Everybody got up early. Some of us were cranky-pants because we really should have slept longer.
Madeleine went pee on the potty as soon as she was up, and I helped wipe her, although she deemed my efforts insufficient.
MADELEINE: No! Mama! You need to wipe the BACK too!
ME: Oh. Okay, if you want me to I will.
MADELEINE: (whining) Mamaaaa! It's against the LAW to NOT wipe the back too.
The girls then had Life cereal and watched Sesame Street on the couch together. Julia decided she wanted more Life and poured her own bowl. Madeleine decided she wanted more Life and let me know by walking into the dining room, wherein I was attempting to relax and drink my coffee, and putting her empty bowl over her head. Except that the bowl wasn't totally empty, because it had all sorts of little cereal shreds in it, which consequently showered all over the dining room floor.
MADELEINE: (cheerfully) Uh, Mamaaa! You better vacuum the dining room floor, because there's Liiiiiiife all over it!
I decided to NOT vacuum the floor right then, because let's face it: why bother vacuuming at 7am? The floor is going to be covered in all sorts of crumbs, sand, and what not by evening anyway. Let's save ourself the extra vacuuming efforts if we can help it.
I told Madeleine to bring her bowl into the kitchen and I would refill it with more Life. She decided to walk to me while balancing the bowl on the top of her head, which meant she had to take one snail's paced tentative-step after another, pausing to catch the bowl every time it fell off her head. Or pausing to not catch it, as it clattered to the ground. FINALLY, the world's slowest kitchen-crossing came to an end and I was able to refill Madeleine's hat. I mean bowl.
Julia got tired of watching tv and decided to color, so she drew me this picture of a squirrel:
I have no idea why she felt like drawing a squirrel, but I'm very touched that she decided to draw it for ME. I accidentally left it on the couch and she reprimanded me about it later in the morning, saying accusingly, "Mom! Uh, did you FORGET about this SQUIRREL picture? You left it on the COUCH."
It is now sitting right beside my computer.
After finishing her breakfast, Julia suddenly, urgently needed to poop. She loudly sang songs while playing with My Little Ponies on the potty. No sooner had she finished up in the bathroom than Madeleine announced, "Mama! I knew I needed to POOP because my toots sounded like THIS: (making farting sounds.)"
Once the bathroom was free, we all got ready to go to the Y so I could do a treadmill run and the girls could play in the child care room. After we got home from the Y, I got the girls some snack and hopped into the shower. While I was in the shower, the girls got into a hysterical screaming fight over the name of the Beatles song "Bungalow Bill." Julia couldn't handle the fact that Madeleine was insisting that the song is called "Bungarow Bill." Or, as Julia put it to me, this is why she started shrieking at Madeleine: "Because Mom. I didn't like it that she kept saying 'Well Julia, it IS!' when I told her it's not BUNGAROW BILL."
We then headed off to swim lessons at Rosemary Pool. Madeleine didn't want to get out of the pool when her lesson was done and told me she wanted to stay in and swim.
ME: Madeleine, your lesson is all over. You need to get out now. That's the rule.
MADELEINE: Mama! Just let me be what I want to DO!
She then sat next to me sobbing for the next ten minutes while Julia's lesson finished up. She recovered and was back in cheerful spirits just in time for me to accidentally bonk her head on the ceiling of the car as I got her into her car seat. She then sobbed the whole way home.
I fed the kids lunch once we were home, which seemed to soothe their crabby moods. Madeleine guzzled down a juice box like a seriously thirsty girl.
MADELEINE: (brightly) Mama! I certainly love, love, LOVE juice boxes!
Madeleine then inquired who bought the black fork, even though nobody was actually using the black fork for lunch. And by "black fork," she means one of the leftover plastic forks I had bought for our backyard party last month.
ME: I bought it.
MADELEINE: Mama, am I really SMART?
ME: Uh, yes, I think you definitely are.
MADELEINE: So Mama. Does MOMMY buy forks?!? Nooooo! Does DADDY buy forks?? YES! So Mama. I think you told me the WRONG THING and I think DADDY bought the black fork.
Hmm. I'm not sure why Madeleine thinks buying forks is not among my capabilities. I guess I don't come across as a fork-purchasing kind of person to her. I have definitely bought a fork or two in my day, but apparently Madeleine thinks I'm lying to her.
Madeleine then resumed her lunch eating for all of ten seconds before announcing:
MADELEINE: Mama? I think I need to go...(smiling at me)
ME: Go what?
MADELEINE: (walking towards the bathroom) Go to the bathroom.
ME: Okay. Go ahead.
MADELEINE: But I think I need to...
ME: What? Poop?
MADELEINE: (in delighted surprise) Yes!! Mama, how did you KNOW I was needing to POOP?
While Madeleine pooped, Julia began Gallop Time, only to stop after a few laps and announce, "Mom? I think I might need to POOP."
What is with the girls and their coordinated poop schedules? And what's with the pooping twice apiece today, before it's even afternoon??
Let's hope that's it for the day, because with only one bathroom and two girls that feel the need to have marathon pooping sessions as they play with toys while on the potty, an unnecessarily long block of time has kept the bathroom out of my own use so far today.
Now we are settling down to watch a movie in our air conditioned living room while we get some rest before the big Rosemary Pool Family Fun Night this evening. Let's hope it's a poop-free event, filled with certainly love, love, LOVING juice boxes, potentially with black forks that we can toss after eating our dinners, and absolute ZERO fighting over "Bungarow Bill" or any other subject!
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