Different Personalities

While Ethan and I both tend to think that Julia looks just like her daddy and Madeleine looks more like me, we agree that the girls' personalities match the parent they do not look like.  Julia, like me, is constantly hyper aware of every detail of every one else's lives, picking up on background conversations and generally living in a constant state of heightened awareness/anxiety.  Madeleine, like her dad, tends to get super-focused on ideas going on within her own head, and only pays the minimum amount of attention to background conversations and distractions, enough attention to get by in life.  Therefore, Julia and I usually know (and micromanage) EVERYTHING about everyone else in the family, while Madeleine and Ethan can be spoken to about things without even recalling what was said to them.

This dichotomy was made very clear to me this past week, in several instances.  First of all, to back up a bit, I had a complete wreck of a day on Wednesday, when I wiped out while running, slamming my shoulder into the concrete sidewalk as I fell, THEN, a few hours later, smashing my car door into my face as I was in a rush to get in.  So for the past few days I have had shoulder pain and a bloody eye, making me feel awesome.  This morning, my shoulder was swelling more than it had in past days, so Ethan encouraged me to go into the local hospital to get X-rays.  At the same time that I was scheduling an appointment, Julia got invited to a friend's to play.  Madeleine was aware of both impending events, as evidenced by the following comments.

MADELEINE: Mommy!  If Julia gets to go to a friend's house, can *I* have a friend meet me at the playground to play?
ME: Maybe.  I'm going into the hospital, so you'll have to ask Daddy.
MADELEINE: I'm scared of you going to the hospital!  It's scary there!
ME: I'm not doing anything scary there, don't worry.  Bye, honey.  I'll miss you.
MADELEINE: I *might* miss you.  But I'm scared!


I guess she didn't stay scared for long, because when Auntie Shannon inquired about our whereabouts, Madeleine had sudden amnesia.

AUNTIE SHANNON: Madeleine, where's Mommy?
MADELEINE: Me no know.
AUNTIE SHANNON: Where's Julia?
MADELEINE: Me no know.
AUNTIE SHANNON: Are they out doing something together?
MADELEINE: Me no know.


In a similar situation, a week ago, Madeleine had a friend over to play.  I was working on music for the quartet I sing in, and Madeleine's friend asked if I took music lessons.  I told her that I was practicing for a singing group I'm in, and then I heard Madeleine carry on the conversation with her friend.

MADELEINE: She's practicing for her group, Vermilion.  (TRUE.)
FRIEND: Oh.
MADELEINE: And...the other group she sings with...I think is called the OPERA.

Yeah.  "The opera" was a gig Ethan and I sang back in June of 2017; we were part of the choral ensemble for the premiere of a new opera by an MIT composer.  Not one of the other two groups we have been singing with this past school year, but that's okay.

I mentioned this conversation to Ethan this evening, and Julia, ever-listening, piped in.

JULIA: Madeleine didn't know that your other singing group is Commonwealth Chorale?
ME: No, but of course YOU did.
JULIA: She thought it was the opera! (laughing, then beginning to sing, with proper melody and lyrics, music from the opera that she obviously learned just from hearing me practice SEVEN MONTHS AGO.)

At least one of my kids pays attention to my life.  And at least the other one pays so little attention that I don't have to worry about her picking up on stuff she's not supposed to hear about.  It's all about balance!