time displayed on the finish line.  A dog and a fish, pets of my friends, are Photoshopped into the sidelines of the picture.

JULIA: Wait, is 1:59, like, a good time for a marathon?
ME: It's a new record.  It was set under extremely controlled conditions, but no one has broken two hours in the marathon before.
JULIA: (gazing at the card) Is that guy in the background the one who ran it?
ME: Yup.  You can google him to find out more about it.
JULIA: (pointing at my friends and their kids) And did they all run it too?

No, honey, they did not actually finish AHEAD of Eliud Kipchoge at this extremely exclusive event in which ONLY ONE PERSON RAN.

JULIA: And there's a dog and a fish there?

Yeah, so apparently Julia has never heard of Photoshop.

The Wet Pants

Madeleine has been unwilling to bring her snow pants to school for some reason, and today it (kind of literally) but her in the butt.

MADELEINE: So, I was gonna go down the Slide, and people said, "careful, it's wet," and it WAS wet, but I thought it would be, like, the kind of wet that-
ME: Did you wind up with a totally wet butt?
MADELEINE: Yes!
ME: Did you go to the nurse to get a change of clothes?
MADELEINE: (as if the mere thought was atrocious) No!!
ME: The nurse has extra clothes for situations like this.
MADELEINE: Mommy.  That would be so EMBARRASSING to go into the nurse and be like, "I need new PANTS cause mine got wet."

So continuing to wear pants and underwear with a soaking wet circle on the butt is somehow LESS embarrassing?

MADELEINE: (cheerfully) Besides, they're dry now!

Not for long.  Shortly before we had to leave for swim, Madeleine went to take a drink from her water bottle and wound up dumping it all over her pants and the couch.

MADELEINE: (brightly) All day long I've been lookin' like I peed in ma pants!

And that part is NOT embarrassing?!?

Advent Calendar Fun

Julia and Madeleine received a Harry Potter Advent Calendar from two of their best friends (who are siblings themselves) as a joint birthday gift this year.  They have been LOVING the experience of receiving one Harry Potter Funko Pop figure each day; Julia gets the odd days, since her birthday is an odd date and Madeleine gets the evens. 

Some of the Funko Pop characters bring more excitement than others. 

MADELEINE: (opening a door) I got - (gasping) I'm so LUCKY!  I got GINNY!

or

ME: Julia, who did you get today?
JULIA: (with deflated apathy) Igor Karkaroff.

At any rate, the girls are enjoying their new figurines; in fact, Madeleine lines hers up on the dining room table every day and then silently pretend-plays with them.  Apparently she's too old to talk her characters out loud in front of us now, so she thinks the dialogue in her head while she picks up the characters and animatedly moves them around.

Here's the most Madeleine part of all in this Advent Calendar situation.  She got so inspired by her Advent Calendar that she made her OWN Advent Calendar for the last 10 days before Christmas.  I watched her cutting and taping pieces of green paper, under which she had inspirational words, written in cursive on a strip of printer paper.  I guess Funko Pops aren't enough of a gift; Madeleine needed double Advent Calendar surprises.

This morning:

MADELEINE: (running over to me) I got Mad-Eye Moody, and: (holding up a slip of paper) COURAGE!

Once again, folks.  Madeleine got SO INSPIRED BY HER ADVENT CALENDAR THAT SHE MADE HERSELF ANOTHER ADVENT CALENDAR.  That is Madeleine in a nutshell.

Grumpy Sunday Morning

Madeleine insists that she is NOT grumpy.

MADELEINE: (from her bedroom) Julia, why do you keep stealing my SUNDAY UNDERWEAR?
JULIA: What?  Huh?
MADELEINE: My SUNDAY UNDERWEAR are missing.  Someone STOLE them.
JULIA: (ignoring Madeleine's inanity)
MADELEINE: Why do people keep STEALING MY CLOTHES?
ME: (entering Madeleine's bedroom) Why are you angry, honey?
MADELEINE: I'm NOT.
ME: What's the problem?
MADELEINE: People keep taking my CLOTHES.
ME: Can I help you?
MADELEINE: I can't find my Sunday underwear.
ME: I'll take a look.
MADELEINE: No.  They're NOT there.
ME: Let me look.
MADELEINE: No, Mommy, don't.  They're not there.  You'll be WASTING your time.
ME: (browsing her underwear drawer and finding the Sunday underwear) Here you go.
MADELEINE: (glowering) How come you always find everything in TWO SECONDS and I *NEVER* find them and I look WAY, WAY harder than you??


Yup.  She's NOT grumpy.

Funko Pop Cousins

Madeleine has managed to combine all her current obsessions while playing with her Deet Funko Pop action figure.

MADELEINE: Mommy.  I'm making Deet have THREE human - or, maybe not so human - cousins.  So.  Eleven from "Stranger Things" is her cousin.  Sophie from "Keeper of the Lost Cities" is her cousin.  And Harry Potter is her cousin.
ME: So Gelfling and humans can be related?
MADELEINE: (as if it's obvious) Yeah!  Gelfling LOOK like humans.  Except they just have BIG EARS.

When Madeleine plays with her Deet figure, she likes to add other "Dark Crystal" characters, even though she only has one other action figure from the series (a Skekse called "The Hunter.")  So she improvises with what she's got on hand.  She uses a Hagrid Funko Pop figure for the part of the Gelfling Rian.  That kind of makes sense, since both Hagrid and Rian have dark hair.  Things get more creative from there, however.  I'm constantly trying to put away pencils, pens, or rolls of Scotch tape, only to be told: "No!  That's Brea!"  So, lucky for me, now do I not only have Funko Pop action figures cluttering up various surfaces of my house, but an assortment of pencils, clothespins, and what not lined up neatly next to the action figures.

At least now we'll get to add more inanimate objects to be Eleven, Sophie, and Harry.  The more the merrier, right??

"Wanted"

Julia texted Ethan and I from swim practice the other night, after she and Madeleine had gotten a ride to the Y.

JULIA: We're at swim.  There's a Wanted poster and I'm freaking out.
ETHAN: Wanted?  Like, for a criminal?

I was trying to figure out why the YMCA in our little suburb would have posted a Wanted sign, and especially why I hadn't seen other similar signs around town.  If there really was a dangerous criminal afoot, wouldn't one expect to find posters in more than the one location?

It turns out my little Einstein didn't bother to actually read the poster, nor even to look at it very carefully. 

The poster is a "mug shot" of the Y director.  The ID number she's holding is our town's zip code.  Underneath her picture it says:
"She has been on the run since learning that the C.R. YMCA is in second place in the Greater Boston YMCA Giving Tuesday Challenge."

On Instagram, the Y even posted a picture of the director "behind bars," saying they needed to raise $25 more in order to let her go free on bail. 

And this is the reason why Julia was freaking out at practice over the thought that a criminal was going to bust into the Y.  I raised a genius, folks.

An Amazing Paragraph

Madeleine was working on writing yet another novel yesterday when she was struck by her own talent.

MADELEINE: Mommy!  I am REALLY proud of this paragraph!

Here's the paragraph:

That is a legit good paragraph.  I have been impressed by Madeleine's writing ability in the past, and was beyond impressed this time.  I didn't even need to heap praise on Madeleine, however, because she was still heaping it on her own self.

MADELEINE: Mommy.  I'm OBSESSED with this paragraph.  Like: "careening?"  "OPEN air?"
ME: I know!
MADELEINE: I didn't even realize I *knew* some of those words!

I mean, I think she earned the right to brag about her own self with this one.  Her writing and plot ideas have come a long way since "Alecto!"