New Years Eve!

We Rowes had a great New Years Eve attending various productions and concerts throughout our town!  The final event we went to was a band that played Irish dance music, which was a big hit with the girls.

Happy New Year, from some very unlearned and unaware Irish dancers:

I Have No Words

So, Ethan and I are just sitting at the dining room table enjoying our brunch and coffee, when a buck naked Madeleine comes prancing into the room.

ME: Uh, there's a naked Madeleine in here.
MADELEINE: (enthusiastically) I just POOPED!
ME: Uh...great.  Did you wash your hands?
MADELEINE: Yup!
JULIA: Did you flush the toilet?
MADELEINE: Yup!
ETHAN: Did you wipe properly?
MADELEINE: Yup!
ME: So you just decided to come dance around in here naked?
MADELEINE: Yeh---oops!  I forgot!
ME: You forgot what?
MADELEINE: I forgot to wipe!
ME: You haven't wiped your bum at all??
MADELEINE: Nope.  I forgot!
ME: Madeleine.  GO AND WIPE YOUR BUM.  And then wash your hands.
MADELEINE: Okay!! (nakedly prancing away back to the bathroom)


O.M.G.  Thank goodness it's still 2015.  Otherwise I would say that 2016 is not off to a very promising start.

Smells

For a kid who sure can make her own share of stinky smells, Madeleine definitely can't handle any odors that are not to her liking.

After shovelling the wet, heavy snow in our driveway for over an hour, I came inside and stripped off my outerwear.  When I asked Madeleine for a hug, she came over to me and wrapped her arms around me, then recoiled.

MADELEINE: Uh, Mama, did you just go for a run?
ME: No.
MADELEINE: Then why do you SMELL like SWEAT?
ME: Well, think about it.  What was I just doing?
MADELEINE: Shoveling.
ME: Right. 
MADELEINE: Okay, well, Mama, can you take a shower?
ME: No, I already took a shower today.
MADELEINE: Uh, but Mama, even when I come a little near you I start smelling sweat.
ME: So you don't wanna hug me??  (pretend sad face)
MADELEINE: Uh, Julia??  Could you help Mama??  She needs some hugs!  (scampering off)


That's right.  She couldn't even deign to hug me because I smelled too sweaty.  That was a job she was going to delegate to Julia.  SHEESH.

Although Madeleine is critical of other peoples' smells, she is not immune to her own odor.  She had a crisis when we were in CT because she couldn't discern which underwear in her overnight bag were clean and which were dirty.  So she came to the obvious, logical conclusion.

MADELEINE: (with dramatic sadness) Mama.  I can't wear ANY underwear today.
ME: You can't?  Why not?
MADELEINE: Because!  I don't know which ones are CLEAN and which are DIRTY!
ME: Uh-
MADELEINE: I *tried* smelling them, but they ALL smell DISGUSTING!

Well then.  I guess going commando is the only forseeable option.  Right?  Glad she was able to reach such a drastic conclusion so easily.

Since my kids don't want to snuggle me and warm me up after my tough afternoon of shovelling, I guess I'll bundle up in a non-judgemental blanket and cuddle my own smelly SELF.

Crayons and Markers, Personified

Julia and Madeleine both love the book "The Day the Crayons Quit," and its sequel, "The Day the Crayons Came Home."  In fact, each girl enjoys these books so much that they BOTH came up with the idea to make a plagiarized sequel to the sequel as a Christmas gift for each other. 

Julia's book to Madeleine kept the main character, Duncan, from the real books:

The Day The Crayons Came to Duncan
Julia Rowe
"Merry Christmas Madeleine, for you with love who also loved these books." -J.R.


Madeleine took a slightly more liberal approach, both in her title and in her main character:

It's just us

"dear julia, you love me but kan you pleas tell your little sistr that she has to yous me love dork blue markr
p.s. im stil hear"

Sheesh.  That dork blue markr is being awfully demanding.  It's not enough to yoused by julia, but her little sistr has to use the dork blue as well??

"dear julia you no that im for chrismis so kood you pleas yous me for that more ofin love red markr"

YEAH.  Red markr is only for chrismis.  Doesn't matter if it's chrismis or not.  YOUS red markr MORE OFIN.  But only for chrismis.

"Hi julia i llik my job kus you love me so much and i llik you love bron markr"

Aww!  Bron markr is the best of them all!  He's just thankful for being loved.  No demands here.  That dork blue and that red markr are just SUPER high-maintenance whiners.

"Dear julia i love that i am so brit but there is one problem i am so brit that you kan bareli see me love yellow markr."

Well, yellow markr, that's kind of a legit complaint, seeing as I have trouble actually reading this page that's written in you.


That's the end of "It's just us."  No actual resolution to the markrs' problems, just the complaints.  But I guess since it's a gift for Julia and the letters are addressed to her, perhaps it's up to Julia herself to figure out how to make all those markrs happy.  Either that, or just stick with bron markr and screw all the rest of 'em.


At any rate, the girls were both delighted by the plagiarized sequels they received, so, although all may not be right in the crayon/marker world, all (for the moment) is right in the Rowe sisterhood.

Merry Christmas from the Rowe Household!

 Merry Christmas!

The girls thoroughly spoiled me today.  From this:

To Mommy love Madeleine a crismis presint that i no yll love


to the books and poems by Julia, I certainly feel the love. 


Among the gifts Julia made for me is this poem:

Peacful Sounds of Joy

Softly creeping down the hall
Somebody weeping in the wall
Peacful sounds of joy
The old man snoring,
it's almost morning,
peacful sounds of joy
Someone playing Hot Cross Buns,
Someone carrying a pumpkin of two tons
Someone singing softly and cradeling
her baby all peacful sounds of joy.
Merry Christmas!


I'm not sure I can think of a sound more peaceful and joyous than that of someone weeping in the wall. 


I also got this beautifully written book from Julia:

A Circle of Friends
By Julia Rowe

 For my mother, who never judges a person by how they look.  (Awww.)

"One little grape, who had a friend who was a watermellon that could do a backbend.  Who had a friend Rasberry who who was really fun, who had a friend Cherry, that got drie in the sun.  Who had a friend of fruit punch who never got mad, who had a friend blue, who was really glad."

"Who had a friend mint leaf who was the color of a lime, who had a friend apple who could make pie that was devine.  Who had a friend banana who liked ice-cream, who had a friend orange that was nice, not mean.  Who had a friend Cinamon who liked the rain!  Who had a friend licorice, who started it over again.  Which creates-"

"A circle of friends!  With all the friends that were made this day, all there troubles went away!"

About the Author
Julia Rowe has written many books in her life.  She finds this one the most touching.  (I will leave the rest out for the sake of the author's privacy, as Julia decided to give all the details of her life, from her birth date to address...)

.

Back page: "A Circle of Friends is a touching little book about how people can still be friends even if they look, act, or sound different.  You may find this along the way as you read about all the different foods (and one drink) friends.  Find out more about books by Julia Rowe."


How can Christmas be anything but merry with gifts - and daughters - like these??

Family Movie Time

Ethan took the afternoon off from work today, and took advantage of an opportunity to multi-task while riding his exercise bike and inviting the rest of us to Family Movie Time in our bedroom.

The girls chose the old-school, Boris Karloff-narrated version of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" as our family movie, and they settled happily on our bedroom floor with Christmas cookies.

Julia had chosen this movie, in particular, because Madeleine had watched it several times this holiday season, and always at a time during which Julia was doing something.  Julia was long overdue to get a chance to finally watch it, so, logically, she decided to bring all her Shopkins into the bedroom to distract her during the movie.

ETHAN: So Julia.  You were complaining that everytime Madeleine watched this, you missed it because you were doing something.  So you're gonna play with your Shopkins while it's on so that you are once again doing something during the movie?

Madeleine then decided she needed some toys of her own.

MADELEINE: Wait!  My Stuffies won't want to miss THIS!  (running off to her room and returning with Saoirse the Seal and Puff-Puff the dog.)

You need a lot of reinforcements for a 30-minute movie, apparently.

The movie began, and the kids piped up here and there with comments.

WHOS: (singing) Dabu doris, dabu dorus, welcome, welcome Christmas day.  Welcome Christmas, dabu dabu...
JULIA: I wonder what "dabu dabu" means?
MADELEINE: It's "dabu DORIS," Julia.

Because arguing over the made-up words in the Who song is worth it, right? 

BORIS KARLOFF: And the noise, oh the noise, oh the noise, noise, noise NOISE.
MADELEINE: We GET it.

BORIS KARLOFF: And they'd feast, and they'd feast, and they'd feast, feast, feast FEAST.
MADELEINE: We GET it.

BORIS KARLOFF: And they'd sing, and they'd sing, and they'd sing, sing, sing, SING.
ME: (imitating Madeleine's voice) We GET it.
MADELEINE: Yeah, you're right, we DO!

BORIS KARLOFF: The Grinch found the strength of ten grinches, plus two.
JULIA: So...twelve Grinches?


Near the end of the movie, Julia stubbed her toe and whimpered about it.  When the movie was over, I suggested we watch another short Christmas special.

ME: Do you girls wanna watch "Mickey: A Christmas Carol?"
JULIA: Well, my TOE still really hurts.
MADELEINE: And I *never* got to practice my Christmas song on the piano!
ME: (to Madeleine) What happened? 
JULIA: Well, I *stubbed* it on the bed.
ME: No, I know that, I was talking to Madeleine.

We then began a several minutes' agonized deliberation over whether to watch another movie.  Madeleine went off to play her song on the piano and jump-rope in the hallway right outside the bedroom door for awhile, but ultimately their addiction to screen time won over and we are now enjoying round 2 of Family Movie time.  And honestly, I can't think of any way I'd rather spend the day than lounging around doing Christmassy things with my favorite people!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Rowes Do the Boston Ballet

Today was an exciting one for the girls: they got to leave school early and head downtown to see Boston Ballet's production of "The Nutcracker!"

Madeleine was SO excited.  As we exited the school, she exclaimed in delight, "I can't BELIEVE we're getting to go Boston to see the NUTCRACKER!"

Julia was quick to shoot down Madeleine's enthusiasm.  "Going to Boston is not such a big DEAL, Madeleine.  It's not like we've never been there before."

Nothing could dampen Madeleine's spirit, however, and she was so full of energy on our train ride into Boston that she forgot how to act like a civilized human being.  She decided we should play "Twenty Questions" and then proceeded to give her answers to the questions at such a volume that I'm sure the entire trainload of people could hear her.  She also seemed to have forgotten how to sit in a seat normally, and instead chose to slump her body down with her legs up in the air, the skirt of her dress hiked up so her tights were on full display.  Sigh.  At least Julia managed to conduct herself like a socialized human being.

Ethan met us at the train stop and we all headed over to the Boston Opera house together for the performance.  As the ballet began, the girls began watching in awe, although Madeleine apparently thought we were watching the super-abbreviated version of the show.  As the first scene came to an end, only a few minutes into the performance, and the audience began clapping, Madeleine turned to me and whispered, "Mama, is it over??"

At the intermission, I bought the girls gingerbread cookies, and as we got into our seats, Madeleine got herself into her classic relaxation position.  For anyone who has ever watched her snuggled in a blanket on the couch, watching tv and eating a snack, this was the ballet-watching equivalent.  With my coat over her lap as a blanket, her face smeared with frosting from her cookie, and her Nutcracker crown,:

she settled in to watch the second half.

Julia, who inhales her food, was already completely done with her gingerbread cookie by the time the curtain rose.

Madeleine got a little antsy during the final few scenes, but luckily the "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy" got her attention back on track.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Is it almost over? Oh! I *love* this song!  (Loudly humming along to the music) Dun-dun dun dun dun dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun...
ME: Shhhh...
MADELEINE: (humming along at a slightly lower volume)

Can't take this kid anywhere.

When the ballet was over, we all walked over to Ethan's office so he could gather his things and head home for the day with us.  The girls desperately wanted to be the ones to open his office doors, so he gave them a word of advice.

ETHAN: Open the left-most door.  The one on the right doesn't work very well.
MADELEINE: Daddy, have you ever BEEN here before?
ME: Madeleine, this is Daddy's office.  He WORKS here.

That was proof enough to convince Madeleine to use the door on the left.

Julia was enthralled by Ethan's office (despite the fact that we have visited before.)  The foosball table, the bean bag chair, the balance board, and the two dogs who had come to work with their owner were paradise for her.

JULIA: I really LOVE Daddy's work!  Because they have all kinds of fun TOYS here!

The convenience store in the lobby of Ethan's office building put Julia over the edge.  She gazed through the window at the rack of candy inside.

JULIA: (in rapture) Wait.  You have your OWN PERSONAL CANDY ROOM?!?


Yup.  All they have to do is pay the cashier the required amount of money and they can get any candy they want.

During our train ride back home, Ethan entertained Madeleine by letting her use the voice command on his phone to look things up.

MADELEINE: Okay, Google, show me a comet!

As Madeleine and Ethan gazed at pictures of a comet, Madeleine thought to ask what would happen if a comet fell down onto a person.  Ethan gave an honest answer.  Which then led to the most sociopathic question anyone has asked Google.

MADELEINE: Okay, Google, show me a picture of a person live on fire.

Ethan snatched the phone away the moment the images loaded, and that was the end of that game.

We are all back home now, snug in our cozy pjs, enjoying our official start of the holiday break!