Questions, Questions

Last night, Madeleine apparently still had Harry Potter on the brain as we lay snuggling in her bed.  She had gone quiet, and I hopefully assumed she was well on her way to conking out, when she suddenly spoke up with an urgent question.

MADELEINE: Mama?  Is Harry Potter a teenager?
ME: Yes.  He is.
MADELEINE: Oh.  So, he can stay home by himself.  And...he can shop for groceries by himself.  Because he's a teenager.  But...he never shows his BREASTES.*

(For clarity, because this is of utmost importance, that would be pronounced "breast-ez.")

Apparently, Madeleine is not only unclear on which gender has a vagina and which has a penis, but she is also unaware that breastes are only for teenage GIRLS.


Although I'm not sure I can say the same of Julia, Madeleine is, at least, not ALL HARRY POTTER, ALL THE TIME.  She is mercifully still able to engross herself in her usual television shows, like Curious George.  One of the most recent "George" episodes that she watched was about paleontologists, and how they study things that are very, very old.  Which led Madeleine to a brilliant suggestion.

MADELEINE: Hey Mama!  They could study your GRANDFATHER!  Because...he was very, very old, and he lived a long, long time ago!
JULIA: (critically) Well, Madeleine, he's in HEAVEN, so how could the scientists STUDY him??

Speaking of studying things...

I had my yearly physical exam today at my primary care doctor's office, and because my baby-sitter fell through, I wound up bringing the girls along.  We were in a very small exam room with only one chair, so when they weren't both squishing their bums into the chair to share it, the girls were busy asking questions about things in the room, aspects of my exam, and what not.

At one point, as I was answering the doctor's questions about my general health, Madeleine asked me if she could go and look at the Diabetes poster hanging on the door.  Madeleine went and studied the poster for a few minutes, then felt compelled to interrupt my Q&A with the doctor.

MADELEINE: Mama?
ME: Shhh.  (returning my attention to the doctor)
MADELEINE: Mama?
ME: Shhhh.  I can't answer you right now.  (returning my attention to the doctor)
MADELEINE: (quietly and sweetly for the next several minutes while I answered the doctor's questions) Mama?Mama?Mama?Mama?Mama?Mama?Mama?

Finally, once the doctor's questions had been answered, I was able to respond to Madeleine.

ME: Yes?
MADELEINE: Mama, WHY are there so many things on that poster that I don't even KNOW what they ARE??

Because, honey.  It's a poster about diabetes with drawings of stomachs and intestines and all kinds of scientific things and it's NOT MEANT to be entertainment for kids.

At any rate, the most difficult part of the exam was the pap smear, during which I had the girls come stand beside my head because their chair was situated in basically the exact same place the doctor needed to stand (and also to avoid frightening them with the sight of what was going on.)  They obediently stood beside me, holding my hand, while asking a slew of questions the entire time the pap exam took place. 

"Mama?  Why are you laying down?"
"Mama?  What are THOSE things that your feet are on?"
"Mama?  Why do you have a GREEN pimple on your face?"
"Mama?  Why do you have a face with NO wrinkles?"
"Mama?  Why is your hair in a ponytail?"
"Mama?  Why don't you go to the Hogwart's School of Witchraft and Wizardry?"
"Mama?  What is the doctor DOING down there?"

And so forth.

FUN TIMES.

But at the end, the girls got lollipops, so in their eyes, it was a blast of a trip to the doctors!