How to Speak Dolphin

Madeleine is reading a book called "How to Speak Dolphin" which, although it's a fifth-grade level book, has drawn some criticism from its third-grade reader.  A few nights ago Madeleine addressed her main complaint to me.

MADELEINE: Mommy?  There's something that I think the author, like, just FORGOT to explain, or FORGOT about in this book.
ME: What's that?
MADELEINE: So.  Zoe can TEXT and use a cell phone, but she's BLIND.  I think the author forgot that a blind person can't SEE a text.

Madeleine was quick to dismiss the author as a forgetful dimwit, but had she shown a little patience, she would have realized her questions were soon to be answered.  Tonight, Madeleine came scampering out of her room to update me on her book.

MADELEINE: Mommy.  They finally say how Zoe is able to text and use her phone.
ME: Oh yeah?  How?
MADELEINE: So, this ANNOYING VOICE reads every message she gets out loud.  And the buttons on her phone have: (raising her hands to make derisive air quotes) little BUMPS on them.  That's what Lily calls them.
ME: Oh, yeah, that's Braille.
MADELEINE: Yeah.  I know.  But I'm like, SERIOUSLY?!? Lily's in SIXTH-GRADE, and she doesn't know that these so-called BUMPS are Braille?!?

Sheesh.  I guess the intended fifth-grade audience for this book must be a bunch of easily fooled simpletons if they don't take issue with this whole Braille thing the way Madeleine does.  Good thing we've got SOMEBODY shedding light on all the scoff-worthy problems embodied in this award-winning book.