The Somnambulator

Last night, as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I suddenly heard footsteps in the hallway. Julia came bursting through my bedroom door and flicked on the lights, looked around in confusion, then turned the lights off and left, closing the door.  I hopped out of bed to see if she was okay.

ME: (coming out into the hallway) Julia.  What's up?
JULIA: (not answering, continuing to look around blindly)
ME: Julia.  Julia.  Are you okay?
JULIA: (groggily) Yeah.
ME: What did you come in for?  Do you need something?
JULIA: I was looking for the trash can.
ME: The trash can?  I don't have one in my room.
JULIA: (continuing to look around in confusion)
ME: What do you need the trash can for?
JULIA: To *pee* in.

With mild panic, I steered Julia into the bathroom, turned on the light, and pointed at the toilet.

ME: Here.  Sit down on the toilet.  That's where you pee.
JULIA: (standing and looking at me in confusion)
ME: The toilet, honey.  You pee on the toilet.  Here.  Get yourself on the toilet.
JULIA: (pulling down her pants and sitting on the toilet, letting out a flood of pee)
ME: There you go.  Honey, I think you're sleepwalking.
JULIA: No I'm NOT!
ME: You are, sweetie.  You said you were looking for the trash can to pee in.
JULIA: I'm awake.
ME: You're sleepwalking.  You wanted to pee in the trash can.
JULIA: (irritably) No, I meant the BIG trash can!
ME: What big trash can?  Why would you pee in a trash can?
JULIA: (blinking, looking startled, then focusing on me) I don't know.  (bursting into confused laughter.)
ME:  Yeah.  You were sleepwalking.  But it's okay, you're in the right place now.


Julia sleepwalks every so often, but man, that was a close one.  Albeit not as close as the time she dropped trou and hung her bare butt over our laundry basket, causing Ethan to leap out of bed and scoop her up and make a mad dash for the toilet.  I have mentioned before that all of her dreams seem to have something to do with swim team, but I'll now add that her sleepwalking incidents always seem to have something to do with trying to pee in a receptacle other than an actual toilet.

Crisis averted!